can't think of one but its Cold Heero 1x2
by Me17
Summary: CHAP 9 UP!! YAY! 1x2 get together, 3x4, bastard Heero story. mainly Duo's point of view, yaoi, citrus, lemon: (HAS PLOT), ANGST! scientists vs pilots with oz and alliance in the bkgd
1. Default Chapter

Yaoi - I think, violence, occasional 'shit' - that's it so far. 1x2 Meanie Heero, whiney Duo. 3x4 implications. Lot's of threatening Heero  
  
  
  
  
  
Plot is Heero's all bastardy and cold, but Duo likes him. Heero's all confuzzed, but not vulnerable confuzzed coz that just pisses me off. So yea Heero and Duo get together - doing missions and crap. If people want, then the story will go on with the whole Duo getting caught, Heero saying, "mission's more important". But I sorta write it as it comes.  
  
  
  
  
  
Ooo and Note: this is not a sap story. Duo doesn't sit there and go, "Oh I love him, if only blabla and speak poeticy". It gets a bit angsty as it goes on though, when Heero's being an asshole. Heh heh heh.  
  
  
  
  
  
I've already got another chapter ready btw, I'll upload it if u guys request, but if the story's crap well then y'know.  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter One  
  
Duo lay in his bed, arms folded beneath his head, and legs stretched out. He blinked his wide violet eyes; counting all the little glow-in-the-dark stars he'd studded across his half of the bedroom. Unable to sleep, he sighed, sat up and pulled his knees in, letting the sheets pool in his lap. A cool blast of air hit his smooth chest and he closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the headboard, his arms resting on his thighs.  
  
Duo's eyes popped open. Where the hell was Heero? The guy was already twenty minutes late from a mission, and Duo was growing increasingly bored. He rolled his eyes, not that Heero would be much help in the matter anyway.  
  
  
  
The Perfect Soldier was, the perfect soldier, wouldn't even allow little glow-in-the-dark stars on his half of the room! Duo's half was in chaos, covered in paper, clothing, and various bits of food. Heero's however, was ordered, neat, perfect, and well, boring!  
  
Not that Heero was boring. He tried to be. Cold, emotionless, deaf, mute, but, all Heero managed to pull off was deadly, dangerous and damn sexy. Bastard. It had taken almost a year to get Heero to show the slightest hint of emotion, and even longer to add tonal qualities to his grunts. Even then, that was only when he was in a fun mood, which was never.  
  
Duo sighed and was about to hop off his bed, when Heero walked in the door. Duo's eyes lit up as he jumped off and practically pranced his way over, his braid swinging ridiculously behind him. "Hey Heero!"  
  
Heero swept past Duo coldly and into his half of the room. The rejection almost stung - Duo hadn't even gotten a 'Hn' - but he quickly masked any hurt. If Heero knew the truth of Duo's feelings. he'd probably say, 'omae o korosu' and kill him in the blink of an eye. No remorse, no emotions; that was how the Perfect Soldier functioned.  
  
"Aw Hee-chan don't I even get a hi?" Duo whined.  
  
"Don't call me that." Heero said flatly, and walked into the bathroom. Duo watched Heero's cool, swift glide longingly, until the closed door barricaded his view. He cursed the door for not being transparent, and he cursed Heero for being so damn emotionless.  
  
Another cool breeze brushed across his skin, and Duo noticed he was shirtless. He sighed, it wasn't as if Heero would have noticed anyway. The only thing that Heero paid attention to was the beep of his computer, and the rate of the beep of his computer. Was it losing battery? Was there an urgent mission?  
  
Heero would always be completely consumed in the mission, ignoring Duo's pleas for attention. Duo could scarcely bear it when Heero acted like he wasn't there, he'd look right through him as if he didn't exist. Duo's eyes stung, but he didn't cry.  
  
"Bah!" Duo cried exasperatedly, throwing his arms up in the air. He skated backwards until the back of his knees hit the edge of his bed, and he flopped onto his back. The only reason Heero was sharing a room with him, was because there weren't enough, to go around.  
  
As usual, Quatre had taken up with his unacknowledged loverboy Trowa, and Wufei was rooming like the loner he wanted to be. Probably had some weird fetish he didn't want the others' to know about. Duo grinned; if he said that to Wufei it was likely the boy would room with him just to prove Duo otherwise. Not that Duo wanted Heero out of his room.  
  
Tuning his ears, Duo listened to the usual nighttime laughter echoing down the hall, from Quatre and Trowa's quarters. He sighed yearningly, now why couldn't Heero be more like Trowa? Strong, silent, sexy, but with enough human essence to feel! Or why didn't Duo have the sense to fall in love with Quatre? He was always feeling, so kind, caring, willing to comfort anyone in need. Even the overly feisty Wufei was better than Heero!  
  
He heard the shower stop, and turned his head eagerly, waiting for Heero to step out of the bathroom. After a few minutes, when nothing happened, Duo started feeling uneasy. Heero was usually fast and efficient when it came to showering, well, he was fast and efficient when it came to anything.  
  
Duo checked the digital clock. Ten minutes since Heero had switched the shower off. Could Heero be primping himself? Duo smiled at the thought of Heero leaning into a mirror.  
  
Finally, there was a slight thud, and then silence. Duo sat up abruptly, alarmed. His eyes flew wide open. The Perfect Soldier dropping something in the bathroom? Not possible! Duo threw back the tangled sheets and yelped when he ended up on the floor. Growling, he pushed them off, sprung up and sprinted towards the bathroom.  
  
He flung open the door, and halted in shock. There Heero was, sprawled across the tiles, probably unconscious, and bleeding all over the towel wrapped around his hips. "Shit!" Duo cried and quickly knelt beside Heero, ignoring the cold scrape on his knees.  
  
"Shit, shit, shit! What do I do?" Duo had never had to deal with unconscious Heero before; he'd always been awake to tell him what to do. Bandage this, cover that, fetch this, - and shut up Duo! He said to himself, Heero needs help!  
  
Blood started pooling on the harsh grey floor. Duo but his lip and he crouched down Heero's body. He squeezed his eyes shut. "You're bleeding Heero!" "Cut the____" Duo whooped in triumph. Cut the flow of blood. Duo lowered his hand to the wound, not noticing when a pair of merciless cobalt eyes snapped open.  
  
The next thing he knew, Duo was on his back, hands pinned above his head and Heero was straddling him. His shoulder blades were being ground painfully into the rough floor, and he whimpered when Heero's bone-crushing grip tightened.  
  
"Ow! Heero what are you doing?" Duo whined.  
  
Glazed, cobalt eyes blinked. "Heero?" He shifted beneath the boy. "Heero? It's me, Duo. Please - ow! Please let me go."  
  
He blinked again, and his eyes cleared. Duo caught a glimpse of something, before it flitted away to leave cold Heero to his own inhuman heart.  
  
"Duo." Heero's voice of cold steel echoed in the bathroom.  
  
The silence stretched.  
  
"Hee-chan this hurts!" Duo mewed, interrupting, when he was sure the old Heero was back. He squirmed, and Heero reflexively tightened his grip, eliciting another whimper from the helpless Duo. Miscalculation there.  
  
"Don't call me that." Heero said, and released his wrists, stepping off him.  
  
Duo watched Heero leave, or rather, the smooth olive-skinned back of rippling muscles leave. Duo gave himself a watery smile. "Damn."   
  
Heero ignored the pain flaring in his side, he'd been trained to block this sort of pain, or at least delay it. He shouldn't have been so stupid. If he hadn't let his guard down, he wouldn't have gotten an almost fatal wound, and he wouldn't have hurt Duo.  
  
He stared at his hands. The shape of them was probably embedded in Duo's sensual skin. Not that it mattered. He and Duo weren't even friends. But Heero had almost broken Duo's wrists, he was positive he'd bruised them, and he shouldn't have impaired the ability of a pilot.  
  
Heero's damp bangs hung across his gaze. Water clung to his lashes and dripped into his eyes. He let it. It stung, but he deserved the pain. He forced his eyes open, relishing the punishment. It wouldn't have any permanent damage, just punishment for mistakes, like in his training.  
  
Heero resisted the urge to growl at the throbbing in his wound, he was still soaking the towel in red, and if he didn't bandage it soon, he'd probably need Duo. In fact, he needed Duo now, but that was beside the point. Heero hated asking for help, he rarely did except if he was dying or paralysed.  
  
Duo lifted himself off the floor, groaning. He swept back the fallen bangs from his eyes with his hand, and checked his back in the mirror, for any grazes, twisting this way and that. Sure enough, there they were. To make matters worse, the throbbing in his wrists, which would probably be bruised, wasn't subsiding in the slightest.  
  
He sighed, at least Heero hadn't broken anything, which he'd done inadvertently a couple of times he'd been surprised by Duo. Duo scrubbed the little water pools Heero had made on him off his skin, pretending to forget the feel of Heero straddling him. He focused on the feel of Heero's hands bruising him, which sure dimmed the mood.  
  
Duo's wandering eyes caught sight of the blood on the floor, and he was shocked to realise, he'd forgotten Heero was injured! Eeep! He'd been unconscious just before, and it took a lot to knock out Heero Yuy.  
  
He almost slipped on the water on the floor in his haste to get out. Duo flung back the door with a loud bang and froze, Heero's hard eyes practically pinning him to the spot. He almost flinched under Heero's glare, and felt like shrinking back into the bathroom.  
  
"A-are you okay, Heero?" Duo spluttered, half expecting Heero to hit him.  
  
"Hn." Was the reply, and Duo almost sighed in relief when Heero turned off the laser beams in his eyes. He went back to tending his wound.  
  
Duo skipped over. "Here, lemme see." He chirped.   
  
Quatre chose that moment to race into Heero and Duo's room and gasp. "What's wrong!"  
  
Heero ignored him, and Duo rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, looking down at his feet.  
  
"I felt you panic Duo." Quatre said in that soft, lovable way. "Are you alright?"  
  
Duo stuck his head past Quatre and got a glimpse of shirtless Trowa, leaning against the doorframe, watching them all with that impassive face. He looked back at Quatre and grinned. "Yeah, sorry 'bout that Quat, but I uh." Heero turned and glared daggers at Duo. Duo played with his braid nervously. "Fell over."  
  
Quatre looked at him dubiously, the same time Wufei swept in, sword drawn. All tense and prickly like a big chinese cat. Duo grinned. "It's just me, Wu-man." "So?" The chinese boy asked, not relaxing.  
  
Duo would have flipped him off, but opted for something that wouldn't end in a broken nose, and stuck out his tongue. Wu-fei stuck his sword back in its sheath and grumbled something indignantly under his breath.  
  
"What happened?" Wufei half-muttered.  
  
"I slipped." Duo cut in, before Quatre could say anything.  
  
Wufei snickered. "Baka."  
  
Duo batted his lashes. "You know you love me, Wu."  
  
Wufei muttered something pithy. He grunted a goodnight, and headed off, back to bed.  
  
Quatre smiled his special goodnight, and then turned back to Duo. His sweet blue eyes were analysing, exploring. "Are you sure you slipped Duo?" He laid a gentle, pale hand on Duo's bare shoulder, "If this is something serious___"  
  
To everyone's surprise, Trowa lightly grasped Quatre's arm and said, "Let's go, Quatre. He slipped."  
  
Duo watched the exchange with interest. Quatre tried to hold Trowa's gaze, and failed. He dropped his head and sighed, smiling sweetly and murmuring something, which made the fainted impression of a smile on Trowa's lips.  
  
"Alright Duo, Heero. Sleep well." Quatre said softly.  
  
Trowa nodded, and Duo watched Heero nod back. Hey, how come he never got a nod? He eyed Trowa's leaving back with resentment; maybe it was a silent person thing.  
  
After the two had left, Duo was too busy watching wistfully out the door to notice Heero's approach. He was jolted back to the present, when Heero caught the boy's fingers. Duo sucked in a harsh breath.  
  
"Heero?" He asked, feeling weak.  
  
He swallowed at their closeness, his heart pummelling his ribcage. Duo bit his lip when Heero lightly wrapped his hand around Duo's - who knew Heero could be so gentle? - and pulled it into the glow of the lamp.  
  
"H-Heero?" He stammered. Did Heero even know what that small touch was doing to him?  
  
Duo's heartbeat increased to overload as Heero's face came closer. He shivered involuntarily, almost jumping when Heero's bangs left a damp trail across his skin. His breath hitched when the silky skin of Heero's chest swept past his. Duo swallowed thickly. what was going on.  
  
Heero pulled his arm out, apparently from behind Duo, brutally wrenching the boy back to the real world. Heero handed him a small blue bottle and said dispassionately, "Apply this to the bruising."   
  
He watched Heero turn and throw back the covers of his bed, in absolute amazement. He was too shocked to feel disappointment. Duo stared and gaped like a large-mouthed bass. Then he sucked in a deep breath, finally remembering to breathe. Was this Heero's way of saying sorry? He wrapped his fist around the little bottle, never taking his eyes off Heero.  
  
The other boy switched on his laptop, ignoring Duo. Pretending like he wasn't there, again. Duo looked down as he opened his palm. For one moment, he was blissfully happy. It didn't matter if Heero wasn't talking to him, or if Heero wouldn't show even the slightest emotion. The fact of the matter was, Heero cared! Heero cared that he was hurt! Duo beamed to himself and whistled a tune under his breath, knowing the ever-silent Heero would never question why. Duo threw himself backwards onto the bed.  
  
"Goodnight Hee-chan!" Duo chirped cheerfully. "Hn."  
  
The End of Chapter One  
  
How's ya like it? Crappy, good? Flame me, comment, review! Please! I'm a newbie and I need encouragement, or criticism, either way.  
  
If u liked it, I'll continue! If u didn't, I'll probably continue it anyway, but it'll be really crap!  
  
Chow chow : ) 


	2. lusty asshole heero

Yaoi, little language, bitta violence, tiny angst 1x2, 3x4 hints  
  
Hellloo again!  
  
Thanks sooo much for reviewing, I was like grinning all day! (I know ppl usually get like 20000 but I'm a newbie, I'm still on a high from actually writing the story)  
  
I know you don't care about my replies to reviewers but that's besides the point! Thank u sooo much, u have no ideea how much inspiration, I got when I read the reviews, but I had to go out and I couldn't post it, that's why it took like another stupid day. So I added on and made it longer!  
  
  
  
Chapter Two  
  
  
  
Duo squinted as he woke, his eyes opening until only a tiny sliver of them showed. Suddenly a stream of white light shot into them as Duo gave a strangled yelp, and snapped his eyes shut.  
  
A shadow seemed to fall across his shut gaze, blocking out the sun. Curious, Duo opened his eyes fully, and found himself staring straight into a pair of emerald green ones.  
  
"Nghaaa!" He cried.  
  
The eyes remained expressionless, but the lips curved ever so slightly at the corners. "Quatre sent me to wake you, Duo." Trowa murmured with those motionless lips of his.  
  
He extended a slender hand, which Duo clasped gracelessly. He suppressed a yawn, and Trowa yanked him up into a sitting position. Glancing sideways, Duo stared at Heero's empty, pristine bed.  
  
Stretching his sleep-rigid muscles, Duo asked, "Where's Heero?"  
  
"Downstairs."  
  
Duo finally gave in and yawned, his eyes squeezing closed. "Oh." He loosened his muscle control and began sliding down the headboard, preparing to fall back into peaceful slumber. Unfortunately, Trowa caught him beneath the arms, and pulled him back up.  
  
Duo was too lethargic to bother whining. Besides, Trowa was obviously totally willing to do all the work himself. He pulled him up, and hauled him out of bed, so Duo's legs hit the floor with a lazy thump.  
  
Trowa proceeded to tow Duo back with him to Quatre, his feet dragging along the carpet. Wufei chose that moment to walk past. He scowled. "Get up you baka, Yuy probably has a mission."  
  
In a second Duo was fully awake as sarcasm dripped off his tongue. "Oh whoopty doo!"  
  
Trowa paused in mid-pull, and gently lowered Duo to the carpet, who flopped like a stupid rag doll. He didn't feel like talking, and he definitely didn't feel like discussing the latest mission.  
  
Trowa knelt down beside Duo, who was sprawled at irregular angles across the floor. He regarded him with smooth, emotionless globes, and Duo unleashed a bitter laugh, something he rarely did.  
  
"Sorry Trow___" Duo's apology was cut short.  
  
"Is it Heero?"  
  
Duo's violet eyes widened considerably, and he ducked his head, hiding the film of water that was swelling across his vision. He smiled. "Yeah, guess so."  
  
The curve of Trowa's lips was slightly larger, a 'smile' he usually reserved for Quatre only. "He cares."  
  
If Duo had been standing, he would have melted, no doubt. At that moment he was glad to be slumped on the carpet. His knees felt weak, and so did his smile, shaky, maybe.  
  
Trowa shifted his weight, and stood up swiftly, heading down the stairs. Duo blinked, got up, and shook his head. "Hey Trow!" Duo called  
  
Trowa turned and waited, hand on the railing, observing Duo with quiet reserve.  
  
"Uh, thanks man." Duo said awkwardly.  
  
The other boy nodded, the faintest trace of a smile on his lips.  
  
Duo stared at his retreating back.  
  
  
  
After a few minutes, he thought. Heero cares for me?  
  
  
  
Heero had completed the type-up of his mission report at 4AM. He'd figured one hour's sleep was insufficient for replenishing energy, and so he'd stayed awake all night, awaiting a mission. But there had been no return.  
  
About approximately eight hours had passed, and he'd still received no mission. Heero chose to concentrate on committing the maps, positions, bases and statistics of every Oz base they knew of to memory. He only glanced at the images, as his training had entrenched a photographic memory in his mind.  
  
The other three, Quatre, Wufei and Trowa were eating and chattering. Well Quatre was chattering and eating with his princely manners, Wufei was scowling and drinking water, and Trowa was watching all three of them silently. Heero could relate to Trowa the best.  
  
Heero tuned his ears so that they heard no conversation; he needed no distractions. A trickle of dread seeped through the walls of his mind; the others were becoming emotionally attached by these morning, afternoon and nightly gatherings. He wouldn't. Heero shut off any emotion.  
  
Trowa's relationship with Quatre was a dangerous one, and should be terminated immediately. But it appeared that the only possible chance of separating them was to kill one.  
  
Heero considered: Better one die than two. Then again, the other would be too emotional, too quick to die. No, it was smarter to wait until they were split apart by their own actions.  
  
Heero saw Quatre glance at him out of the corner of his eye. He had tried speaking to Heero when Wufei and Trowa had disappeared for several minutes, but it was futile. Heero hadn't listened to a word the blonde pilot uttered, responding only with the occasional 'Hn,' a reply Heero had constructed with Duo's help.  
  
Speaking of Duo, where was the braided baka? Usually he woke at 10:30 and trudged downstairs in nothing but boxers, shovelled food into his mouth, and teased Wufei into a verbal rant or physical scuffle.  
  
Today though. Heero resisted the urge to lift his eyes from the laptop screen and scan the table.  
  
  
  
A split second later, Heero heard heavy, clumsy feet thump noisily down the stairs. He automatically turned his ears off in recognition, and reflex. Duo was to commence his usual morning drivel. Heero tipped his head, mildly confused at his thoughts. They told him, that for some unfathomable reason, he wanted to switch his ears back on.  
  
Heero dismissed his impulses. Hardening his walls, he thrust his thoughts back into the hapless void from whence they had come, and resumed his usual routine.  
  
Heero checked his inbox. No missions yet.   
  
As Duo ambled down the stairs, he caught sight of Heero, typing away on that damned laptop of his. He growled inwardly. He wanted to thrash it into a million pieces, maybe eat it so even Mr Perfect couldn't put it back together. Duo's stomach acid could mush anything, what was a few wires and plastic?  
  
He beamed at the rest of them. Wufei scowled back, and turned back to his water, Trowa simply stared, and Quatre. ah. thank God for Quatre, gave him a meltingly sweet smile.  
  
"Goodmorning!" Duo sung happily.  
  
His eyes passed over Heero. And went straight back again. "Hey Hee-chan, any new missions?" He asked, despite his earlier thoughts.  
  
Duo seated himself, casually grabbing a bread roll and taking a bite of it, using the question as an excuse to stare at Heero's gorgeous face. It didn't bother him in the least that Heero didn't reply, albeit it was odd. Usually the word 'mission' had the same effect 'food' had on Duo. But for some reason Heero wasn't yelling, "when! Where?"  
  
Not that Heero yelled.  
  
Duo repressed a sigh and swallowed the unused air, almost choking on a chunk of bread. Quatre cast him a peculiar look, and Duo tried to grin back. He settled for a smile.  
  
Finally, when Duo had his voice back, he decided to may as well take advantage of the unanswered question to Heero. He popped the last piece of bread in his mouth and swallowed.  
  
Leaning across the table, he audaciously laid a hand on Heero's shoulder and said, "hey Heero."  
  
In a flash Heero spun out of his chair and held his gun at Duo's head.  
  
Duo stared, wide-eyed, into Heero's empty cobalt ones. Someone in the background yelled. "Heero!"  
  
Heero didn't flinch, didn't move. In the back of his mind, a tiny voice whispered, "it's Duo."  
  
Heero lowered his gun.  
  
"What do you want, Duo?" Heero asked coldly.  
  
Duo curbed a shudder, what was with Heero these days?  
  
He shut off his earlier fear and pasted a jaunty smile on his face. "Any new missions, Hee-chan?"  
  
Heero's laptop beeped.  
  
"Hn."  
  
Duo watched in fascination, as Heero's eyes traversed the screen mechanically.  
  
Heero scanned the text, scrolling down with his mouse, because the automatic scroll was too slow for the calibre of his reading.  
  
"The mission requires Trowa and I as the first team."  
  
Duo propped his chin in his hand and closed his eyes, the words not registering. He had stopped listening to Heero's actual words, and was enjoying swimming in Heero's voice when he heard, "-Quatre, Duo and Wu___"   
  
Duo's back went ramrod straight and his eyes popped open, shouting "I'm not with you?" The same time as Quatre cried, "I'm not with Trowa?"  
  
Heero glared at Quatre first, then Duo, his gaze hardening. "No."  
  
Duo mercilessly squelched the twinge of hurt before he felt it. "Well that's cool. Me, Wu and Quat make a great team! Right guys?" He said cheerfully.  
  
Wufei just called him a 'baka', and Quatre was too busy pining for Trowa to give a crap about Duo's embarrassment. Duo sighed. "Yeap, we're the best."  
  
Duo thought he saw sympathy flicker in Wufei's eyes, but it faded before Duo could be sure.  
  
  
  
"What time?" Wufei asked.  
  
"09:30 tomorrow morning. We fly over tonight."  
  
"We're flying?!" Duo blurted.   
  
"No you baka, we swim." Wufei drawled. So maybe Duo had been wrong about the sympathy thing.  
  
Duo scrunched his braid in his hand thoughtfully, watching Wufei's face narrow in concern when Duo didn't retort. Duo shrugged and made a little dismissive noise, not really in the mood.  
  
  
  
"5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Boom!" Duo shouted, tossing a miniature bomb into the air. Heero was ignoring him, as usual. He was making and configuring the bombs for the mission. Always the stupid mission.  
  
Duo clutched the little bomb again, "5. 4.. 3. 2___"  
  
"Stop, Duo." Heero ordered flatly.  
  
"1. Boom!!!" Duo yelled louder. He was in a provocative mood today, too bad if Heero chose to attack him. If it involved skin-on-skin contact, Duo was more than willing to be an ass.  
  
Duo picked up another bomb, preparing to cast them both in the air at the same time. "5."  
  
"Stop, Duo."  
  
"4. 3.___"  
  
Heero's voice dropped dangerously. "Stop. Duo."  
  
Duo ignored him. "2. 1. BOO___"  
  
Duo was abruptly cut off when Heero whirled and rammed Duo's back into the wall, his hands pinning Duo's arms brutally behind him. Duo whimpered and clenched his eyes shut as pain flared up his spine.  
  
Suddenly he realised that the pain was a small price to pay for Heero's closeness. A rush of lust gripped him as the whole length of Heero's lean, muscled body pressed against him, thigh-to-thigh, face-to-face. Duo gasped as Heero shifted, his thigh slipping between Duo's legs.  
  
The two boys stared at each other, Duo's breathing harsh, but Heero's soft and shallow, teasing against his skin.  
  
Duo bit back a moan as Heero grinded his thigh against Duo's groin, his face contorting in pleasure and pain.  
  
"H-Heero." He stammered breathlessly, disbelievingly.  
  
Heero didn't say anything, but he tightened his hold on Duo, and practically crushed himself against him. Duo threw back his head and moaned, releasing a small whimper when he pulled back. His chest heaved as he looked up into Heero's merciless, cold eyes, which were clouded with. lust?  
  
Heero lowered his chin and he half-growled in that soft, dangerous, oh-so- sexy voice. "Duo."  
  
Duo watched, transfixed as his face came closer. Duo closed his eyes in sweet agony, his blood throbbing in his veins, sensing their lips beginning to shrink the distance between them, close enough to.  
  
The thought was lost as Heero tugged at Duo's arms and caused a jolt of pain to ricochet up his spine.  
  
"Don't bother me, Maxwell." Heero stated coldly. He let go of Duo's arms, and Duo felt a whoosh of cold air hit him, where Heero's form had been only seconds before.  
  
Heero walked back to the table emotionlessly, sitting down as if nothing had happened. He began twirling a fuse.  
  
  
  
Duo took a precarious step back, finding only the wall behind him. "I." he shakily turned, his body still burning with desire, his need painful. He glanced once more at Heero, his eyes welling with tears, and then spun and rocketed off, taking two stairs at a time.  
  
  
  
Heero attached the fuse to a bomb of gunpowder, magnesium and other basic materials. He ignored Duo, who he could clearly see was shaking. He pushed aside any guilt; so what if he'd hurt Duo. It didn't matter.  
  
"I."  
  
Heero wanted to smirk, Duo Maxwell, lost for words? Well wasn't that a revelation, he wanted to say, it was possible. But every time he thought of doing so, his gut ached like it had been punched. Besides, his body wasn't feeling too stable either.  
  
Heero hadn't known what was happening when he'd pushed Duo up against the wall. It had been the same as always, when Dup annoyed him beyond his tolerance. So why had it felt so different this time?  
  
Why did his skin feel like it was on fire?  
  
Heero had always thought Duo's whimpers and moans were of pain, his pounding heart from fear. But then why had Heero had a difficult time controlling his own heart rate? It had felt so strange.  
  
He jabbed himself with the wire accidentally, and watched, fascinated, as a bead of red bloomed on his finger. What do you know? He was human.  
  
"It's best if you don't think of the boy as human."  
  
"Why not, Doctor J?"  
  
"He has no ability to feel. He's the perfect soldier."  
  
A gasp. "How can you say that?"  
  
"He doesn't care. The perfect soldier isn't human."  
  
  
  
Quatre stood silently, his eyes distant. "Duo loves Heero, even if he doesn't know it yet." He said to no one in particular.  
  
He released a contented sigh when warm arms enfolded him in their embrace, sinking against Trowa's chest. "Does Heero love Duo?"  
  
"Maybe, I don't know. The only thing I ever feel from Heero is. anguish. and pain. And then he blocks it before I can figure out why."  
  
"He's healing."  
  
Quatre smiled and turned around, wrapping his slim arms around Trowa's waist. "You're right. And it's Duo who's healing him. As long as Duo continues to treat Heero the way he does, Heero will heal."  
  
  
  
Duo plunked on his bed and sniffled, wiping his eyes.  
  
What the hell? Had Heero really had lust in his eyes? Or was Duo simply deluding himself, allowing his fantasy to manifest itself in Duo's mind?  
  
Duo flopped on his back, no longer crying.  
  
Or was it possible, that sexy Heero Yuy, the Perfect Soldier, the ultimate object of Duo's affections, had really been ready to kiss Duo?  
  
No. It wasn't possible. Heero wasn't like that. Duo annoyed Heero didn't he? Of course Heero didn't have feelings for him. Besides, the Perfect Soldier didn't feel, let alone for a 'braided baka.'  
  
Duo sighed. So then. What the fuck, had happened in the kitchen? Duo sniffed again, it had probably just been a stupid dream. His eyes began to fill with tears again. He'd been provoking Heero, then. well.  
  
Duo uttered an, "ugh!" and stomped into the shower room, rubbing a hand across his eyes. He needed to get the 'imaginary' scent of Heero off him, refusing to acknowledge the fact that the shower had to be cold.  
  
Duo slipped out of the bathroom, a towel clinging to his slender hips. He stopped short when he noticed Heero was in the room: changing. Duo gulped and looked away as Heero slid into his standard spandex and tank, sliding his gun into who knew where.  
  
Think unsexy thoughts. Think unsexy thoughts. Think unsexy___  
  
Heero pivoted and walked over to Duo. Duo felt warmth creep up his cheeks, had Heero known he was watching?  
  
"Pack. We leave in two hours."  
  
Duo swallowed and grinned an ear-to-ear grin that Wufei had dubbed, 'the baka grin.' "Where are we going to?"  
  
"Secluded place." Heero replied dispassionately.  
  
Duo swallowed thickly, when Heero stared away. He watched as Heero shovelled his loads of tanks and shorts (spandex) into a duffel bag.  
  
"Hey Heero?"  
  
"Hn."  
  
"Do you ever wear anything else?" Heero didn't stop until he zipped up the duffel bag.  
  
"I mean, I've never really seen you wear anything else, except for school uniform."  
  
Heero didn't reply, and Duo began idly undoing and doing his braid. "Don't you get cold?"  
  
"I was trained to ignore cold."  
  
Duo swallowed hard when Heero's eyes swept down and up his body, clad in only a towel. His expressionless blue gaze slid back to Duo's face. "You should wear less. Clothing restricts movement."  
  
Wouldn't you like that? Duo wanted to say. Instead, he rolled his eyes and answered. "I like what I wear, you should try it someday Hee-chan."  
  
Or since you never get cold, maybe stick with the spandex. Yeah, go spandex. Spandex all the way.  
  
Duo watched Heero turned his back on him, considering the conversation, finished.  
  
Heero flipped open his laptop and immediately began typing. Duo sighed, perching himself on the end of his bed, bored.  
  
"Hey Heero?"  
  
"Hn."  
  
"Why do you always say 'Hn'?"  
  
'Because I've secretly had the hots for you ever since I met you Duo. Come over here and we'll have hot sex all night long.'  
  
  
  
Duo sighed when Heero didn't reply.  
  
  
  
Heero continued revising the mission details, ignoring the braided baka's casual glances his way.  
  
Several minutes passed. He felt something, and half-looked over his shoulder. Duo was leaning over him, arms behind his back, rocking back and forth on his heels.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing." Duo uttered cheerfully, bending down so his head was over Heero's shoulder. "Just watching you work."  
  
Heero didn't know why he did it, he just did. While Duo hummed a merry tune, he reached up and grabbed the baka's braid, without his eyes ever leaving the screen.  
  
Duo yelped at first and tried to squirm out of his hold. But nothing escaped Heero's grip. "Heero let go!" Duo whined miserably, finally stopping and letting his shoulders sag.  
  
Duo mewed pathetically, pouting like a child as he renewed his struggle against Heero's right hand. He whined even more when he realised he couldn't break free. Duo was about to start begging, when Heero tugged at Duo's braid.  
  
Duo lost his balance and fell forward, toppling into Heero's lap. The breath whooshed out of Duo when he realised where he was, what.?  
  
  
  
Heero stared into Duo's wide, vulnerable eyes, surprised at how light the boy was. Duo's violet gaze was misted with confusion and. hope?  
  
  
  
"H-Heero?" He blinked, "what's going on?"  
  
Duo blinked again, what was Heero doing? His face was completely impassive, and unreadable, his eyes the same empty cobalt. The only thing that reminded him of the situation was that Heero's fist was still locked around his braid, and he, Duo was in Heero's lap.  
  
Duo's heart raced harder, "What. what are you doing?"  
  
  
  
Heero gazed down at Duo.  
  
What am I doing?  
  
Heero tensed. He snapped to his feet, causing Duo to yelp and fall to the floor in a tangle of limbs.  
  
Emotion was a luxury no soldier could afford.  
  
He gave Duo's braid a powerful yank, and Duo whimpered. Heero felt no satisfaction. He stared emotionlessly, and said in that familiar, cold voice. "Your braid is a hazard."  
  
Duo still looked confused, and then his eyes became huge.  
  
  
  
NO! Duo shouted inside himself.  
  
He tried to scurry backwards, but Heero gave a vicious jerk and wrenched him back, pulling so hard it brought tears to Duo's eyes. So that was what Heero had been trying to do. It was all a scheme to cut off Duo's braid.  
  
Duo froze under Heero's inhuman gaze.  
  
He tried to crawl away again, but Heero just pulled him back. "No Heero!" He shouted, his voice dry with fear.  
  
"I won't let you! This is all I have!"  
  
Duo tried to get to his feet, but was roughly slammed back to the floor. He turned, his eyes burning with tears. "Please Heero!" He pleaded. "I don't care how dangerous this is! This is all I have!"  
  
Heero said nothing, so Duo struggled, worse than before. Duo thrashed so hard, he didn't even care if he ripped out a few strands of hair in the process.  
  
But Heero had always been stronger; he'd always been more powerful.  
  
Duo looked up pleadingly.  
  
One moment, Duo kneeling on the carpet, the next, Heero had pushed him backward, and was on top of him, pinning Duo's body. Duo's heartbeat went frantic as he writhed furiously, trying to push Heero off him.  
  
Duo's fist swung out, but Heero caught it with practiced ease. He swiftly locked both wrists in one hand.  
  
"No Heero, please!" Duo cried, his cheeks tear-stained. "Please don't!"  
  
Heero stared at Duo. If he cut Duo's braid, it would strip the baka of all his illusions of friendship forever. It hadn't even occurred to him before now.  
  
"Don't Heero!"  
  
Heero's heart turned over inside his chest.  
  
"Please Heero." Duo cried, begged.  
  
Heero reached for the scissors.  
  
Caring was a dangerous emotion. And Heero cared. He mercilessly ripped the emotion from his mind, no distractions.  
  
"Heero!" Duo whimpered as Heero tightened his grip. A set of fresh tears flowed down his cheeks. "Please don't Heero! God Please don't!" He pleaded, but Heero was so much stronger, and his eyes were so cold, so unfeeling.  
  
He struggled convulsively, fear wracking his body so that he no longer felt anything except blind-terror. Heero pressed down harder on the boy, forcing him to lay still. But Duo wouldn't stop, he wouldn't!  
  
"Heero! Please!" Duo pleaded again.  
  
Heero ignored him.  
  
"Heero! Please!"  
  
Heero switched off his ears to Duo's cries. He threaded his fingers through the scissor's plastic loops.  
  
"No Heero, don't!" The tears were flowing so freely now.  
  
"No Heero! Let me go! Please don't! Don't Heero!" Duo raised his voice in desperation when Heero picked up the long braid. "Heero STOP!!!"  
  
  
  
Quatre dashed into the room with Trowa behind him.  
  
He stared at the scene before him and his eyes grew cold.  
  
Quatre's voice was harder than Duo had ever heard it, "get up, Heero."   
  
Heero raised his eyes up and stared into the barrel of Quatre's gun.  
  
The End of Chapter 2  
  
Chow chow ppl! Next chapters up in sayyy a day minimum, might be three ( (depends on homework - stupid skool)  
  
Btw, was that too emotional? - the Blubbering Duo - coz I'm willing to change it. Also, I know its kinda gay how there's no Heero getting all emotional before, so say the word and ill insert it in!  
  
Bibi 


	3. evry pilot, hardly ne duo, skip chap if ...

Teeny yaoi, bad language, heero/wufei violence, slight angst, mini-as 3x4 hints, 1x2 at the end  
  
  
  
  
  
Eeeps sorry for the long wait ppl, but skool was screwing me up.  
  
  
  
  
  
Neways I'm really reeeeallly sorry cause this chapter is kinda crap, it doesn't even fit into the plot, I think I just felt like putting it there. Plus, I can't really do the other characters too well.  
  
  
  
  
  
If you want, u can skip it all and scroll down to the last few pages cause that's prolly the only important part.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Three  
  
  
  
"Get off him, Heero."  
  
Quatre's voice seemed to echo in the silence.  
  
His voice broke. "Get the fuck off him, Yuy."  
  
  
  
  
  
Duo was too shocked to do anything, say anything, the threat to his braid forgotten. He felt a weight lift off his body, the grip on his wrists disappear. He was finally free, but Duo felt no relief.  
  
  
  
Heero slowly rose to his feet.  
  
Duo caught one glimpse of Heero's face, and wanted to cry. Whether it was from sadness, shock, or simply seeing that deathly cold look restored in his Hee-chan's eyes, Duo didn't know. He didn't care; he just wanted it to go away.  
  
Duo averted his eyes.  
  
Quatre's bright blue orbs were glistening with unshed tears, his soft features confused, yet pained. "... Duo?" He asked softly. "Don't worry, it's all over now." His voice quavered. "Heero can't touch you now."  
  
Heero watched emotionlessly through the dark wet bangs of his hair, his expression cold. Quatre shifted, straightening his arm and aim. "Don't move Heero." He added, more softly. "How could you do this?"  
  
Quatre's eyes filled with tears as Heero stared at him impassively. He felt so ashamed, he should have known, should have felt it in Heero. But it was too late for regrets.  
  
"Duo? Are you hurt, Duo?"  
  
Duo tried to speak. "H__ro wa___ __ing." He gave up, Quatre hadn't even heard the disjointed words, and his voice was too dry and raspy to be heard. He couldn't even wave his hands frantically in the air, because somewhere along the way, he'd lost the ability to move.  
  
God Quatre, don't do anything stupid, he thought. Heero didn't do this.  
  
Quatre clamped his teeth down on his trembling lip when Duo didn't reply. Had he misjudged Heero so badly? "I.. I'm so sorry Duo." He whispered softly. "This wasn't supposed to happen."  
  
He'd known Duo loved Heero, and Duo was the only one Heero ever spoke a word to, as little as it was. He'd made sure they were always together, never apart. It was all his fault, and now Duo was paying for that mistake. Paying for a mistake? - God Duo had almost been raped. Quatre tasted the salty tang of blood on his tongue.  
  
He turned to Heero. His fingers flexed around the handgun. "What were you doing, Heero?"  
  
  
  
There was an ache in his chest. Heero's heart hurt. Was that possible? His heart didn't exist. His body was a shell for the perfect soldier, nothing more.  
  
He shouldn't be hurting. A soldier could not afford idle things like friendship or trust. The others were useful, but the bonds forming between them compromised their worth.  
  
Quatre's lips were moving, his eyes watering, the gun, shaking with his hand. Heero could snatch it in a second, but he allowed Quatre the illusion of control. He wasn't listening to Quatre's murmured words.  
  
It had never occurred to him how off track he'd gotten. Fifteen years of training had produced the Perfect Soldier, the human body only a cocoon to disguise the deadly weapon inside.  
  
Heero had been acting as though he lived. The luxuries would stop now. No more indulgence. No more emotion. No more attachment.  
  
He felt his emotions rise in protest, but Heero clamped down coldly on what remained of his human sentiment. He felt no satisfaction when he felt the last strains of resistance from his emotions wither, and die.  
  
"What were you doing, Heero?" Quatre.  
  
Heero's cobalt gaze traversed the boy's face. So easily read, so vulnerable. His expressions changed constantly, from soft and compassionate to hard and determined. Now, what Heero felt, he saw reflected in Quatre's eyes. To a lesser degree, to be sure, but the cold was there.  
  
A seed of contamination that would only grow with time.  
  
The anger changed to a despairing plea. "Heero, answer me. Tell me I'm wrong."  
  
Tell Quatre he was wrong? Why bother? Heero could treat this scenario as a test of Doctor J's. Would the perfect soldier cling to the relationships that every human craved, or would he shove them aside, and fire the gun? Destroy those who loved him?  
  
"Good boy, Heero." Doctor J praised. "It was for the best, the little girl would have interfered with the mission, anyway."  
  
"So it's true?" Quatre's voice was thick with grief and sorrow.  
  
Heero blocked the wash of anguish from his mind. No, it did not matter that Quatre thought that he had tried to rape Duo. Quatre was the child of natural empathy, reader of hearts, prince of all compassion, and he believed Heero had tried to rape Duo.  
  
Good.  
  
Let him think what he wanted.  
  
  
  
The pounding of swift feet alerted the other pilots to Wufei's approach. The chinese boy swung around the corner and skidded to a halt when he saw the standoff. His eyes flew from Quatre, to Heero, and then finally, to Duo. His black gaze smouldered as understanding dawned.  
  
No one spoke a word. Wufei's gaze flicked back to Duo, and slid up until it fastened, dangerously hard on the other boy. There was a long, tense silence, as the others waited for him to react.  
  
"Wufei___" Trowa spoke for the first time.  
  
In a flash Wufei whipped out his sword and held it at the ready, facing Heero.  
  
"You bastard," he hissed through clenched teeth. "You fucking bastard."  
  
Duo felt so helpless, more so than he usually did as he watched the scene unfold. "Heer___" Sharp pains lanced up his throat, cutting him off. Damnit! This would screw everything up!  
  
Wufei snarled. "I never knew you possessed no honour."  
  
Heero's honourable! Duo wanted to shout. Why wasn't the bastard sticking up for himself? Duo tried to, managing only a rasping croak, which caused more pain than it was worth.  
  
"You're pathetic, Yuy."  
  
Damnit why wasn't Heero denying it? His eyes shifted from Wufei to Heero.  
  
Oh FUCK. Heero's face was like sculpt glass, just as beautiful, and just as lifeless. No one else seemed to know, but Duo knew every glare, look or stare Heero had, and he'd given them all names too.  
  
Duo could feel and see what Heero's mind was doing, ready to attack at any second, and annihilate all the people within a thirty-mile radius. He shuddered. He hadn't seen that look so severe since a year ago.  
  
"You couldn't even have him without hurting him, could you?"  
  
Shut up Wufei! He couldn't lose Heero now. What shreds of emotion Heero had shown him would never be seen again, and Duo wasn't sure if he could handle that.  
  
Duo felt tears sting his eyes, and reflexively shut his lids.  
  
He heard the soft footfalls of feet on the carpet coming closer, but ignored them. There was a tingling in his limbs, and it wasn't the warm, happy tingling he felt when he saw Heero.  
  
Hands as gentle as any medic's picked up his.  
  
Duo's eyes popped open. Wufei. Wufei?  
  
Wufei stared into Duo's eyes with an intensity that frightened him. Words flowed from his unmoving lips, usually so animated. "Do you want me to kill him, Duo?"  
  
Duo's heartbeat rose with panic.  
  
"I'll kill him for you, Duo. All you have to do is ask."  
  
Wufei really meant it. He really meant it. If Duo said the word, he would hunt Heero down until he was within the last hour of his life, if that was what it took.  
  
Duo's eyes became frantic, but Wufei wasn't looking. Instead, he was turning Duo's arm in his hands, examining the bruises. "Jesus, Duo." He muttered. "What did he do to you?"  
  
Duo's pulls were futile; his strength was waning considerably, and the tingling was shifting into burning, in his blood. Duo's eyes unfocused, focused, unfocused, focused____  
  
  
  
"Duo?"  
  
Duo moaned and arched his back off the floor as every muscle in his body constricted. His arms, legs, back, neck, even the blood stopped dead in his veins. What was happening to him? His vision blurred, making Wufei nothing more than an obscure impression in a screen of colour.  
  
Wufei gnashed his teeth together when he saw Duo's eyes glaze. "I'll get him for this." He growled.  
  
  
  
Quatre was rooted to the spot, his aim wavering dangerously. The impact of Heero, Duo and Wufei's emotions was taking its toll on his body, and his hands trembled as he clutched the handgun.  
  
Wufei had stepped far beyond the line, some of those words would be forever withstanding, impossible to take back. If ever they did mend the friendship, the relationship between Heero and Wufei would be tenuous, at best.  
  
Quatre swayed on his feet.  
  
"Heero," he uttered softly. He was so tired. "Move.. over there."  
  
Wufei swiftly rose from his kneel beside Duo, his hatred rising at the same speed.  
  
He stalked up to the emotionless pilot and grabbed a handful of his shirt. He slapped the other boy on the face. "You bastard," He snarled. "What the fuck were you thinking?"  
  
"Did you think we'd just let you get away with it?" Heero didn't respond. "Say something, you emotionless fuck!"  
  
  
  
Heero didn't blink; his large, beautiful eyes deadpan. Wufei bowed his head as if in submission, but his soft, vicious snarl rose up to reach everyone's ears. "You disgust me." He said, his tongue thick with loathing. "To think I respected you once."  
  
Wufei raised his hand to slap Heero again.  
  
Heero caught Wufei's wrist in a vice-like grip, and in a second the boy was on his knees, snarling in pain. Quatre levelled his weapon in warning, but Heero ignored it. He'd been shot before.  
  
Heero clamped his other hand down on Wufei's jaw. The boy immediately countered and latched onto Heero's wrist with his free hand, but Heero's grip only tightened. Wufei growled, unable to pull away as Heero forced his chin within inches from the ground  
  
"Was this the same trick you used on Duo?" He snarled.  
  
Heero dug his fingers deeper into the boy's jawbone.  
  
"Let go of him!" Quatre cried, as if awakening from a daze.  
  
A smirk whispered across Heero's lips. He stood, releasing Wufei so fast the boy was hurtled backwards by his own pull.  
  
Wufei staggered backwards a few steps before he regained his balance. Heero watched vacantly, undaunted when Wufei raised his eyes and matched Heero's with a glare of his own. Heero recognized it as defence for his humiliation and felt no pleasure in Wufei's weakness. The victory had felt empty, the smirk, purely one for show.  
  
Heero diverted his attention to Quatre as the boy took a shaky step forward.  
  
Quatre's eyes shimmered like small, sky-blue crystals, and the angel's words were filled with emotion and despair. "Heero.. aren't you even the slightest bit sorry?"  
  
"For what." Heero replied coldly.  
  
Quatre trembled and bit his lip. "For hurting Duo?"  
  
"No." He answered flatly.  
  
Twin tears rolled down Quatre's cheeks, his voice soft when he spoke. "You must, Heero. There must be some part of you that feels regret."  
  
There was a long pause.  
  
"There is."  
  
Quatre's eyes grew wide with hope, and Heero looked at Duo. Heero raised his eyes; his voice cutting like cold steel. "I regret not finishing the job."  
  
The light in Quatre's sweet face went out.  
  
There was a violent snarl as Wufei launched himself at Heero. Heero spun to meet Wufei inches before he hit. His arm caught Wufei in the stomach, and he was flung backwards until he hit the wall with a sharp crack, the timber splitting.  
  
Heero turned back to Quatre, emotionless. Instead of the anger he expected, he faced mournful blue eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry, Heero. I'm so sorry I couldn't heal you."  
  
"Heal what." It wasn't a question.  
  
Wufei coughed, and laughed from where he sat. Heero turned. Wufei's head ducked, as he laughed some more. When he looked up, he spoke, his voice dripping with venom. "You're right, Yuy."  
  
His gaze slid to the other pilot. "There's nothing left to heal Quatre. Don't bother. He's already dead."  
  
  
  
Duo's temples ached; he'd heard nothing of the continuing dialogue. The cramps had ended, but now a dull ache thrummed in his veins. His vision hadn't cleared, and nor had his mind. God, he wanted to sleep. But Duo needed to stay awake for Heero.  
  
  
  
Heero glanced at Wufei, Duo, and slammed a wall down on his guilt. No more. He pivoted and headed for the door, leaving a ribbon of chilled air behind him. Quatre shook the handgun at him, but Heero just shoved the smaller pilot aside. The empath would never shoot one he had once called 'friend.'  
  
Heero walked down the corridor.  
  
"Fuck you, Yuy!" He heard Wufei call after him.  
  
Heero kept walking.  
  
He felt nothing.  
  
Nothing.  
  
  
  
When Heero had left, Quatre had slumped against the wall, his grief and exhaustion, painfully clear. He'd reached for Trowa, but the boy had already gone.  
  
Despite Quatre's objections; Wufei had hoisted the squirming boy over his shoulder, ignoring his own pain, and carried Quatre to the door, himself.  
  
Duo heard Wufei walk in. He could feel his voice returning, but blackness still clouded the corners of his eyes. Duo's mind felt like a puddle of goo, and it was difficult to focus on the swimming images before him.  
  
Wufei knelt down beside Duo, wincing. Duo blinked at the three Wufeis' flanking him.  
  
"Wu-man." Duo croaked.  
  
All four Wufeis' scowled at him fondly. "What, baka?"  
  
Duo whimpered as pain flared and subsided, surprised to see a flicker of concern cross Wufei's features.  
  
"Stop acting like an onna and speak up." The Wufeis' growled.  
  
Duo choked on a laugh. Unsure who to stare at, he looked at Left Wufei. "Ki__sama." He threw back.  
  
Wufei grinned, something very new to him, obviously.  
  
Something Heero would usually say chose that moment to pop into Duo's head, and Duo was amazed he had so little control that the word actually escaped his lips. "Mi_on."  
  
"The mission?" Duo didn't answer, his strength failing. Wufei's face puckered in a frown as he thought about it. Finally, his face formed that familiar scowl. "Fuck the mission."  
  
Duo didn't hear Wufei answer, he was already asleep.  
  
  
  
The moment he stepped inside his room, Quatre dropped to his knees. He'd failed Duo. No. He'd failed them all.  
  
He just hadn't believed that Heero was what he'd pretended to be. He'd known he wasn't. The pain that plagued Heero made Quatre feel for him more than any of the others. His anguish was locked inside him with such intensity that it had the capacity to destroy Quatre's mind. Were it not for Heero's ability to bar his emotions, Quatre risked coma every time Heero felt.  
  
It hadn't occurred to him that suffering changed a person. He hadn't realised that those with the cruellest pasts, were often the cruellest of all.  
  
The first wave of Duo's blind terror had hit Quatre with the force of a brick wall. He'd crumpled to the floor, and only with Trowa's help, gotten to his feet. His mind still throbbing with emotion that wasn't his, Quatre and Trowa had run down the hall to Duo's room.  
  
At first, Quatre had thought he'd been mistaken, his head screaming at him that the scene before him wasn't real. He'd seen Heero pinning down Duo's body, and Duo, pleading with all his heart, for Heero to stop.  
  
Quatre closed his eyes against the image, willing it to disappear. It faded, but it buried itself in Quatre's memory, forever preserved in his archive of pain.  
  
Quatre put his hands over his face. A long moment passed, before he started crying. Soft, weeping sobs that no one could outside his room could hear. He yearned to be comforted by Trowa's long arms wrapping around him, soothing his pain. He longed for those sensual lips to kiss him, just once, and take all the hurt away.  
  
God, it would have been enough to simply be near him.  
  
Quatre's shoulders sagged.  
  
But what was he saying? He didn't even deserve Trowa.  
  
  
  
Trowa stared silently at Heero, evaluating what he'd seen and evaluating what he was seeing now.  
  
Trowa had seen true panic in Duo's eyes when Wufei had spoken to him. He'd been unable to speak or move, but his emotions were alert, and sometimes, they spoke better to Trowa than Duo's mouth.  
  
And now Heero, who stood before him, regarded Trowa with eyes so deathly cold even Trowa dared not look at them for long. It was as if a layer of his humanity had been stripped away.  
  
"You didn't try to rape him."  
  
There was no relief in Heero's eyes, just cold confirmation. "Yes."  
  
Trowa nodded. "You won't tell them?"  
  
"No."  
  
Trowa paused. "Duo will."  
  
"No."  
  
"No?"  
  
"Hn. I threatened to cut his braid."  
  
"He'll forgive you," Trowa replied simply. Duo would.  
  
He waited for Heero to respond, but the other boy said nothing, staring emotionlessly.  
  
Did Heero want forgiveness? Duo had stirred emotions that Heero had been trained to lock away until death. He'd never objected at their assumptions, because he needed them to go away, to stop caring.  
  
Heero was silent, so Trowa gave a soft, uncharacteristic sigh. "You don't understand what Duo feels for you, Heero."  
  
Heero jerked his head up, but his face remained impassive.  
  
"He'll forgive you, no matter what you do."  
  
Heero automatically slowed his heartbeat to its natural pace. He was unwilling to acknowledge it, but the walls he'd set up around himself were slowly eroding at the edges. Duo, he knew, was the source of this danger, and yet he listened still.  
  
"Duo's ill, Heero." Trowa turned around so his back was facing Heero. "If you care at all, you'll see him soon." He began walking away.  
  
Heero blinked. Duo was ill? But their blood had been pumped with chemicals, to make them immune to all forms of illness.  
  
Heero clenched his hands into fists as he watched Trowa's back retreat, his knuckles bloodless as he struggled between Stressed Teenager and Perfect Soldier.  
  
The Perfect Soldier won. "What of the mission?"  
  
Trowa pulled to halt, and slowly swivelled around. His eyes almost looked pained. "When?"  
  
"Fifteen minutes."  
  
Trowa's heart ached as he thought of the blond angel in his room, probably tearing himself apart with guilt.  
  
"Will you see Duo?"  
  
"No."  
  
Trowa's eyes glazed slightly. I'm sorry, Little One. His lips barely moved when he spoke, "I'll be ready."  
  
  
  
The next day...  
  
  
  
Duo woke in the darkness. So dark.  
  
The curtains parted and sunshine flooded the room. Duo brushed his bangs from his eyes and smiled sheepishly to himself. Whoops.  
  
Purely out of habit, he glanced sideways to look at Heero. His eyes widened when he saw Quatre sitting there, cross-legged, on a bed of sweet sunshine, looking as innocent as you please.  
  
"Goodmorning Duo." Quatre smiled.  
  
Duo blinked. Heero had never, ever, allowed anyone beside himself, on his bed. He blinked again. Not that Heero owned a bed of sweet sunshine.  
  
Still half-asleep, he asked. "Where's Heero?"  
  
Duo watched with fascination, as Quatre's face of an angel went blank. He'd have to tell them the truth about Heero. "Heero's on a mission." The expression crumbled. "With Trowa."  
  
Heero was on a mission? Shit! Duo scrambled out of bed, surprised to find himself clad only in boxers.  
  
He spun around and sprinted for the door, but Quatre caught his elbow. "What's wrong, Duo?" Quatre asked, slightly frightened.  
  
"That mission was for all five of us, Quat! Not two!"  
  
Quatre's face paled. "But Trowa said we were only backup___"  
  
"TROWA LIED!" Duo shouted into the astonished boy's face. He ripped himself out of Quatre's grasp, whirled around, and spun out the door, ramming his shoulder clumsily into the frame as he went.  
  
  
  
Quatre scurried outside, and watched in horror as Duo's Deathscythe lifted up into the air. He cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled. "DUO!"  
  
But the other couldn't see him, let alone hear him. The wind forced his hair back, and whipped his clothes against his body, silencing Quatre's cries of "DUO!!!"  
  
Quatre threw up his arms to shield his face as the wind increased, almost throwing him backwards on the dirt. "DUO!!!" He tried one last time.  
  
He was too late. By the time the gust had died, Duo's gundam was already flying off into the sun. Quatre blinked, watching the last speck of the Deathscythe vanish. He didn't look away as he said softly. "Be careful, Duo."  
  
  
  
Duo stared at the hole Heero had referred to as a cabin. He checked the map again. Yup, this was definitely it.  
  
He climbed through the wilderness before him, snapping thick roots and squelching teeny plants. When he stumbled out, he turned around, only to see a long trail of squashed vegetation that clearly marked his tracks.  
  
He looked around sheepishly, glad that Heero wasn't there to scold him. If he had been, they'd probably have spent the whole day reshaping each blade of grass until it looked exactly the same as it had, before he'd come along.  
  
Duo swung himself up on what appeared to be the veranda, pocketing his map. He leapt over the railing and began stomping horrendously loud outside the ranch slider.  
  
If he made enough noise, Heero would know it was Duo, and not attack him, for once.  
  
After completing about twenty circles, Duo was getting bored, not to mention dizzy. Figuring that the two pilots weren't in, he squatted down outside the door, leaning his back against the glass.  
  
He began dozing after a while, swatting flies and yawning. Duo became so docile he didn't notice when the glass door slid open. Duo yelped and fell backwards in surprise, equally surprised when strong olive-skinned arms caught him before he hit the floor.  
  
Duo blinked his big violet eyes. He beamed. "Hey Hee-chan!"  
  
Heero didn't let go. He wrapped his hand around Duo's braid and pulled his fingers down the entire length of it.  
  
Duo's first reaction was to panic, given what had happened the last time Heero had pulled on his braid. He tensed, ready to bolt, until after a few sensual caresses, when he realised that the emotionless pilot was actually stroking it.  
  
There were two parts of Duo that gave him amazing, sensual pleasure when they were touched. The first was his dick, and the second was his hair.  
  
Duo closed his eyes and shuddered. "Hee-eero stop." He half-whimpered.  
  
Heero let Duo go so fast he hit the floorboards with a loud thud. "Owww," Duo whined. Damn, he hadn't actually meant for Heero to do it.  
  
He tried to sit up, but Heero swung a leg across his hips, so that he straddled Duo's thighs. Duo stopped in surprise, unsure what to do. Heero solved that problem when he shifted on top of Duo. Duo bit back a moan, using all his power not to arch against him. Then Heero took hold of his braid again, stroking.  
  
"Why are you here, Duo?"  
  
"Th-the," Duo couldn't stand it, not both areas being stimulated at the one time. "Mi-mmmphi-ssion." He moaned.  
  
"How did you get here?"  
  
Duo couldn't speak he was in so much ecstasy. Heero had to know, of course he knew. Bastard.  
  
Heero slowed his hands, and a small whimper escaped Duo's throat. "How did you get here, Duo?"  
  
Duo opened his eyes, aware that the tone of voice Heero used had changed. He still couldn't think straight, but his scrambled memory searched for an answer. "Gundam." He blurted.  
  
The hands stopped dead, so did Duo.  
  
Duo flinched at the hand that slammed against the floorboard beside his head.  
  
"What did you say?"  
  
  
  
The End of Chapter 3  
  
Please please review, I need to know especially what I should do to this chapter cause it sounds so crap! I fink I made the guys too emotional again. But please say something nice too cause then I'll be inspired to write  
  
Ooh and if ure wondering why duo couldn't move n stuff, I tell u in the next chapter. Don't expect any revelation :s  
  
Expect chap 4 in min 2 days max 4  
  
Neways, luv u all  
  
chowchow 


	4. spasticated too long chap bits of 3x4, 1...

K I still don't know Japanese terms that well. Yaoiness (I thinkagain) violence - not so much, bit of swearing (makes u wonder y I put it in R, don't worry, there'll be a lemon sooner or later) 1x2, more than usual 3x4  
  
Im really really sorry but this chap got a bit er. screwed, but since ive got the weekend, mayb I can make chap 5 good. Then again, that's what I always say.  
  
Alright just for the record, my idea of night is till like 6Am which means I was only 10 minutes late! I stayd up all night riting it coz I suck so much and hate making ppl wait (coz I hate waiting for fanfic riters who take like a month 2 post a chapter) and I was too much of a lazyass to do b4  
  
Oh and 2 lora Helen - I didn't mean it! Sappiness duznt piss me off, that was an exaggaration hehe (  
  
And I say this be4 I get growled at: there will be a plot!! (eventually) duo and heero will eventually get together! I really don't know where Trowa nad Quatre r going so recommend!  
  
Ooo and I know duo's not cool anymore, so I'll try n make him cool 4 evry1 who likes him again 'kay? Meaning: recommend! And if ne1 wants to help me, feel free, tell me what stories I should read to get ideeeas.  
  
Wellses, enjoy.  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Four  
  
  
  
"Wha? I. uh." Duo shrank back. "Gundam?"  
  
"Baka." Duo flinched. The nickname lacked any of its usual familiarity.  
  
Heero's hand lashed out, smacking Duo's face to the side with a crack. Duo blinked back tears; not even registering the slap until the entire left side of his face began to ache. His braid swung free, and Duo snatched it back, clutching it to his chest like a lifeline.  
  
He rose up from his elbows into a sitting position, watching as Heero slid mutely off him. "Hee-chan?" Duo asked meekly.  
  
"Don't call me that."  
  
Heero turned around, removing something at his side. Despite the throbbing in Duo's face, and certain other parts of his body, Duo forced a grin. "Why not? It suits you, Hee-cha__"  
  
"Shut up." Heero cut in coldly.  
  
Duo ignored the part of him that told him to obey that order. He kept on grinning, regardless of the fact that Heero had left him hard and needy enough to beg for it. But did Heero even know what he was doing to him?  
  
Duo's smile evaporated, and his eyes widened when Heero turned back around, and pulled out his handgun. He shrank back against the wall, making every effort not to curl up too. Thankfully, the gun hung loosely at Heero's side. Heero wouldn't just shoot him for bringing a Gundam, would he?  
  
God what was wrong with Heero these days?  
  
"Get up."  
  
Duo got up. He stood close to Heero, bracing himself for another hit, or maybe a bullet wound.  
  
  
  
Even though Duo was almost his height, he seemed so much smaller. Those big, watering eyes blinked innocently at him. There was a large red handprint staining his left cheek, stretching down his jaw and almost covering the entire expanse of the left side of his face. Within hours, the bruises Heero had inflicted would surface on Duo's flawless skin.  
  
Heero wanted to snarl, but nothing showed on his face. Duo's appearance during the mission had rendered Heero's vow to stay away from the baka useless. Though he hated to admit it, seeing Duo had revitalised every memory of Heero's emotions, and the need he felt for Duo had been the repercussion for repressing them.  
  
Heero slid the handgun's safety off and on with a satisfying click. Without looking, he sensed Duo's slender fingers tightening around his chestnut rope.  
  
Heero ignored what symbolic meaning the chestnut rope might hold, and lifted his eyes to Duo's face instead. His expressions had always been so easy to read, and now, this close, Heero could feel it. Duo was afraid of him.  
  
Duo met his gaze, and then ducked his head slightly, although he did not lose eye contact. Several locks of hair fell across his eyes, but Duo made no attempt to remove them. Heero's hands clenched into fists to stop himself from brushing away the bangs that obscured those violet orbs.  
  
He steeled his muscles. Heero could not afford to lose his control, not now.  
  
  
  
Against all logic, and every smart brain cell God had ever been stupid enough to give him, Duo asked. "Why is it so bad I brought my baby anyway?"  
  
Duo held back the impulse to slap himself on the head. He knew all of Heero's signs, and what they meant. The fisted hands and bloodless knuckles implied he was restraining himself. From doing what? Probably from shooting a fellow Gundam pilot.  
  
Duo swept the hair back from his eyes. He didn't look at Heero, afraid at what he might see.  
  
"Heero?" He hesitated weakly.  
  
"A search is being conducted." Heero slid the gun back into his spandex and said robotically, "We leave now"  
  
Duo swallowed, fiddling with the end of his plait. He'd probably just screwed up the entire mission. "Sorry, Hee-chan."  
  
His back hit the wall with a violent thud, making the whole room shake. He squirmed helplessly against the hands that pinned his shoulders down. "I said: Don't call me that."  
  
  
  
Trowa slipped inside stealthily, his steps cat-light as he'd been taught. He was about to announce his entry, but he saw Heero and Duo. He was stealing back out, when Trowa stiffened internally, hearing a thud. He turned in time to see Heero lean over the slender boy and say, "I said, don't call me that."  
  
Even at that distance, Trowa swore he saw something flicker in Duo's eyes. A silent, tense moment passed, and then Heero and Duo broke apart. Heero spun on his heel and walked off, but Duo remained, bracing himself against the wall as if he had lost the ability to stand.  
  
Trowa relaxed. He was certain, despite Heero's threats, that he would never hurt Duo seriously unless there was a good reason. Seeing a dazed Duo, still staring blankly at the wall, Trowa greeted. "Duo."  
  
Duo jumped at the unexpected noise, turned, and then smiled a big, happy grin. "Trow!" He cried.  
  
Duo burst into a run and headed for Trowa, tripping over the bags he had sensibly dropped in the middle of the floor. He barrelled into Trowa's long legs with a startled squawk. Smooth, Duo. Trowa, being the graceful acrobat that he was, didn't budge, except for easily lifting Duo in the fashion he'd come to expect. Duo wrapped his arms around Trowa's ribs and squeezed, nuzzling his head against the taller boy's chest.  
  
After squeezing Trowa for enough time to tell Quatre and make him sufficiently jealous, Duo pulled away.  
  
Wariness glinted in Trowa's eyes as Duo rose up on the tips of his toes and propped an elbow on Trowa's shoulder.  
  
His smile widened mischievously. "So Trowa," Duo began innocently, "How's Quatre?"  
  
  
  
Heero exited the cabin through the back door. He glided with the swift grace of a predator, his steps silent and sure. Too bad he didn't feel that way. His heart pounded unnaturally and his legs threatened to balk, it was so unfamiliar, so uncontrolled. He wanted it to stop.  
  
Heero pulled to a halt, furious with himself. Why couldn't he control the hammering in his chest? Why couldn't he control his body, even something as minimal as his hands? Why couldn't he restrain himself from emotion. from. Duo?  
  
Heero gathered up his rage and fuelled it into a single punch. He opened his eyes upon hearing a violent crack, and watched, fascinated as the tree before him began to topple. He hadn't even known he'd struck.  
  
His eyes followed it until it hit the ground with a dry snap, its branches and dead leaves crumbling beneath it. Heero only looked away when the back of his hand began to sting. Blood beaded on his knuckles, leaving sticky red trails between his fingers. Heero didn't care, he considered it punishment. Punishment for his lack of control.  
  
Yesterday, he had erased every ounce of humanity from his mind, and vowed never to 'feel' again. But then the braided baka had come, shattering Heero's illusions of control over his body, and mind.  
  
Heero focused on his heartbeat, slowing the frantic throb to a soldier's pace. He cast a look at the horizon. The soldiers would arrive soon. He needed to prepare, be ready to ignore all distractions.  
  
Heero glided back towards the cabin. A step before he entered, he stropped, stripping any lingering emotion from his face.  
  
Duo could never learn what he.. That he 'felt'.  
  
Heero stepped across the threshold.  
  
  
  
"Let's have a playfight!" The braided pilot exclaimed, hopping off the lounge.  
  
Trowa stared at Duo, and then ever-so-slightly, raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Come on, Trowa!" Duo whined, curling his hands into loose boxing fists. "It'll be fun!" He shifted eagerly from one foot to another, anticipating Trowa's next answer.  
  
One green eye sparkled.  
  
"So it's a yes!" Duo shouted triumphantly.  
  
"I don't. playfight." Trowa replied, the word sounding foreign on his tongue.  
  
Duo didn't care. "But Trrooooowwwwwaaa!" He whined. "I mean, I'd ask Heero to fight but he'd probably take it way too seriously and just throw me up against a wall and pull his gun on me, I mean, not that I have any complaints about Heero throwing me up against a wall, but the whole gun thing is such a turn off, not that he'd see it that way cause he's probably not gay, but___"  
  
"Duo."  
  
"Mm?"  
  
"You were babbling."  
  
Duo grinned sheepishly. "He he, got a little off track there."  
  
Duo pumped his fists. "So, fight?"  
  
  
  
Heero stepped inside the doorway; suppressing a surge of something Duo might have called. affection? Trowa's hand was holding Duo's face at arm's length as he swung his fists in blind punches, getting nothing but air. He'd seen similar fights between Duo and Wufei.  
  
He walked closer, unnoticed.  
  
"Let's go." He said tonelessly.  
  
Duo gave a startled yelp and fell forward when Trowa let go of his face, and then Heero was there, catching him before he hit the floor.  
  
Duo clung to him, shaking his head to get his bearings. Duo blinked at Heero, but the other boy shoved him back.  
  
Duo half swayed on his feet, still recovering his balance. "Okie dokie Hee- chan."  
  
He wondered if Heero would beat him up for saying Hee-chan, and as Heero approached, Duo cringed a little each step. By the time Heero actually walked past him, Duo had shut both of his eyes, and was in a full whole- hearted wince.  
  
"Duo."  
  
Duo opened his eyes and watched Heero's perfectly sculpt back until it disappeared behind the door. Then, for some incomprehensible reason, his knees liquefied, and he pooled into Trowa's waiting arms. Duo leaned into him, breathing deep, trying hard not to cry.  
  
It was so stupid. With one look, Heero could do this to him, could hurt him so much. He felt like a girl going through PMS. Or maybe some sick, twisted little scientist had made him pregnant, and he was doomed to nine months of bitchiness and mood swings.  
  
Duo grabbed small fistfuls of Trowa's shirt, and buried his face in it. Or maybe it was all bullshit just to help Duo hold back the tears. He was grateful when Trowa didn't speak, simply wrapped his arms around Duo and pulled him against him.  
  
Duo muffled a short sob and felt hot tears run down his cheeks. He began blubbering on Trowa's shirt, but he didn't care. Why couldn't Heero ever be this nice? If Duo ever cried in front of him, Heero would probably just hit him.  
  
Duo started crying again.  
  
  
  
Trowa held Duo, his face expressionless. It wasn't that he didn't care; it was simply that he didn't know how to express emotion. His anger boiled slightly at the hand-shaped reddening on Duo's cheek, but he forced it down until it disappeared.  
  
Poor Duo, Quatre would have said. He probably would have said 'Poor Heero' too. The only thing that could force Quatre over the edge was something as horrible as rape, and even then he'd have to be convinced of it first.  
  
For Duo, his angel had probably donned a mask and smiled, never showing a hint of the pain he still felt. He would blame himself, of course, for Duo being harmed. He blamed himself when anyone was harmed.  
  
He loved Quatre. But it was impossible to believe his 'Little One' still loved him back. He hadn't called him that since three weeks before. He still hugged Quatre, still soothed him when he hurt, still held him when he cried, but things had never been the same.  
  
Trowa closed his eyes.  
  
They'd returned from a mission, cold, hungry and tired. But Quatre, being the impossible little angel that he was, had wanted to tend to Trowa's wounds. Heero, Duo and Wufei had slunk off to their rooms, leaving Quatre and Trowa to battle it out in the lounge. Or rather, Quatre to scold angrily and Trowa to dodge his attempts to capture the injured hand.  
  
"You're just making it worse!" Quatre had reprimanded, his hands on his hips.  
  
Trowa had crept backwards warily. Quatre had been, as usual, exaggerating the injury, it had been aching, but Trowa hadn't been in excruciating pain.  
  
Quatre wouldn't accept it. And amazingly, he had pounced on Trowa, and pushed him down on the couch. Trowa had let himself fold beneath Quatre, not wanting to flip them around and crush the smaller boy.  
  
Quatre's blue eyes had been sparkling a brighter blue than usual, his body exuding radiance that even a stranger would recognize. His skin veritably glowed, and he blinked in that shy, sweet way that made him irresistible.  
  
And then he did something totally unexpected. Quatre had reached out, placed trembling fingertips on the smooth line of Trowa's jaw and leaned forward. Trowa hadn't believed what was happening, and had only closed his eyes when their lips met.  
  
The kiss had been tender, a soft merging of lips that was gentle and timid, so like his blond angel. But Trowa hadn't moved, hadn't been able to move. Then when he'd felt Quatre try to move away, he'd kissed back, his arms pulling Quatre against him.  
  
Passion had seized Quatre in such a rush that the small boy squirmed and moaned in response, his head tilting as he parted his lips, slipping his tongue into the wet warmth of Trowa's mouth. His tongue lingered, unsure, and then Trowa had mingled his with the one he loved.  
  
"Ai shiteru." Quatre had half-moaned, half-gasped, half-whispered. His eyes opened so tenderly, so gently, so utterly vulnerably, that Trowa simply hadn't known how to react. So he'd stopped, frozen.  
  
Quatre had lifted his blond head and asked quietly. "Trowa?" He'd stared at him with such sweet confusion in those round blue eyes, and Trowa had only felt like an intruder. How dare he contaminate such a pure, perfect being?  
  
Trowa had pushed Quatre off him, reversing their positions. He balanced himself on his hands, not wanting their bodies to touch, lest he taint the angel anymore.  
  
"Trowa?"  
  
Trowa had swallowed, his throat dry. "I'm sorry, Little One."  
  
His body ached with need, but he couldn't bear to look at Quatre any longer, for fear that he'd try to kiss him again. Trowa had slid off the couch, and turned his back on Quatre, not even hearing the sound of Quatre breaking into sobs.  
  
Trowa jerked out of his memories as he felt Duo pull away, and he chided himself for forgetting him.  
  
  
  
Duo released Trowa's shirt a little. He wasn't embarrassed. He'd cried with most people, excluding Wufei and Heero. Never Heero. Did the perfect soldier even 'care' for him?  
  
Duo wiped a hand across his eyes and sniffed. "I think he hates me, Trow." He said sadly, his hands stroking his braid for comfort. Duo shut his eyes and released the plait; he didn't need to remember who'd been holding it only moments before.  
  
Trowa lowered Duo gently to the floor as Duo's hands slid loose. Duo slumped once he was sitting, his arms resting on his thighs. "Man, I'm depressed."  
  
Trowa just watched him.  
  
"Why do I keep liking him when he's such a bastard to me, Trowa? He just keeps getting meaner and meaner, but I just can't stop lov__" Duo corrected himself, "I just can't stop liking him."  
  
Duo smiled miserably. "Am I that shit?"  
  
Trowa crouched down from his height, and put a hand on his chin, lifting it. "Duo." He said tonelessly, but not cold. "Heero was trained to be the perfect soldier, but you can change that."  
  
Duo gaped. Trowa had the sense to eye him warily for a moment, before Duo leapt on top of him and knocked him onto his back with a hug. Trowa lifted himself off the floor, seeing Duo grinning like a baka. "Congratulations Trow, you actually said a whole, complete, sentence!  
  
A whole one!" Duo repeated.  
  
Duo thought he saw a twinkle in Trowa's eye, before he slipped out expertly from under Duo, who grinned at the natural acrobat. Duo flipped over onto his back and was about to wail, "help me up," when Trowa offered his hand.  
  
Duo promptly shut his mouth, and grabbed Trowa's hand, growling at the knowing smile - make that knowing curve - on Trowa's lips.  
  
At that moment, something like cold steel interrupted Duo's grin. "What have you been doing?"  
  
Duo made an effort to hide the sudden mixture of emotions he felt then, shame, anger, hurt, desire. He abruptly released Trowa's hand, getting to his feet on his own. He looked up, and instantly regretted it.  
  
God Heero looked good.  
  
He hadn't even noticed, but it had started pouring like hell outside, and Heero was saturated. Duo's eyes travelled up Heero's body, lingering on every drenched part of his perfect physique.  
  
His tank was soaked and stuck to the smooth muscles of his chest, water dripping off the hard planes of his body. The rain had made his silky skin slippery; the lights illuminating muscles Duo hadn't even known existed.  
  
His groin stirred.  
  
Shit! Duo closed his hands into tight fists and bit his lip. "Um, coming!" He squeaked.  
  
Heero nodded at Trowa, who nodded back. Heero turned and the other pilot followed him out, picking up bags by the door as he passed. A moment later, Trowa popped his head back in. His eyes lingered on Duo, who was standing in the middle of the room with his hands in little fists and his eyes clenched shut.  
  
"Duo?"  
  
Duo released his pent-up breath, praying that his reaction wasn't on display. A light blush reached his cheeks and he grinned, calling in a too- merry voice, "coming Trow!"  
  
Trowa nodded, and Duo sagged with relief, letting out a small sigh. He concentrated on anything but Heero as he walked out the door, not even feeling the rain.  
  
  
  
Heero watched Duo head toward where Deathscythe was hidden. It had been foolish to bring the Gundam, but put into consideration, how many times Duo's inconvenient arrivals had saved the pilots, and an ordinary person might have granted him leniency.  
  
Heero wasn't ordinary. He wasn't even human, and he was determined to keep it that way. As long as Duo piloted the Gundam so that it was unseen, it would not jeopardize the mission. Duo had landed it outside of the search area, which meant he wouldn't have to self-destruct the Deathscythe.  
  
Heero automatically reached for his handgun when Trowa turned to say something. "Where are we going?" His fingers relaxed.  
  
"South. Duo will return with the Gundam. Our mission will be delayed one day, but we will use it for reconnaissance."  
  
Trowa nodded, and kept moving.  
  
  
  
Duo flipped his long braid behind his shoulders and turned around to say something, when he realised no one was there. "What the_?" Duo asked the forest, doing a little perspective spin.  
  
Sure it wasn't like he'd actually said a word to the other two, but somehow, he'd decided that Heero and Trowa were right behind him. Duo brushed his hair back from his face. "Aw crap."  
  
  
  
"Heeeeeeeeee-rrrrooooooo!"  
  
Heero spun, killing about half the world's vegetation in the process.  
  
"Heeeeeeeeee-rrrrooooooo!"  
  
Trowa turned slightly, and had he been any normal person, would have fallen over when Heero tore past him.  
  
Quickly regaining any lost balance, Trowa followed suit, losing sight of the boy, but sticking to the trail of flattened plant life.  
  
  
  
"Heeeeeeeee-rrrrooooooo!" Duo called again, cupping his hands around his mouth. They couldn't have left already could they? Duo didn't even know where to meet them.  
  
"Heeeeeeee-rrrroooooooo!" Duo giggled, he sounded like Relena. He almost added, 'come and kill me,' and then thought better of it.  
  
Duo prepared to call him again and opened his mouth, when something dashed out of the bush so fast Duo only felt the impact as Heero slammed into him, driving him into the dirt.  
  
  
  
While Duo recovered from the ache in his back, Heero was feeling something quite different. It came so unexpected, like liquid fire shooting through his veins. Duo's body, so different, more slender, smoother and yet muscled all the same.  
  
Duo laid stock still beneath him, his eyes popping open. Why? Why wasn't the baka squirming to get free? Heero's eyes were glazed, his breath faster than usual, almost matching the short panting of Duo. His braid was squashed beneath him, coming apart.  
  
Heero had to touch him, he had too. He had too see Duo close his eyes and moan as if in ecstasy, shudder at the mere contact of skin. Heero ran a finger up Duo's arm, feeling the boy shiver wonderfully.  
  
He wanted to thread his fingers through Duo's hair, separate that restricted braid and see him crowned by a chestnut halo. He reached for Duo's plait, but Duo stopped him, holding Heero's wrist. "Not the hair, Hee- chan." He pleaded.  
  
Heero broke free of the boy's grasp easily, lifting the braid in his hand and gently sliding the band off its end. Heero slid his thigh down Duo's response, feeling the boy arch and moan against him, "Heero." He gasped.  
  
Heero watched Duo, feeding off his pleasure. He rested the silken strands of Duo's hair in his palm, watching them slide off, running his free hand beneath Duo's shirt, and down the smooth skin of his chest.  
  
He tried to force away the soldier in the back of his mind screamed at him to stop. 'Don't lose control, Heero, keep your mind focused.'  
  
'Lose control and the mission fails, you die, Heero."  
  
Pain. 'I told you not to lose control.' Pain. 'Do you see what it brought you?'  
  
Agony. 'Without the mission, you are nothing. Nothing. You're a soldier Heero, DON'T LOSE CONTROL.'  
  
Heero fell back into soldier mode. His senses became alert, his thoughts entirely rational, and his eyes grew cold. 'Don't lose control' the voices echoed. Moving so mechanical that he appeared inhuman, Heero began lightly wrapping a hand around Duo's wrist.  
  
  
  
Duo whimpered when he felt Heero rise off him. He grabbed blindly at the other boy, but Heero caught his wrists in a loose grip.  
  
Duo sensed rather than felt the subtle change. His eyes flung wide open, and the hand on his wrists tightened with bruising force. Duo squirmed, "Hee-chan?"  
  
He met Heero's eyes and suddenly, all the desire, all the need, seemed to rush out of his system.  
  
Heero was going to kill him.  
  
  
  
Heero stared at Duo's pale, wide-eyed face. He hadn't even remembered removing his gun and aiming it, but the situation compromised his intention. He flicked the safety off, watching Duo's growing fear.  
  
He'd promised Duo that he'd kill him a thousand times before. Empty threats in comparison to what he felt now. Duo was a danger, a hazard to the mission. He had the ability to influence Heero's actions.  
  
It must end now.  
  
  
  
Heero's eyes were glassy and cold, the situation almost surreal. Heero couldn't kill him, could he? Not a Gundam pilot? Not someone who'd tried to be his friend.?  
  
God, if only he could move his hands. He tried, but Heero's grip only constricted, making Duo release an involuntary whimper.  
  
Heero's face was impassive to the pain he caused, the barrel of his gun resting between Duo's eyes.  
  
"Omae o korosu, Duo." He said softly, looking into them.  
  
The sound of the gunshot rang through the forest.  
  
  
  
Duo inched open an eye and sat up, startled by another gunshot. Heero spun, one hand clutching his shoulder, the other levelling his handgun. Expression vanished from his face when he saw Quatre.  
  
"Don't you dare shoot, Heero." Wufei growled, stepping out from behind the other boy, his own handgun poised. They were at a standoff. "Quatre may have quirks about peppering your body with bullet holes, but I don't."  
  
Ah, Wufei had shot him, that made more sense.  
  
"Heero," Quatre said, slightly bewildered. "You were really going to kill him this time, weren't you?" Tears filled the corners of his eyes, "but I felt your pain before. I did."  
  
Blood seeped through Heero's fingers; running down his arm. Duo wasn't even listening to the dialogue between the other three pilots. Something teased at his memory, and he struggled to catch the tail of it.  
  
"Shut up," Wufei told Quatre. "Duo came here to help you, Heero." Wufei spat. "Though why he would, I can't fathom. Unless you lured him here__"  
  
"Why else." Heero lied. He wanted them to hate him.  
  
Wufei's face flushed burgundy as he unleashed a violent snarl and charged at Heero, forgetting about his handgun. The harsh sound brought Duo back as he watched, knowing Heero couldn't fight in his condition. Hell, he shouldn't be able to stand.  
  
At the last moment before impact, Heero sidestepped Wufei, and smashed a fist into the boy's back, forcing Wufei into a forward stagger and into the undergrowth.  
  
Suddenly, Duo scrambled to his feet, his eyes growing large.  
  
Wufei whipped his head around, his eyes filled with hatred. He hissed at the mark on Duo's face, "What, he didn't want you back?"  
  
"Guys." Duo mumbled, peering around the group at the rustling forest behind them.  
  
The chinese boy fixed his gaze on Heero, challenging him.  
  
"Uh, Wufei."  
  
"Shut up Duo, don't you dare defend him."  
  
Duo bit his lip and pointed at the figures darting around inside the bushes. "They're coming."  
  
A series of gunshots rang out in the air, and Quatre jumped. Everyone turned around, and then Quatre asked tentatively, "Where's Trowa?"  
  
Duo didn't move his hand, "in there."  
  
Quatre's eyes grew huge. "TROWA!"  
  
He broke into a run, but Wufei caught him around the waist. "Baka. Stop. You'll get yourself killed."  
  
Wufei held fast to Quatre and pulled him down the floor. He tried to wrap his arms around the smaller boy, but Quatre was fighting to get free.  
  
"Noo! Wufei let me go!" He wailed, flailing his limbs in every which way.  
  
"Let me goooooooooo! I love him and he doesn't know! He doesn't know that I love him, and that I've always loved him, and that I'll always love him even if he never loves me back." Quatre broke into sobs, collapsing limply in Wufei's arms.  
  
When Wufei felt the sobs die, he loosened his arms a little.  
  
He cursed when Quatre scrambled up. Wufei grabbed his ankle and dragged him back down, but Quatre yanked his foot out of his grasp.  
  
"Quatre!" Wufei called. Quatre rushed into the bush. Wufei growled an annoyed, "shit!" and ripped after him.  
  
"Fuck!" Duo snapped, preparing to follow. He tried to run, but something snagged his braid and yanked him back.  
  
"Itaiiii!"  
  
"They're gone. We're leaving." Heero said, dragging him back.  
  
Duo struggled against his grasp, not caring that it hurt like hell. "Let go of me Heero I'm going to help them!"  
  
Heero grabbed his flailing arm and spun Duo around so that he faced him. Then Heero grabbed Duo's arm and mercilessly twisted it behind his back. Duo whimpered and fell against him. "We're leaving." He repeated emotionlessly.  
  
"No Heero." Duo shook his head wildly, his violet eyes filling with tears.  
  
Heero whisked out his gun and fired at the stirring bushes. Duo heard strangled screams as soldiers fell. Heero flung Duo ahead of him, still firing. "Go." He ordered.  
  
Duo looked back, his vision blurring. No. He couldn't leave Quatre and Trowa and Wufei. He couldn't leave them all there to die. Something rammed him between the shoulder blades, sending him staggering forward.  
  
"Go!" Heero shouted.  
  
Duo shook his head.  
  
Heero seized Duo by the wrist and hauled him into a sprint. Duo pulled against it, but Heero was practically lifting him off his feet with one arm. They sped through acres of forest and underbrush, Heero never tiring.  
  
Duo felt surprisingly numb, emotion didn't touch him. Was this what Heero felt? He wondered.  
  
  
  
Duo sat, cross-legged on the end of his bed. Heero leaned against the opposite bed's headboard, typing on his laptop. The last thing he remembered really was being dragged into the forest after Quatre, Trowa and Wufei had disappeared, and then everything had gone black. Which meant, Duo had gone hysterical, and Heero had knocked him out.  
  
Had Duo been in the mood, it would have been the ideal time to perve on his fantasy. But he still felt numb. Even watching Heero pry a bullet from his wound hadn't grossed Duo out. Duo absently reached for his braid, playing with the split ends, brushing the hair along his palm.  
  
He watched Heero; there wasn't even a frown on the boy's face. You'd think it would be creased in concentration, but his face was. expressionless. Duo marvelled at the ability. He'd never been able to hide his emotions.  
  
Duo bit his lip. Oh yeah, he was the Master at emotion hiding. Why couldn't he be like Heero, who'd been ready to kill him, who would have killed him except that Quatre and Wufei had arrived?  
  
Well maybe not.  
  
Duo balked guiltily. What was he doing here, talking to himself about the relationship between him and Heero, when all three of the others could be sitting in a cell, waiting to die?  
  
Duo tensed when he saw Heero stop, his fingers freezing over the laptop keys. Duo imagined a pair of fuzzy ears on Heero's head, pricking at the slightest sound, like a big fuzzy cat. He almost mustered a smile at the image. Yeah right. Heero, a big fuzzy cat.  
  
Heero slid his gun out of his spandex, and flicked off the safety. He slipped off the bed soundlessly, stalking silently toward the door. Duo swayed, hypnotized by the way that Heero moved. His steps were executed with perfect, panther grace, and that was sensuous, beautiful and deadly all at the same time.  
  
Heero motioned with a flexed hand for Duo not to move. That was dandy, he hadn't been planning on moving anyway. "What is it?" He whispered.  
  
A flash of annoyance passed on Heero's face, and Duo hastily shut his overlarge mouth. Heero clutched the gun in his hands and stood so that when the door opened, he would have what they had called, the best 'killing point'.  
  
Holding the gun close and low, Heero waited silently.  
  
Three pairs of feet thundered in at the same time Heero poised to aim and destroy. The blonde, blue-eyed pilot swept back his long lashes and said softly, "Heero."  
  
The he closed his eyes and his chin dropped. His arms dangled around Wufei and Trowa's shoulders loosely as they lifted him inside.  
  
Duo slapped a hand across his mouth. "God - Quatre!" He cried, jumping off the bed and scampering to the blonde pilot's side.  
  
The pilot was too far-gone to notice, but Duo fawned over him anyway. He laid a supporting hand on Quatre's waist, asking, "What happened?" He bit his lip when he pulled his hand away, wet with blood.  
  
"He was shot." Wufei growled.  
  
Trowa's face displayed no signs of distress, but Duo knew better. Behind the mask of smooth impassivity, Trowa was probably screaming. Duo would have been if it were Heero.  
  
"I'll take him." Trowa murmured, cradling Quatre in his arms.  
  
Heero still stood by the door analysing the situation.  
  
Trowa gently lowered Quatre's limp body onto the sheets, and smoothed the slight crease in his forehead. Trowa stroked the bangs from his face affectionately, his eyes seemingly unable to leave the fallen angel.  
  
Duo tore his eyes away from the heartbreaking scene, and ran to Heero, latching onto his arm. "You have to help him, Heero!"  
  
Wufei snarled, "it's the least you can do."  
  
"No."  
  
Wufei spun, "what the hell do you mean, 'no'?" the same time Duo contributed, "what?!  
  
From where Trowa sat beside Quatre, he spoke softly. "He can't." His movements were slightly mechanical. Stroke. Stroke.  
  
All eyes turned to Trowa, but Heero still spoke, his voice utterly emotionless. All around Duo, the air felt thick, as though in anticipation of what Heero would say.  
  
"It wasn't a bullet. Quatre has a 40 percent chance of living."  
  
The End of Chapter Four  
  
I know what ure saying, gee it's just a TAD long. And okay so I got a little sidetracked, I know it's soo not what the story orgianlly was, but like I sed, I write it as it comes.  
  
So yeps, I will change the description.  
  
Chowies (  
  
Pweease review and recommend  
  
(tankooz 2 all of u guys who haf! I luv u alllllll!) I know it's really quite sad but I live for ure reviews!!! 


	5. lots of 1x2, duos forgotten? Heero's got...

1x2 almost lemon, 3x4 teeny bit, occasional swearing, wufei weirdness  
  
This is gonna sound like complete bull, but hey, its not like u guys actually care why its umm 2 weeks late, but im saying anyway. Tripped on the cables and basically yanked out the pieces, heh heh heh, smart I know.  
  
But neway, the plots like not much right now. Just duo/hee-chan getting together. But I have a plot yknow, there r teeeeeenny hints in this chap of it.  
  
Ooo and thanks to reviewers!!!  
  
Tadaa.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Five  
  
Duo clambered noisily down the stairs, clad in nothing but his boxers, with his braid swinging generously behind him. His eyes were only discernible as tiny slits, narrowing his vision to about five percent of the stairway, which was probably why he missed the fact that it bared no railing.  
  
He closed his eyes tight and yawned drowsily. He opened them, only given a moment's warning before he smacked straight into a pole. Duo sneezed and staggered back, shaking his head to clear it. Then he tramped around the pole, and continued walking.  
  
"Mornin' Wuffie," Duo greeted cheerfully.  
  
Wufei growled something about if Duo touched him he'd kick his ass. Duo plopped down next to him and draped an arm around Wufei's shoulders, waiting for his fav spar-partner to get extra feisty.  
  
He was about to toy with Wufei's cute black ponytail, when something jarred his memory. "Hey Wu-man?"  
  
Wufei ignored him, but Duo continued anyway. "Why is there a pole in the stairway?"  
  
"In case Yuy returns." Wufei responded neutrally, but Duo didn't miss the undertone of venom.  
  
Duo 'eeped', maybe he could prevent a fistfight if he acted prudently. Unthinking, Duo snatched a piece of Wufei's breakfast and popped it in his mouth before the chinese boy could stop him.  
  
He grinned at Wufei's glare, his cheeks bulging, and gulped the portion down in mid-choke.  
  
"Where'd he go?" Duo asked casually, rubbing his throat.  
  
"To finish the mission."  
  
Duo eyed the plate, and grabbed another piece of food. He retracted back to his seat and sat there, chewing this time. Duo gulped dangerously when he remembered why Wufei harboured hatred for the Perfect Soldier. He had to straighten things out before Wufei... hit Heero with a pole? Weird.  
  
"Umm, Wufei, about Heero." Duo squirmed awkwardly in his chair. Wufei's eyes always had that effect on him. "You see, that night, when uh..."  
  
"When Yuy was raping you?"  
  
"Yeap - that one." Duo shrunk instinctively into his chair, his fingers automatically reached for his scraggly braid. "Ya see," he began.  
  
"Heero kinda..." Duo bit his lip and muttered, "Wasn't..."  
  
Duo clenched his eyes shut, fully expecting Wufei's fist.  
  
"Baka, open your eyes." Wufei responded, sounding slightly amused.  
  
Duo didn't trust him; Wufei probably just wanted to blind, as well as bruise him. He heard Wufei resume eating. Duo didn't move, listening to the clink-clink of cutlery to plate. Duo stayed like that for five minutes, before Wufei gave an exaggerated sigh and revealed.  
  
"Duo, I already knew."  
  
Duo opened one wary violet eye. "You did?"  
  
"Yes." Before Duo could form the question, Wufei answered, "Trowa explained."  
  
"So you won't hit me?" Duo squeaked hopefully.  
  
"Maybe later."  
  
Duo glanced at the staircase and scratched his head. "Well if you don't want to bash Yuy___ I mean Heero," he hastily amended, "why the pole?"  
  
Wufei just stared at him. He turned back to his food and began eating again, ignoring the other.  
  
"Wuffie?" Duo questioned.  
  
Wufei stopped in mid-chew, swallowed gracefully and turned to look at the baka beside him. "You know, sometimes I think it's impossible for you to be anymore foolish, but you've really outdone yourself this time."  
  
Duo just grinned; he knew Wufei didn't mean it. There were lots of occasions where he'd been more foolish, he was positive.  
  
He watched Wufei expectantly, and sure enough, the pilot gave an exasperated sigh. "Tell me, if Heero was to attack you with his gun, would you use a pole as your defence?"  
  
Duo puckered his face in concentration. "Umm..."  
  
Wufei stared at him for a moment, and then turned back to his food.  
  
"Is the pole long?"  
  
"Yes Duo, it's about as long as that staircase."  
  
"Can I lift it?"  
  
"Not with your scrawny arms you couldn't."  
  
"Hey! - Well is the pole__"  
  
Wufei stood up suddenly, the chair legs grating the tile raucously. "I'm going upstairs..."  
  
The chinese boy abandoned his food and glided swiftly toward the kitchen door.  
  
"Wait Wuffie!" Duo called.  
  
Wufei pulled to a halt.  
  
"Is the pole__"  
  
"BAHHH!" He growled, and disappeared through the door.  
  
Duo stared after him, "Weird," he said after a while. Duo shrugged and started eating Wufei's food.  
  
  
  
Trowa bent over his love's body. The windows were shuttered, and the room was bare. Quatre's condition allowed only minimal light, deepening the room's sombre tone.  
  
He gently cooed soft words to Quatre, words he'd never dare speak if the boy were awake. His hand subconsciously stroked - always stroked - Quatre's brow, marvelling that, even in this monochrome glow, he still looked beautiful.  
  
Heero was right. The drug was designed to kill, or permanently scar the mind, but he and the pilots had provided what remedy they could. Quatre's chance at life was 40 percent, and full recovery was only 20.  
  
Right now, his love laid in oblivion, but personal experience had taught Trowa that the mental ambush was simply biding its time. Everything Quatre had ever harmed was going to call in the debt. He was going to have to live the pain and death of every man he had killed, over, and over again.  
  
Trowa bowed his head and planted a soft kiss on Quatre's temple.  
  
The image of Quatre taking the bullet for him still played across his closed lids and every time, though he knew he could do nothing, he tried to stop it.  
  
Trowa opened his eyes and rose up, brushing a lock from his love's cheek. He murmured so softly that even he could barely hear. "Not for me, Little One. Not for me."  
  
  
  
Wufei watched for a long minute, and then gently shut the door. Trowa was simply too consumed with grief to care that his ministrations were on display. Usually, Wufei cared little for sentiments, considered them, like Yuy, dangerous.  
  
His eyes strayed to the door. Shit happens.  
  
Out of the blue, Wufei remembered Yuy and cringed. He was a constant guilt ghost reminding Wufei that it was impossible to take back much of what he'd said. Honour demanded that he apologize and accept Yuy's reaction without resistance. Considering that Wufei had also shot Yuy, it probably wouldn't be very pleasurable.  
  
Wufei presumed that Heero would either kill him, or beat him within an hour of his life. He thought about what he'd shouted. "You disgust me, to think I respected you once."  
  
Fair enough.  
  
Wufei growled. Fuck, in the past guilt wouldn't have eaten at him like this, but the other pilots had. softened him. Wufei hated being soft. Hated being weak!  
  
He snarled, but stopped himself before he turned his fists on the wall. It was a method used by weaklings to release bottled rage. He was NOT a weakling. Gritting his teeth, he settled on meditation. If Yuy planned to belittle him, he'd take it in a tranquil state.  
  
Having made his decision, Wufei set off down the hall, already cleansing his thoughts. A loud, whiney, "Itaiii!" coming from below interrupted his ritual. Wufei scowl-smiled, "stupid baka." Wufei said under his breath.  
  
A frown creased on Wufei's forehead. Duo had been subject to emotional trauma, and as a result, his mind had repressed Quatre and Trowa, forgotten them completely, actually.  
  
For a moment Wufei contemplated telling Duo, and eventually shook his head. No. Better to leave Duo to accept things in his own time.  
  
He stepped inside the room and closed the door.  
  
  
  
Duo stuffed a tea towel in his mouth to muffle his lengthy cries of, "Iiitttttttaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!"  
  
He hopped around the kitchen frantically on one leg, clutching his foot in his left hand and trying to hold back tears. "Owowowowowow..."  
  
He was staggering so wildly he smacked his throbbing left hand into the table. Duo whimpered loudly. "Owwwwwwww..."  
  
He'd been standing there innocently, pouring mildly hot water - at least it had seemed mild at the time - into a cup and had managed to splash about a gallon on his left hand. At which point, he'd pulled back, and cleverly smacked his hand into the cup, knocking the whole lot on his all too naked foot.  
  
"Itttaaaaiiiiii..." He whined miserably, the fabric still gagging the sound.  
  
He was still nursing his hand and foot when the door swung open.  
  
Duo raised his head expectantly, and peeked around the corner. Instantly, his jaw dropped. The Japanese boy stood in the doorway as if awaiting invitation; wet, tousled and shirtless.  
  
He was clad only in the tight spandex Duo recognized as a trademark, the whereabouts of the tank Duo begrudged, a mystery. Not that it bothered him. Duo was practically drooling. Heero's perfectly sculpt body was on display, and Duo was not even allowed to lay a hand on it.  
  
  
  
Duo suppressed a soft moan of admiration.  
  
He watched Heero walk in a few steps, his gun hanging loosely at his side. Perhaps as an afterthought, he halted and slid the handgun back into the forbidden realms of his spandex. As Heero did this, Duo was able to quickly appreciate the back view of Heero's body.  
  
Duo vaguely wondered if his tongue was lolling, but was too caught up in Heero's next movements to actually care. Knowing Heero wouldn't talk to him unless he spoke first, Duo snapped out of his trance.  
  
Duo swung his legs across the kitchen counter and jumped down, ignoring the constant throbbing in his injuries.  
  
Heero ignored Duo too, until Duo glomped onto Heero's back and clung to him like an oversized leech. "Hee-chan!!"  
  
Heero spun and slammed his hand into Duo's chest, sending him flying back into the counter. "Don't touch me." He said flatly.  
  
Duo watched dazedly as Heero walked past and climbed the stairs to their room.  
  
Duo was stung. Just a little. It wasn't like he'd expected Heero to hug him back and say, "I missed you Duo!" But he'd been a little harsh, hadn't he? Duo hadn't even gotten a "Hn."  
  
Duo shook himself out, then called to Heero's back, "Whatcha gonna do, Heero?"  
  
"Shower." Came the mechanical reply.  
  
Mind if I join you? He almost added the question, but Heero was already out of hearing distance. Too bad, Heero, he told him telepathically, you're missing out on a lot.  
  
Duo sighed. He'd probably sport another handprint on his chest to go along with the ones on his wrists and face. Oh well, maybe he could pretend they were marks of possession, that he belonged to Heero. Like the way dogs pissed on trees to mark their territory.  
  
Duo shook himself off. Maybe not.  
  
He got sluggishly to his feet, favouring his back, which had been slammed one too many times in the past week. Come to think of it, more than usual.  
  
Sure, the Perfect Soldier was a bit testy, and sometimes threatened to beat the shit out of you if you annoyed him beyond his usual tolerance. But he'd never deliberately hurt Duo, quite this much.  
  
Suddenly, Wufei appeared before him. Duo yelped in surprise and jumped back against the wall again. He was miffed when Wufei smirked satisfactorily, you'd think a person wouldn't want to be so damned ugly it scared people.  
  
Duo sighed, apologizing mentally, 'Don't worry, you're not ugly.'  
  
Wufei raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Aw crap did I say that out loud?" Duo cringed, his fingers twining his braid.  
  
Wufei sort of glared at him in an uncertain way that told Duo he didn't know if he was supposed to be angry or not.  
  
"I don't feel like fighting, Wu-man."  
  
Wufei gave up all attempts to glare. He paused. "Is Yuy back?"  
  
"Yup," Duo chirped, too busy concentrating on sounding cheerful to wonder why Wufei would ask. "He went upstairs."  
  
"Good."  
  
Duo waited, but Wufei said nothing more. He seemed to be lingering, which was odd, seeing as in the past, he hadn't ever endured Duo's presence more than was forced. Though now, it appeared he was reluctant to leave.  
  
I must be hallucinating.  
  
Typical of Duo, he spoke to what he thought was an illusion, anyway. "Something on your mind?" He inquired.  
  
Surprisingly, Wufei made the effort to reply. "You're vacuous, annoying, and often act retarded."  
  
Duo was about to quip something back, but Wufei continued. "But people love you for it." Duo could hear the almost gentle tone, and he stood stock-still disbelievingly.  
  
Wufei turned and fled.  
  
Duo gaped, and just sort of gawked at Wufei's back until he darted around the corner. That was the closest thing to a compliment that Wufei had ever delivered. And to Duo of all people.  
  
  
  
"What was that?" Duo asked the wall.  
  
Unremarkably, all thoughts of Wufei vanished when Heero jumped into the kitchen. Jumped in, as in, Heero fully neglected the stairs, and leapt the whole story, landing in a perfect crouch. Duo watched him, rippling muscles and all as he rose sensually, exuding the usual sex appeal.  
  
Too bad Heero was sexiest when he wanted to kill something. Something twitched in the corner of Duo's eye, and he turned to watch Wufei dive down after Heero, though from a lesser height.  
  
Heero barely spared him a glance, but Wufei's focus was utterly zeroed in on Heero alone. Duo wondered idly if he should fetch the pole. Its true function still eluded him.  
  
Suddenly, completely out of the blue, Wufei fell to one knee on the tiles, bowing his head. Duo choked and he actually thought his eyes would pop out of his head. Wufei paying deference to Heero? That was more impossible than the idea of Heero paying deference to him.  
  
Well actually, no it wasn't.  
  
Duo continued to watch, fascinated as Wufei drew his sword, and held it so that it's razor point faced himself. What the hell?  
  
Heero turned around, equally expressionless.  
  
Wufei's voice was devoid of feeling. "I wronged you yesterday."  
  
Duo's head swam.  
  
Heero coldly analysed the kneeling Chinese before him. He reached out and grasped the sword by its hilt. "Hn."  
  
"Noooo!" Duo attempted a fast lumber, and upon failing that, settled for hopping into the kitchen. He staggered to a halt before the two boys. "Don't kill him Heero!"  
  
Heero rammed him aside with one arm.  
  
"I attempted to kill you."  
  
Duo's adrenaline flared as tensed and prepared to block Heero's strike. He stopped in mid head-butt when Heero handed the sword back, hilt-first.  
  
"You're pardoned." He said coldly.  
  
Wufei rose up and in one deft movement, slid his sword into its scabbard and swept out of the kitchen.  
  
  
  
Heero seated himself at the table and opened his laptop.  
  
"Wha?" Duo asked.  
  
Heero ignored him, his fingers skittering speedily across the keys.  
  
"Heero?"  
  
Click-click.  
  
"Hee-chan?" Duo tried again.  
  
"Hn."  
  
"Why didn't you kick his ass?"  
  
"Hn."  
  
"Eh?"  
  
"Hn."  
  
Duo sighed and sulked, he hated being ignored. "I see."  
  
Rocking forward, he whacked both hands down on the table unintentionally loud. Duo winced and braced himself for the Glare of Doom, but surprisingly, the Perfect Soldier didn't look up.  
  
Grateful to be alive, Duo grinned.  
  
Then something snatched up his hand and pulled it, along with Duo close. Duo yelped and clung to Heero's shoulder.  
  
"Eep!" He yelped again and jumped back. Call it self-preservation.  
  
"What happened?" Heero asked emotionlessly.  
  
Heero watched Duo, becoming very aware of their close proximity, even at this distance. In fact, the slight brush of Duo's braid was doing his groin no favours. He silently willed himself to release Duo, but his body rebelled.  
  
Duo trembled a bit, albeit Heero's grasp was gentle. He looked down at their hands, his was slightly smaller, and the back of it was mottled red.  
  
"I kinda spilt boiling water on it."  
  
Heero stood. "Baka."  
  
Duo would have willingly agreed, but before he could open his mouth, Heero yanked him closer. Duo stumbled forward and tensed every muscle in his body to stop himself from falling against Heero.  
  
It didn't help that Heero, not letting go of Duo's hand, began to step past. Duo twitched his hips out of the way so Heero wouldn't brush him below the waist, and as a result, was dragged alongside Heero in a very awkward position.  
  
Upon reaching the kitchen sink, Heero swung him sharply to the right. Duo practically spun right around he was moving so fast, but a firm, soft hand caught his side to steady him.  
  
Duo shuddered at the unexpected touch. He closed his eyes, wanting to relish every second that Heero's hand touched his bare skin. But seconds later, Heero's hand still had not moved.  
  
What the...? Duo felt Heero's hand lift his.  
  
"Move." A cool voice said.  
  
Duo looked around Move? Heero's left arm blocked the left path, his right hand held Duo from the right, and the kitchen sink obstructed the front. There was only one way to go.  
  
The sudden weakness flooding his body drained his voice of its usual sass. "Sure, okay, but where?"  
  
When Heero's hand slid smoothly around to Duo's stomach, Duo clamped his teeth down on his lower lip promptly.  
  
"Back." Heero said dispassionately.  
  
His hand guided Duo back gently, but Duo stumbled until the press of Heero's body against his stopped him. Mostly, all he could feel was Heero's tank - damn that top - but where their skin contacted.  
  
Heero pulled Duo's hand over to the sink. He let go, but his right hand was still nestled on Duo's abdomen.  
  
Duo scrutinised every single movement suspiciously. Even as Heero twirled the coldwater tap, Duo was waiting for some kind of trick.  
  
"Yeeow!" Cold water gushed against the burn. He spun instinctively, but Heero's hands shot out and held Duo in place as the boy whimpered.  
  
"This is the standard prelude to healing a burn. Stay still."  
  
Duo whimpered and whined, even though it didn't hurt anymore. He pulled desperately, trying to twist out of Heero's hands, but they were fixed. Heero's whole, 'I can touch you, but you can't touch me' thing, was becoming unbearable.  
  
He looked at Heero with big, puppydog eyes, but Heero just stared at him. Duo mewed.  
  
"Shut up, it doesn't hurt."  
  
"It does tooo!"  
  
He whined and pleaded with Heero a bit more, even though Heero was - as usual - ignoring him. Finally Duo sagged miserably, letting the cool water flow over his burn.  
  
Duo closed his eyes and sulked. The burn wasn't actually that serious, not half as serious as the bruises on his back and chest.  
  
Suddenly, the hand on Duo's abdomen slipped a little lower. He swore his eyes made a 'whoosh!' sound as they opened, and Duo stiffened.  
  
Duo gulped, trying to relax. Heero probably hadn't done it on purpose. Wasn't aware that Duo's body was fitted against his, that his hands were___  
  
"What do you care anyway?" Duo asked a bit more frantically than he'd intended.  
  
"The faster you heal the less inconvenience you cause."  
  
Typical Yuy talk, Duo sighed. He leaned back against Heero, enjoying the feel of warm steel against his own body. It wasn't like he got a chance like this very often.  
  
A full minute passed, and Duo almost began to drift off. Then Heero's hand dropped a full inch. Duo stifled a yelp and his head shot up. "Uh... Heero is it finished?"  
  
"No."  
  
Duo closed his eyes and quivered as Heero's fingertips slid just underneath the band of his boxers. His legs were shaking slightly, and his head had nestled itself into the crook of Heero's neck.  
  
Heero's hand slid deeper. That was it. Duo couldn't take it; he gave a soft moan as he lost all ability to stand.  
  
Heero was practically holding his entire weight when Heero's voice broke through. "It's done."  
  
Duo whimpered as cold air rushed up his skin. Heero's gentle, firm hands left his skin, and so did his body. Duo would have crumpled right then and there were it not for the counter in front to support him.  
  
Duo latched onto the edge like his life depended on it. He was desperate; he wouldn't give Heero the satisfaction of watching him fail.  
  
"Thanks, Hee-chan." Duo chirped, unable to resist raking Heero with his eyes as he talked.  
  
God, even a cold shower wouldn't cure this one. Ice, then?  
  
"Hn."  
  
Heero walked towards him, face unreadable. Duo squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, willing himself to focus.  
  
Heero was still there when he looked again, only closer. Duo started, nearly falling backwards. As usual, the ever faithful kitchen counter prevented a bruised ass.  
  
"Nani?" Duo asked meekly.  
  
Heero's emotionless gaze fixed on his hands. Duo's heart began to race as it slid up his body to his face, and then down Duo's chest. He stood rigid under the scrutiny, and bit his lip when Heero's eyes travelled down further. They fastened on what Duo had forgotten to hide.  
  
Light colour shaded his cheeks. Damn his male anatomy.  
  
When Heero took a step forward, Duo recoiled like a cat, ready to split. His violet eyes widened and shone with an almost girlish quality. Duo had used that look on plenty as a street kid, though now, he could have used his balls.  
  
He's probably going to kill me, Duo thought, hypnotized as Heero advanced. He moved like a cat stalking prey.  
  
Oh shit! Even if he bolted now Heero would probably just stick out an arm and knock him over. Not that it mattered. Duo was rooted to the spot, and those large impassive eyes were sucking all thought from him.  
  
Duo blinked. He started. Heero was now standing so close Duo wouldn't have been surprised if Heero could hear his heart beat.  
  
"Hee-chan?" Duo asked weakly.  
  
A moment passed, and then Heero's hand brushed past his groin. Oh Gods. A small whimper escaped his throat, and Heero's lightning-fast hands caught him before he hit the floor.  
  
Was this the prelude to his death? Toy with Duo's head and body, and then shoot him for liking it. Duo ducked his head and trembled, damn Heero for being so beautiful.  
  
Heero leaned forward and rested one hand on the counter beside Duo. The braided boy sucked in a breath as Heero's other hand slithered around his waist.  
  
Duo tried to speak, but it took two tries before his voice worked.  
  
"I..." Duo shuddered. The hand whispered up wonderfully and started running down from his jaw.  
  
"I... I've got to go wash my hair!" Duo blurted.  
  
He ducked under Heero's arm and fled for the stairs.  
  
Cold shower, cold shower, cold shower, cold shower.  
  
  
  
Heero watched Duo dash away, his braid flying out behind him. He briefly considered following him, but his laptop bleeped.  
  
Heero cut through his hazy pleasure and turned toward his laptop, satisfied that despite the. distractions, his performance as a soldier remained unimpaired.  
  
In truth, Heero's heart was fluctuating wildly between losing and keeping control. He looked toward the staircase. His body begged for release, and the only way he was resisting following Duo up the stairs was his own personal resolve that the baka meant nothing to him. Not that he'd ever admit that.  
  
He directed his gaze back to his laptop. As usual, a mail icon popped up soundlessly in the corner of his screen, arriving the same time as it had been for the past week. Its appearance only served to push him further into the perfect soldier, and Heero wrote back his confirmation and deleted the message.  
  
His fingers ached as he typed. His hands were cramped and rigid from various machine guns and rifles, and they'd been scraped raw on the rock climb back. He sported a fresh stab wound in his right shoulder, which he'd already tended to.  
  
As a temporary solution, he'd torn his shirt into strips and wrapped them around the gash to stop profuse bleeding. It was surprising the Baka hadn't noticed, probably too distracted.  
  
Heero gave his inbox a brief scan and then shut the lid on his laptop, preparing to head upstairs. Out of the corner of his eye he spied the first-aid box, but dismissed it almost immediately. The makeshift bandages would suffice for now.  
  
He stood up, laptop under his right arm. Pivoting around, he walked toward the flight of steps that led to the five boy's bedrooms.  
  
When Heero reached the base of the stairs, and faltered.  
  
He clenched his teeth and began climbing up. Doctor J had warned him of emotional attachment, concerned especially that it would interfere with the coming mission. Heero had reassured him that it would not.  
  
Now he was not so sure. His defuse to force back the others, had failed. The moment Heero had stepped in the door and Wufei hadn't attacked him, he'd known Wufei had been informed of his mistake. The opportunity to strike back for Wufei's error had been very unexpected.  
  
  
  
It was likely Trowa was the informant. His injured soon-to-be lover, Quatre would forgive Heero regardless of what he did and regardless of whether Heero actually cared.  
  
And Duo? Ah, Duo. Had he forgotten Heero's attempts to severe the one braided link to his past, or was it simply that he no longer cared? His mind subconsciously reached for a memory buried deep inside.  
  
  
  
Trowa had spoken at length before Heero had left. It was something Quatre and Duo would have appreciated, but Heero plainly analysed. Perhaps that was why Trowa rarely talked.  
  
He'd left Quatre for only moments, but Heero could see that it pained him to be away from the blonde. No, he wouldn't finish the mission, Trowa had said.  
  
He had already made the connection, as Heero had expected that Heero had attempted to cut off Duo's braid. Trowa's intellect matched his own, and Heero knew that lies would amount to nothing.  
  
The taller boy had stopped Heero, a perplexing, and different, glaze to his eyes.  
  
"Quatre may die tonight."  
  
"Hn."  
  
Heero had chosen to ignore the comment. He had no desire to express sorrow. He'd turned to walk away, but Trowa's hand had snared his elbow. "Heero."  
  
He'd stared at Trowa, and then his hand.  
  
It relaxed and flopped. "Don't die."  
  
"Hn."  
  
"I mean it." Trowa's voice had amplified, but the sound had flowed through lips that scarcely moved. "You're such a cold bastard sometimes, Heero." He had murmured.  
  
It had been a surprising comment, coming from Trowa.  
  
The boy had continued. "But Duo loves you, no matter how much you hurt him." An almost inaudible sigh. "Just... don't leave it too late, Heero. not like me."  
  
Heero hadn't responded, he'd shouldered the rifle, chains and ropes, and set off, ignoring Trowa and what had been said.  
  
Heero felt his eyes harden. There was no need to inform Duo of anything. No need at all. The only factor influencing his decision to keep Duo alive was the necessity of a trained gundam pilot. That was all.  
  
Satisfied that he had established an appropriate frame of mind, Heero proceeded up the stairs.  
  
  
  
"It's gettin' hot in here..." Duo sung as he shook out his braid "So take off all your__ Yeeow!" Duo slid beneath ice-cold spray, "__clothes!"  
  
I am, getting' so hot, I'm gonna take my clootthhees off!"  
  
Duo did a sexy dance in time to his imaginary music - it might warm his gooseflesh. "Get a little bitta uh, uh..."  
  
  
  
Duo was singing in the shower again. The degree at which Duo could amplify his voice never failed to amaze Heero. His song seemed to echo in every room in the house.  
  
Usually Heero could have shot Duo's radio to shut them both up. But today Duo was singing by himself. There was only one solution.  
  
Mind made up, Heero glided with predatory speed toward the door.  
  
Heero flung it open with a loud slap. He opened his mouth to tell Duo to leash his tongue, when he faltered, frozen. He had been totally unprepared for his body's reaction. The sight of Duo unclothed, slick with water and dancing sensually in time to music only he could hear, flooded Heero's groin with heat.  
  
He'd never felt such an immediate pull, such an instant need, and it frightened him that this was not under his control. Heero trembled with the intensity of his lust, his hand instinctively seeking the steady reliability of the wall. His fingers crushed through the plaster, scattering splinters on the carpet.  
  
  
  
Duo was startled out of his song at the sound of... crumbling wall? Why was Heero outside his door? He turned and around and froze. Shit! When had Heero come inside the bathroom?  
  
  
  
Heero raised his eyes, meeting Duo's confused, very big, violet ones. He closed his mouth against a snarl. What was happening to his body? Why wasn't it moving at his will?  
  
Heero backed away ever so slightly, his dark gaze locked on Duo's.  
  
Then he whirled around and slammed the door.  
  
  
  
Duo blinked. Rather uncertainly, he grabbed his toothbrush and jammed it in his mouth. Duo's eyes swung to the lock on the door, dangling by a single screw.  
  
Duo began scrubbing at his teeth. Heero had gone to lengths to open the bathroom door, not that a bathroom lock was much trouble for the perfect soldier, but he'd known that Duo was inside...  
  
Then again, he might have thought Duo was simply cleaning up instead of letting his hair loose, stripping down and sexy dancing. Damn. Had Heero seen that?  
  
He swallowed a mouthful of water and gargled it, almost choking. God Duo wouldn't mind seeing Heero sexy dance, but he doubted the guy actually did. Didn't seem like the type of thing emotionless killers did.  
  
Duo cringed and rinsed his mouth out again. He hadn't meant that. Heero wasn't an emotionless killer. The guy was just reserved. Hadn't even had much of a reaction to Naked Duo.  
  
If their positions had been reversed he probably would've hopped in the shower with him.  
  
Duo popped his head out of the shower and chucked his toothbrush at the bathroom sink, drenching the floor with his hair in the process. It still hadn't registered that the object of his affections had just viewed him stark naked.  
  
When it did, Duo growled in frustration. It's not true! He lied to his dick. Stupid Heero. He'd only just got it down too.  
  
Duo glared at the jetting spray, the icicles were getting to him. He looked down, affirmed that the cold shower was officially not working, and sighed, switching it to steamy.  
  
He held extra tight to his toothbrush and began singing again.  
  
  
  
Heero rolled out the weights beneath Duo's bed and lifted them both effortlessly. He sat on the bed and began pumping with an unusual boost of vigour, annoyed that it did nothing to relieve his tension.  
  
What was wrong with him? After a few minutes, he heard Duo start singing again. He dropped the weights heavily, not caring that the thump almost overcame Duo's voice.  
  
Heero flipped his hands, palm up. They were shaking.  
  
He was unaccustomed to the feeling, but he knew, instantly that he hated it. Hated it with every fibre of his being.  
  
"Stop." He said coldly.  
  
They didn't. It didn't. And it wasn't just his hands, his whole body quivered. Like he was glass getting ready to break.  
  
"Stop." He ordered, but his body wasn't listening.  
  
Heero jumped to his feet, and backed up until he was braced against the wall, clutching one trembling hand with the other. Shakes rocked his form, his eyes, glassy.  
  
Heero couldn't look away. "What's wrong with me?"  
  
An image flashed in front of his eyes. Duo. It was Duo. All Duo's fault.  
  
  
  
Duo twirled the taps until the last strains of water stopped dripping. He hummed lightly as he stepped out onto the wet tiles, shutting the glass door behind him. The whole room was clouded with thick steam and it stuck like humidity.  
  
Duo slid on soaked boxers, ignoring the chill that accompanied them. His hair practically gave the floor its own personal wash, and he realised he'd forgotten to wring it dry.  
  
Duo growled, and right as he started back into the shower, the bathroom door burst into splinters.  
  
Heero walked in and flung him against the sliding door. Duo gasped as the breath was knocked out of him, feeling glass crack behind his back.  
  
He released him and Duo slid to the floor. Slightly dazed, Duo asked, "What's with you, Heero?"  
  
  
  
Heero spun to walk out the door, but remarkably Duo was already up on his feet and had a hand on Heero's shoulder. Heero stiffened, and Duo sighed, letting his hand fall to his side.  
  
"Hey come on Hee-chan, you can tell Shinigami."  
  
No reply.  
  
Duo's tone softened and he asked, "Is it Doctor J?"  
  
  
  
Heero's muscles locked with tension. He turned slowly, all things around he and Duo simply fading away. "Back. Off."  
  
That look was crumbling Duo's will to bits, and was probably burning a hole in his skin, too. But for some foolish reason, he persisted.  
  
"Come on, Hee-chan."  
  
Heero's voice was arctic. "Leave."  
  
"But you've been so different these days Heero." Duo continued meekly.  
  
"Get out, Duo."  
  
Heero's impassive eyes bored into Duo, betraying none of the danger in continuing to speak.  
  
"You can tell me, Hee-chan." Duo's face broke into a grin, more forced than real. Still, Heero was tolerating him longer than usual, and he took it as a good sign. On pure impulse, he bounded forward and wrapped his arms around Heero. Duo froze, and realised it was too late to pull back.  
  
Eep. Please don't kill me.  
  
Heero shoved him aside and walked forward. He turned. "This is your last warning. Get out."  
  
Duo took a chance. "Please Hee-chan I'm worried."  
  
  
  
To Duo's complete and utter surprise, a soft, purring growl rumbled in Heero's throat. Duo banked, taking a faltering step back. He raised his eyes slightly, and shivered, half in excitement, half in fear.  
  
Heero's locks splayed across his eyes in the sexiest way possible. His eyes were like two pools of liquefied sapphire, dark, and almost seeming to swirl with...  
  
Lust fired Duo's blood. Was he reading those eyes correctly? It wasn't possible. Heero didn't like him, and he sure as hell didn't want him. Duo's breath quickened. He was probably just seeing what he wanted before he died.  
  
It was only when Heero came at him with predatory speed and had Duo's hands locked behind his back that he realised something was terribly wrong. Heero yanked back his drenched hair hard enough to bring tears to Duo's eyes, forcing him back against his body.  
  
Duo whimpered from the pain and wailed. "Gomeeeennn Heero! Gommmeeeennnnnnn!!!"  
  
Heero's hand locked ruthlessly on his jaw, pulling it around with little resistance. Duo blinked back his tears and started throwing apologies left and right. "Kuso! I'm sorry Hee-chan I won't ever uh, bother you agai___"  
  
His words cut off when Heero pressed his soft lips against Duo's neck. Duo started and gasped, his eyes widening in disbelief.  
  
Duo's voice raised an octave. "Heero?"  
  
He actually wants me?  
  
"Heero___Ohhhhhh God..." In a second all thought expired and he shuddered against Heero as he lost himself in the sensations. Heero trailed kisses down his throat, each wet lick of his darting tongue electrifying.  
  
"Heero..." Duo moaned, unable to move. He tried to break free of Heero's hold on his hair, but it only tightened and pulled, reminding Duo that this was not a dream.  
  
Heero's other hand curled around Duo and slid sensually down his chest and stomach. Duo pressed into the hand, wanting and needing that touch to speed up. God how many times had he dreamed of this?  
  
Duo reflexively moaned and thrust out his hips as Heero's hand slid beneath the waist. He ached to be touched, but just before Heero reached him, he curled his hand into a fist, and drew agonisingly slowly back out. Duo squirmed and whimpered, "Heero stop..."  
  
Obviously the sadist didn't care. He simply kept playing the same game with Duo's body over and over again, making Duo beg and plead for some small touch.  
  
"Stop..."  
  
He didn't.  
  
"Heeeero..."  
  
In one fluid movement, Heero spun him around, and with his open hand, slammed Duo onto his back. Duo didn't even notice. He whimpered during the split second Heero's hands and lips left him, his own hands already heading to finish the job.  
  
He cried out mournfully when Heero captured both Duo's wrists before he could do anything, and pinned them above his head. Duo moaned and arched off the floor, begging Heero to touch him.  
  
Heero ignored it. He straddled Duo's hips, revelling in Duo's loud moan of pain and pleasure. Heero's hand resumed its evil pattern as he made an arc over the smaller boy. Then he spread his knees wide and pressed himself fully against Duo.  
  
Duo whimpered and writhed beneath him, needing the friction. His lips clamped down on his lower lip and Heero clamped an urgent hand down on Duo's side to stop him.  
  
Duo's violet eyes lit with the small triumph. Encouraged, he lifted his hips off the floor and crushed himself against the other boy. Almost immediately Heero threw back his head and moaned, struggling to hold Duo down with one hand.  
  
His eyes found Duo's face again and misted with fierce hunger. Duo smirked in spite of his own need as he eagerly rose his back up off the carpet.  
  
Heero's hand left his wrists to pin Duo's sides to the floor. "Stop..." he growled.  
  
The moment his hands were free Duo was reaching for Heero's spandex. He tugged and growled in frustration. "How the hell do you...?"  
  
Heero smirked and rolled off Duo, slipping effortlessly out of the tight spandex.  
  
"You__" Duo whimpered as Heero ripped his boxers down the front, forgetting whatever he'd been about to say. Heero smirked as Duo's lips parted in a gasp, the fine sheen over his skin more sweat than water.  
  
Heero slid his body down Duo's, his hands whispering luxuriously across shivering skin.  
  
He glided past Duo's groin and thighs, and whacked hands away that tried to grab him to pull him back up. Duo trembled and grit his teeth, his hands clenching into fists at his sides. He couldn't take this much longer. If Heero didn't fucking fuck him now he was going to come!  
  
Duo was too caught up in NOT thinking about fucking Heero that he didn't notice him slither back up. When Heero's index finger brushed one hardened nipple Heero was rewarded with a sharp cry. Heero tweaked the nipple, and then drew it swiftly into his mouth, his tongue flicked out to taste, his teeth grazing the sensitive flesh.  
  
Duo tensed and moaned, "...Heeero__"  
  
Heero licked the nipple once more, and then left it. Duo arched pleadingly toward Heero's mouth, but Heero simply pressed the boy back down. He whimpered as Heero's lips and tongue trailed a wet path down Duo's chest, ignoring the small noises of protest.  
  
Heero ran his palms over taut muscles that quivered at his touch, his tongue sliding along Duo's inner thigh as he squirmed. Duo arched his back into something of a bridge, begging Heero to give him release.  
  
"Please Heero..."  
  
Duo tried to tug his hands out of Heero's grip, but Heero held him fast. He shifted upwards, his skin only sighing across Duo's body as he tightened his hand on Duo's wrists.  
  
Heero balanced himself on top of Duo so he wasn't touching him, his eyes raking Duo's body despite his own raw need.  
  
"Heero." Duo begged.  
  
Heero couldn't stop himself. He lowered himself on the boy and skated slightly downwards. Then Heero fastened his mouth on the other nipple, sucking and feeding as Duo moaned, grinding his thigh against Heero's hardness.  
  
Heero shuddered and almost stopped swirling his tongue around Duo's right nipple. He resumed with such controlled savagery that Duo threw back his head and hissed in pleasure. Slender fingers left his wrists to tease his left nipple, and Duo clamped his free hands down on Heero, fingernails biting into his flesh.  
  
"God I can't take this__" Duo moaned, tasting the salty tang of blood in his mouth.  
  
He tried to press himself against Heero, but the elusive bastard slid back down, his hands and tongue gliding. Duo was seeing stars by now, whimpering and twisting against Heero's hold, desperately trying to form a comprehensive sentence that would drive Heero to take him.  
  
"Please..." He whimpered.  
  
Heero smirked, but Duo was in too much pleasure to notice.  
  
He did, however, notice what came next. He'd fantasized about this happening more times than he could count, but the real thing was far, far better. Heero's tongue flicked out and licked the head of Duo's cock.  
  
Duo didn't even have time to groan as Heero's lips plunged down and his throat stretched, taking as much of Duo as he could into his mouth.  
  
"Holy Shit!" Duo convulsed and arched off the floor, his chestnut mane pooling beneath him.  
  
"I cant... oh God Heero__"  
  
For the next few moments he was lost in a whirlwind of pleasure, practically thrusting into Heero's mouth. He'd lost all sense of the world; all he could feel was the tightness of Heero's lips and the sharp contrast of his wet, soft mouth.  
  
He tangled his fingers in Heero's silky mop of hair and felt his hips and thighs buck, barely even aware of himself. Duo spread his knees wide and thrust his hips as he felt orgasm approaching.  
  
"Heeero." he moaned.  
  
A dangerous purr from Heero was all it took to send Duo sprawling over the edge.  
  
Duo's back made a perfect arc off the floor. He released a long, involuntary cry as a hot stream gushed out and filled Heero's mouth. Duo vaguely registered Heero swallowing, and then he collapsed.  
  
  
  
Duo opened his eyes when something silky landed on his face. Every muscle was lax, his body in a pleasurable state of golden immobility. Though it took great effort, he shook the material off so he could see.  
  
It took him a while to register that the material was the two unattached pieces of his boxers, and that Heero, redressed in spandex, stood by the door.  
  
A moment after he saw Heero, the warmth in his heart and limbs chilled. Heero's eyes held no recognition, their cobalt depths impassive to the point of inhuman.  
  
Duo felt as if he had been slapped.  
  
That voice of cold steel. "You were warned."  
  
Heero pivoted and walked out the door.  
  
  
  
Duo couldn't help it. He couldn't hold back the wave of emotion that hit him then, like a ruthless stab to the heart. Duo clamped a hand across his mouth as he sat up.  
  
He'd been used and tossed aside like a whore. He'd even been warned of it. Tears swelled at Duo's violet eyes, as he curled his knees into his body.  
  
His hand, still across his lips, muffled a short sob. God he'd been so stupid. He'd been so stupid to think that he could change anything. That Heero might actually act like he cared.  
  
Duo wrapped his arms around himself and rocked. At least Heero hadn't fucked him, hadn't fucked him like the way Duo had begged.  
  
Duo closed his eyes against the empty doorway and ducked his head.  
  
He couldn't help it. So what. Boys were allowed to cry. Just because the perfect soldier was fucking inhuman and didn't know how.  
  
Duo snatched his braid in his hands and looked around hopelessly for a minute, searching for something to direct his attention at, to stop him from crying. A fruitless minute passed, and then another, and then another.  
  
And then Duo broke down, buried his face in his arms, and wept like a child.  
  
  
  
The End of Chapter Five  
  
Yayyyyy and it only took like wat, 2 weeks to load it up! Neway, I apologize PROFUSELY for that.  
  
Sadly its gonna be like another 1 or 2 weeks before chapter 6 gets put up. Exams. ahhhhh! (I really am a hypocrite, eh?)  
  
But newho, next chap: quatre seizures, duo realisations, duo pain, heero bastardness, heero pain (dun really know what I'll do with wufei next time)  
  
Thankoooo chow! 


	6. Standoff I made a title! but its gay, so...

Hey you! I know it kind of took me forever and I am soo sorry, but I've just become a lazy shit. I'd really like to give you an excuse but SORRY.  
  
I'm starting up a webby! I'll tell u wen its up! Duz ne1 know of free webby service thingos other than angelfire, tripod, or geocities?  
  
PERSONALS TO REVIEWERS: (sorry if I missed ppl but I didn't think any of u would actually care)  
  
Oh thankyou all soooo much!!!!! I luv reviews! I luv u alllll! *tear*  
  
thx to IZZY whose soooo nice 2 me all the time, even when my work SUX  
  
and LORA-HELEN who alllways gives reviews even if she thinks its crap, I no she duz that 2 every1 coz shes the best review friend u can haf  
  
and ME(THE OTHER) - f****** bitch stole my name~! - kidding, thankooooo.  
  
And KITTEN coz u gave me a real long review n I lurrrrvvee those ones. N thankoo coz I was scared no1 else liked duo being vulnerable and heero being a bastard.  
  
ANGEL OF DEATH thanks for not accusing me of being the lazy asswipe I am.  
  
DUO/FOLKEN/TK u gave me the idea!!!  
  
SEPH LORRAINE for giving me shit, as much as I hate you, I luv u! it helped!!! It forced me 2 establish a plot u guys can see  
  
Thanku MAYU KAWAIII luv it when ppl say things like that!!!  
  
KOO: tankkkkkkkkkkkkksss  
  
Yaknow like 60 percent like 2x1s?  
  
Neway, 1x2 LEMON - my first so pwease no flames, 3x4 cuddles, angst, language  
  
  
  
Oh, 1500 words FROM THE BEGINNING are missing - they're on my friend's computer, so I'll post em when I get it back. It just specifies how sad trowa and quat are, and how heero ended up on the road  
  
LAST TIME: duo and the pole, wufei knows the truth, everyone pretends nothing happened, trowa feels bad coz quat took a nightmare bullet thing for him, Duo forgot bout Quat and Trow, Duo caught onto Heero's pain, Duo got head (FINALLY)  
  
Chapter Six  
  
Odd. You'd think after having the object of your affections give you head for the past hour you'd be a happy guy. But then, if you liked him for more than his gorgeous looks, and he'd just left you naked in the middle of room with his cum all over your legs, you might not feel so chipper.  
  
"Well isn't this fun," Duo chirruped, shattering the silence.  
  
He was practically laying spread eagle on the carpet, letting whispery fingers dry the sweat from his skin. Even if Duo hadn't touched his hair, he would've known it looked like it belonged to a prehistoric fashion catalogue.  
  
Didn't smell that way, though. Damn that boy for smelling so good. Duo breathed in luxuriously, a small smile tugging at his lips, Heero's scent still clung to his skin. It was delicious, spicy, sensual, and Duo knew it very intimately. He lapped at the air around him, loving every lungful.  
  
Loving every... why was he still like this? Pining for Heero like he hadn't left Duo naked in the middle of a room with his cum all over Duo's legs!  
  
"Nghrrr..." Duo moaned, turning onto his stomach, the moan somehow managing to twist into a malformed growl during the transition.  
  
It was the best way to express his frustration, really. Not that the carpet his cheek was nuzzling actually cared to know, but he could delude himself, let himself think something cared, couldn't he? He sighed. The moan had been for his pain, the growl for his failed endeavour to get amnesia, and the sigh for the pathetic, dismal state he was in.  
  
He'd been the cause of Heero's explosion of.... hormones? Anger? Who knew? When the subject matter was Heero, no one did. The guy was totally unpredictable. But not so unpredictable that Duo couldn't have guessed his reaction to being pestered.  
  
Ugh! He'd been such an idiot! Stepping out of the shower and standing there with his big goofy grin, questioning Heero, even though he knew the Perfect Soldier was a temperamental psycho and just a tad violent when you got on his nerves. He hadn't even had the right mind to back away slowly when Heero had gotten his animal eyes. Wild, dark and oh-so sexy they might be, but when Heero got animal eyes, anyone with half a brain KNEW it was time to stop.  
  
There it was again. Anyone with half a brain. Duo had always figured 90 percent of his head was skull anyway, but to actually have evidence that he was truly retarded, now that was something.  
  
Duo couldn't restrain the urge to whack his forehead on the floor. There goes another 2000 brain cells, he thought absently. He'd be kicking himself later if that whack blurred his memory of the day though.  
  
He studied the carpet lint, without really looking at it. As much as he wanted to forget the pain, he didn't really want to forget the day. Actually, as a matter of fact, he didn't want to forget an instant of it. It probably wouldn't ever occur again, so he had to cherish every moment. Relish ever second of contact, skin against skin, mouth against air...  
  
Duo blinked. His thoughts were scrambled, thanks to the personal blow to his head, but he struggled to recollect what fragments of memory between Pleasure Highs he still had.  
  
He was about to inform the carpet that 'no, it wasn't working,' when it struck him. During the whole course of the. stuff, Heero's lips had never so much as brushed his. Sure they'd kissed his body like a couple of thousand times. His lips had been everywhere... neck, chest, thighs, cock, you name it, but... they'd never touched Duo's face.  
  
Not once.  
  
Flipping onto his back, Duo settled a vacant stare on the ceiling. What did that mean? Did it mean that all those touches had just been... play? That to kiss Duo would have meant true intimacy? That by kissing every part of Duo except that which was most sacred, he avoided a true violation of Duo, a real... a real... promise?  
  
Duo closed his legs. Not that his cock wasn't sacred, he reasoned. It was just, well weren't lips used in romantic context? Romance novels never described the male attributes. That is to say, he didn't think they did, 'cause it wasn't like he leafed through the pages looking for them...  
  
Duo released a loud sigh. Fact of the matter was, Heero was just some guy who'd happened to suck Duo's dick, and was now over it. Think one-time fling, one night-stand, do and dump, fuck and chuck, there were endless names for what he and Heero had just executed. And Duo was perfectly cool with it. Per-fect-ly cool.  
  
"Sure." Duo shrugged, which was rather awkward seeing as he was lying down. "I could see it that way."  
  
If Heero only wanted him for a few off the side blow jobs well that was just fine with him. Lot's of guys did that type of shit. Hell, he might've done it to a few girls. Well maybe not to that extent, but enough to hurt the recipient.  
  
What the hell. What was he doing? Evaluating his situation like it was a fucking mission; why not get Heero in to type up a report? - Oh that's right, Heero LEFT!  
  
Duo waited a minute, and then squeezed his eyes shut. Damn. He hadn't expected it to hurt this much... Since when had getting head meant so much to him anyway?  
  
'Since it was Heero Yuy, the Perfect Soldier, cold-blooded killer who doesn't give a fuck for his comrade who acts like he's so in love he can't think straight.'  
  
"Shut up!" Duo snarled at the wall. He sniffed, "I'm not in love."  
  
  
  
He propped himself up on his elbows and looked around. Energy restored, he raised his chin in the air and sniffed again. "As if I'd love someone like that."  
  
"Like___" Wufei stuck his head in the door and immediately pulled it back out. "Whoa - what the fuck!"  
  
Duo forced a genuine-sounding chuckle. "Don't act like you didn't like it Wu-man!"  
  
"Shut up, Maxwell." Wufei yelled, sounding pissed. "Why are you not clothed?"  
  
A minute passed as Duo scanned the room for something to wear. Finally, he grabbed a floppy corner of his blanket and yanked it off the bed, twining it around his hips.  
  
"I am now." Duo called back.  
  
Wufei inched around the corner suspiciously. When he saw Duo, the tension alleviated, but his face remained wary.  
  
Wufei stared.  
  
"What?" Duo demanded.  
  
Wufei cocked his head a teeny bit, looking at him in the same way you'd study a Gundam... but weirder. A brief pause, he said, "Duo..."  
  
"What's up?"  
  
  
  
"Why are you wearing a skirt?"  
  
  
  
Duo blinked in confusion for a moment, and then burst into guffaw. "Wanna give it a try, Wuffie?"  
  
"I'm not into that sort of thing." Wufei replied gingerly.  
  
Duo pouted. "Aw come on! I've even got heels if you want."  
  
Wufei scowled - rather nervously - as Duo sashayed toward him. In a hurried attempt to change the subject, his eyes passed over the room, settling on some familiar black material on the carpet.  
  
Duo noticed Wufei frown at something on the floor. He looked behind him absently. His eyebrows shot up and he could've sworn his braid stood on end. Not in the best state to think straight, Duo panicked.  
  
Wufei caught Duo's fist effortlessly, a mile away from his face.  
  
"Heh..." Duo tried.  
  
"Just a tip. You could try moving your arm at a rate faster than three millimetres per second; it might improve the effectiveness of your blows."  
  
Duo grinned sheepishly. "Yup. I'll take it to heart."  
  
Wufei studied Duo with a slanty-eyed gaze. Something was up. Although he'd never admit it, it was 'usually' an even match in hand-to-hand combat, when they sparred. The best either got was a few lucky blows, or his opponent giving in because he hadn't conserved enough energy.  
  
Wufei dropped it... momentarily. "What was it for?"  
  
"Eh?" Duo squinted, feeling kinda woozy.  
  
"Why did you attempt to hit me?"  
  
Duo squeaked.  
  
"Well?"  
  
"Umm..." In a desperate crack at evading the question, Duo cried, "How could I resist!" and pounced on his fellow comrade. Surprisingly, Wufei's glide was so slow that Duo actually managed to topple him over; landing in a sprawl on top the chinese boy.  
  
The growl was the only warning he got until Duo was literally hurled across the room and smacked against the wall with enough force to kill. His eyes exploded with light as the back of his head slapped brick, his body crumpling to the carpet.  
  
Duo moaned softly as he opened his eyes. He was lucky; the blow had caused only temporaril damage. Nothing was broken but...  
  
"Wu-man?" Duo whispered.  
  
His eyes widened slightly, as he realised Wufei was clutching his head and snarling through clenched teeth. A vein in his neck corded and throbbed as he turned to look at Duo, his eyes gleaming savagely until he clenched them shut.  
  
Duo stared, completely taken aback. He stared still, when Wufei fell to his knees, breathing hard, sweat beading on his skin.  
  
"Wufei..." He said softly.  
  
Wufei raised a furious glare and dared him to say something. "Where's Yuy?" He ground out.  
  
"Uh... dunno."  
  
He stood up. Charcoal eyes narrowed as they glared at him. Duo tried to hold the gaze, but he wilted within seconds. He cringed at Wufei's harsh voice. "I see."  
  
"Wu-man... what just happened?"  
  
After what seemed like an eternity, Wufei scowled and walked forward a few stiff paces and offered his hand. Duo simply stared at the open palm for a few seconds, before it struck him that Wufei was offering him help to stand. - Wufei offering help? Damn, there really must be something wrong with him.  
  
Wufei yanked him up with needlessly painful force, and Duo winced as he felt his arm practically wrench from its socket. He grinned to disguise all his bruises. "Thanks Wuffie!"  
  
Wufei nodded, though something like uncertainty flashed through his eyes. A scowl masked what might have been there, as he appraised Duo with eagle- sharp eyes. "You look like shit. Go to sleep. Wash your hair."  
  
Duo scrunched up his face in confusion. "In that order?"  
  
Wufei just grunted, "baka" and strode out of the room.  
  
Duo blinked.  
  
His eyes strayed to the floor where his boxers lay. Duo stooped down to pick them up with a groan. He held the material limp across both hands, before scrunching it in his fists. His body ached, but he didn't care. His movements mechanical, Duo aimed for Heero's rubbish bin.  
  
He was stopped in mid-throw by a short, high-pitched wail.  
  
  
  
It took a long moment to register that the wail was coming from inside the house. It took another moment to register that the wail was familiar. As the piercing sob trailed off, Duo remembered just who to, and what, he had done.  
  
Time slowed to an agonising pace as he whirled around.  
  
"NO."  
  
A long, anguished cry echoed down the hall as he burst into an all out sprint, swinging around the doorway in a tangle of blanket and legs. Duo kept running, his feet practically moving of their own accord, his arms clutching the bundle of cloth together on a purely instinctive level.  
  
Tears had started to film on Duo's eyes again, as he ran with speed so unnatural he couldn't ever have accomplished consciously. Right now, he was blind to the world around him.  
  
When Duo reached Quatre's room, he skidded to a halt, almost falling over in the process. He flung open the door and stopped, frozen, so much guilt washing through him it hurt to stand. As usual, Duo had used his mouth before his mind.  
  
"Is he alright?!" Duo blurted.  
  
He closed his eyes, wishing he'd never intruded.  
  
Trowa's soft, forgiving reply only made him feel worse. "He will be."  
  
Duo opened his eyes and surveyed the scene, cursing his vociferous personality. Of course they'd be together... he should've known he wouldn't be welcome.  
  
Trowa was spooning Quatre against his long body, his slender hands stroking in caresses to comfort, rather than seduce. The smaller boy was sweating terribly, his body jerking every few seconds, as if something struggled to escape.  
  
Duo pressed his lips together as he started backing out. "I... I'll go."  
  
He began to turn, suddenly ashamed of his tears. Who was he to cry, when Quatre was the one dying? A soft voice called to him. "Wait."  
  
Duo obeyed wordlessly, his form sagging. It wouldn't matter if Trowa went off at him, Duo told himself, he deserved it.  
  
'You killed Quatre! You told him this mission was for five! You told him and you made him follow! He went into the bushes and you left him. You left him to be shot when you know he would have come after you!'  
  
But when the other boy spoke, his voice was barely audible. "Look at me, Duo."  
  
Duo turned and looked at him.  
  
"Don't make the same mistake I did. don't. don't let Heero go."  
  
Duo eyes widened as he backed out. It wasn't up to him, anyway.  
  
  
  
Trowa hadn't noticed Duo leave. It didn't matter to him. All that mattered to him right now was his angel. His tormented, weeping angel. So much horror in their lives, and only one life to light them all.  
  
"You were always so good at this, Love." Trowa murmured.  
  
Quatre twitched, the movement rippling down his body. A soft moan escaped his parted lips, and he twisted in Trowa's arms. Trowa held him close. "There's something wrong with Heero," he whispered.  
  
Quatre jerked and arched off the bed, wailing when Trowa's embrace restrained him. Trowa only pulled Quatre tighter against him. He closed his eyes and tried to choke off his despair. "We need you Love.. I need you.." He kissed Quatre's soft, trembling lips, once. "I love you.. please.. come back to me.."  
  
  
  
Duo stared at his reflection in the mirror. Any other person might have seen lovely violet eyes, and the joyful soul that lit them. All he saw was Death. Shinigami: Killer of all things close.  
  
* Flashback *  
  
Duo slapped a hand across his mouth. "God - Quatre!" He cried, jumping off the bed and scrambling to the blonde pilot's side.  
  
The pilot was too far-gone to notice, but Duo fawned over him anyway. He laid a supporting hand on Quatre's waist, asking, "What happened?" He bit his lip when he pulled his hand away, wet with blood.  
  
'He was shot.'  
  
*End*  
  
Duo jerked as he felt his stomach revolt. He braced himself over the sink and bent his head as his belly rejected whatever he'd eaten that day. He spent the next few minutes retching up the remaining contents of his stomach.  
  
Duo let himself hang there for a moment, warmth dripping from his eyes. Tears and strands of his hair matted with the mess in the sink, the smell nauseating. His throat and eyes burned as Duo reached for the taps.  
  
He watched the torrent of water wash the sick down the drain. It may have cleaned the sink and his hair, but it didn't cleanse the sick feeling in his heart. Nothing could do that.  
  
Duo smiled bitterly, empty tears refilling his eyes. He was resisting the habitual urge to bawl, he didn't deserve the luxury of tears.  
  
Duo wiped his palms across his eyes.  
  
There were no solutions this time. They had to wait it out, see if Quatre would wake up, or just deteriorate. Wait to see if he wasted away on a sickbed, until that loving, soft-hearted boy became nothing but a memory.  
  
"I have to shower." He mumbled to himself. His skin felt dirty.  
  
No singing this time.  
  
  
  
"Are you alright, young man?"  
  
* 'Are you alright, Heero?' *  
  
"Is he hurt, Daddy?"  
  
* 'I want you to hurt.' *  
  
"He'll be fine, I'm sure he's just being foolish sweetheart."  
  
* 'You fool, stop crying, you're fine.'  
  
'Once more Heero, then I'm finished.' *  
  
"Stay back."  
  
*'Stay back!'*  
  
  
  
"Stay back!!!"  
  
Heero snapped to his feet, spun around and pressed the barrel of his gun hard right between the little girl's eyes.  
  
"What the HELL are you doing!"  
  
The little girl began to cry.  
  
Heero wore an expression of complete vacancy, his large, blue eyes unblinking.  
  
"Put that down, Boy!"  
  
The outraged voice was only a buzz in the background. A mere bead of water in a deluge of rain. Heero spied the adult male out of the corner of his eye. The man's strength was not enough to compensate his lacking stealth. Heero dismissed him as fast as he had assessed him.  
  
He realigned his arm with the girl's eyes.  
  
They were sky blue, her sweet face the picture of dim-witted innocence. She was shaking visibly, her wails piercing to human ears. It didn't matter; Heero Yuy wasn't human.  
  
"Now listen Son, I know you don't want to do this." An adult hand hovered above Heero's weapon.  
  
*'Say you want me Heero, I want to hear you say it.'*  
  
Heero shook his head in an attempt to clear it. He opened his eyes in time to see a hairy hand clamp down onto his gun. Heero reacted instinctively. He seized the thick wrist with lightning speed, twisted it and flipped the male over his head and onto his back. Where the man lay, the road had cracked.  
  
A low groan played in the silence.  
  
*'Kill her.  
  
'Kill her, or I'll play with you again'*  
  
Heero's glazed, dark eyes narrowed sharply with determination.  
  
The word formed, hard and cold on his lips. "No."  
  
* 'So you want more, do you?'  
  
'Leave me alone... Please just leave me alone....'  
  
'No.'*  
  
"No." Heero repeated, eyes shut. His voice had lost its resolute strength.  
  
His finger pressed down on the trigger.  
  
"NO!!!" The man screamed.  
  
  
  
AC 192  
  
Five men sat in a room, bare of anything except plain wooden furniture that accommodated their temporary stay. The only sounds were the soft echoes of their voices and the faint creaking of their chairs. They were on the base floor of a high-rise building on L1, five doctor-scientists discussing clandestine information.  
  
"You don't think this is a bit drastic?" Master O spoke gruffly.  
  
"Not at all, war demands such extremities." Doctor J told him.  
  
"But they'll be fifteen... little more than children? Surely we could wait___" Master O added.  
  
"The chemicals may start acting up, after they have reached such an age." Doctor J folded his arms. "I won't take that risk."  
  
Professor G harrumphed. "Well why That boy? What makes you think you can have him gather___"  
  
"Please refrain from mentioning too many details, Professor. We don't know if this place is bugged."  
  
Professor G sneered. "Evading my question?"  
  
"Because Pilot 02 is infused with enough chemicals to make him insane." Doctor J said pleasantly. "It is a certainty that his body will react at fifteen. We do not know how long he'll last, even with the treatment.  
  
A pause. "You're right."  
  
"So you agree, Professor?" Doctor J asked without smugness.  
  
Silence fell across them for a moment.  
  
"It seems foolish. Unnecessary. We'll be done soon, besides." Doktor S sniffed.  
  
"You're willing to use Pilot 02, Professor G?" Master O asked.  
  
"Yes! He'll probably die within ten years."  
  
Doctor J smiled. "And whose to say anything will go wrong? Perhaps neither of them will need to do anything."  
  
"Except..." Professor G volunteered.  
  
"Yes. Except Him."  
  
"Poor boy. I feel sorry for him almost. They'll think he's a traitor." Professor G sighed.  
  
No one said anything, so Doctor J continued on a different tone. "This will be the last of our meetings, there can be no more."  
  
"So you're pressing for a decision." Instructor H spoke for the first time.  
  
  
  
"Yes. Shall we vote?"  
  
"What, no last swaying remarks, Doctor?" Doktor S smirked.  
  
"I leave it up to you four, you know what I think." Doctor J replied, unperturbed.  
  
"So, who says yes?" Doctor J smiled pleasantly with mock casualness, scanning each individual face.  
  
After a soundless moment, Master O's hand rose to join Doctor J's. "This is war."  
  
Instructor H slowly raised his hand. "He must be trained against all odds, including the value of life."  
  
Doktor S and the Professor's expressions turned resentful.  
  
J looked around and articulated with a slight smirk, "Then it is unanimous."  
  
  
  
"HEERO!" Quatre bolted upright, his eyes flying open.  
  
"Quat!" Trowa cried, his emotionless demeanour dropping. He wrapped his arms around Quatre, hugging him itght as the boy babbled incoherently.  
  
"Quat..."  
  
"You have to help him!" Quatre wailed, throwing back his head.  
  
Trowa pulled Quatre closer to his body and pinned his flailing arms to his sides. "Where is he, Love?" He asked softly.  
  
Quatre started as if he'd never known where he was. He pushed Trowa away, his hands whacking Trowa in the face. "Don't touch me!"  
  
"Quatre, I___" Trowa curled an arm around Quatre's waist as the boy tried to scramble off the bed.  
  
"Don't touch medon't touch medon't touch medon't touch me ."  
  
"Quat!" Trowa wrapped both arms around him and flipped him onto his back. He shook him lightly by the shoulders, but Quatre recoiled, kicking his legs out in an effort to get away.  
  
"It's me Love, ple___"  
  
"STOP CALLING ME THAT!!!"  
  
Trowa stopped, his hands clamping down like locks.  
  
Quatre whimpered under the ice-cold grip, but Trowa didn't seem to notice. He was too focused on what Quatre had yelled, and how Trowa was going to continue living if Quatre had meant what he'd said.  
  
Trowa's voice wavered. "Stop calling you what...?"  
  
"Love!" Quatre cried desperately, squirming in Trowa's hold. "Stop calling me Love!"  
  
The colour faded from Trowa's eyes, what little expression he had, dying on his face. He released Quatre, watching the only thing he'd ever loved, crawl under the covers and cower away from him.  
  
Trowa sat back, face deadpan. "I'm sorry."  
  
  
  
Candles cast shadows along the bare walls of his bedroom, but the chinese boy was immune to their hypnotic dance. He was dancing his own dance, to a silent song with a deadly tune.  
  
Lately his mind had been so crowded, every thought was painful. His usual gruffness was pretence for the others; they didn't need to know what was going on inside his head.  
  
Not that he did. His mind felt like it had been crammed with wet cotton, and the hostility between the pilots was not helping.  
  
So now, he spent his time dancing. Not in a physical sense, but in one that was purely astral. He danced in spirit and mind. Every spare moment of his time was taken up by meditation. It gave a brief instant of freedom, clarity, and forgiveness for the deaths of a thousand nameless men who he knew nothing about and never wanted to.  
  
Duo... Wufei cringed, his concentration broken. Duo had suffered his inability to contain the mental attacks that Wufei suffered; Duo had suffered with his body. He hadn't meant to throw Duo across the room, he'd known the American had been playing; it had been pure instinct which drove him.  
  
"Wufei."  
  
He craned his neck around to look at the form silhouetted in the doorway behind him. "Yes?"  
  
"Look after Winner. I am going to find Heero."  
  
Wufei stared. Trowa never called Winner, Winner, it was always some sickly endearment like 'love' or 'angel' or at least Quatre. the name hadn't even been said with any warmth. His voice had resounded with the same softness, but it had seemed colder somehow, less... alive.  
  
Wufei uncrossed his legs, and hopped lithely to his feet. He spoke with the caution one deals to a fierce predator. "No. You stay with Winner, I will find Yuy."  
  
A shadow hung across Trowa's right eye, but Wufei swore he glimpsed something flicker through it. "Look after Winner, Wufei."  
  
It was an order. Plain and simple. Trowa had issued a command, there was no part of his tone wasted on the casual friendship the pilots had gotten used to. He was ordering Wufei to look after Quatre.  
  
For once, Wufei didn't rebel. Instead, he watched, astonished, as Trowa turned and vanished down the corridor. He stared at the empty doorway for a bit, before saying quietly, "alright."  
  
  
  
Thud.  
  
"Go..." Heero growled.  
  
He was bent double, his fingers splayed on the concrete like a sprinter before his race. His breathing was shallow, yet deep, and the blood at his temples seemed too cold to be throbbing so powerfully.  
  
"Paddddyyy!!!" The girl wailed.  
  
"GO!!" Heero snarled.  
  
"Leave her, honey, let's go."  
  
Heero barely registered the soft patter of feet as the man dragged his daughter away from the carnage. He sagged when he could no longer hear their footsteps. They were safe.  
  
"Heero."  
  
His bare feet scraped the road as he whirled, his gun aimed dead ahead.  
  
Heero stared, lowered his handgun. "Barton." He acknowledged distantly.  
  
Trowa nodded.  
  
Heero closed his eyes and nodded in reply, swaying on his feet.  
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
Heero ground his feet into the road, and shut off his senses. That way, he couldn't smell the coppery tang of canine blood.  
  
Heero absently slid his gun back into his spandex. "Hai."  
  
  
  
Duo was back at the mirror again. He'd spared a moment to ponder Trowa's departure, and had then dismissed it.  
  
He was braiding his hair for the third time since he'd stepped out of the shower. His fingers moved rapidly as they braided three sections of his hair. When he came to its chestnut tail, he wound elastic around it, and tossed the thick rope over his shoulder.  
  
He'd slicked his hair back uncharacteristically, and for a moment, as Duo raked his eyes across his reflection, he abhorred it. It was not how his hair had been styled, but what the style exposed. With his fringe tucked back, he could see the clean, heart-shape of his face, and every boyish, pretty feature.  
  
Duo turned away, disgusted. Tears were already filled his eyes as he pushed away memories of his life on the streets. The past was never pleasant. Not for any of them.  
  
But then again, the present was no better. And the future? The Gundam pilots had no future. There was nothing reminiscence about, nothing to indulge in, and nothing to look forward to. Their lives were as bleak, and as meaningless, as they had ever been.  
  
Perhaps the present was the best. Hated and used by your one true. At least he could dream Heero liked him back. At least now, he could still wait for nights when sleep and little fantasises claimed him.  
  
But now those fantasies had transpired.. It had been great, fantastic even, better than his dreams had delivered and definitely better than any chick or guy who'd ever gotten on their knees for him in his whole life. But it hadn't been enough, wasn't enough...  
  
Duo managed to scowl. Over the past months Duo had managed to convince himself all he desired from Heero was a good fuck. That was as far as it was supposed to go. Lust, pure and simple.  
  
'Yeah? Then why are you bawling your eyes out like it hurt that he sucked you off and left you behind?'  
  
Duo frowned, unable to stop his lower lip from quivering. He bit it, tasting blood. Duo hated feeling so vulnerable.  
  
He hadn't dropped his mask in such a long time. In a way he wore smiles in the same way Heero wore his 'imanasshole' expression. They were both masks, only decorated differently.  
  
Duo felt something thin and rubbery in his hand. He staggered back into reality with a perplexed expression, and looked down.  
  
Duo found himself staring at a triple bladed razor face down, poised above his left wrist.  
  
"No!" Duo shouted, startled. He impulsively thrust the razor away from him, watching in horror as it ricocheted off the walls and bounced into a plastic tub. The razor clattered around the curved base of the tub until it slid to a stop, teasing Duo with its stillness.  
  
Duo turned away and raked a hand through his hair, welcoming the feel of his bangs as they flopped back into place. Jesus. What had he been thinking.  
  
Duo Maxwell, ready to kill himself over an asinine infatuation. Yeah right! He'd never shed a tear over anyone let alone... Duo shuddered... cut himself. So he'd bawled over Heero a few times but that stupid cunt didn't count.  
  
"Fuck him!" Duo cried furiously, his eyes already filming over.  
  
Heero wasn't worth that! Heero wasn't worth-y of Duo! He didn't deserve to have Duo hanging like this! Even with that perfect body or gorgeous face or sexy eyes___  
  
"Fuck him!" Duo burst out again, not caring about the echo.  
  
"I don't want him and I sure as hell don't need him!" Duo proclaimed. He tossed the razor one last snubbing look, and with that, pivoted on his heel and flung open the bathroom door.  
  
He marched into the middle of the room, chin held so high he'd lost sight of everything but the ceiling. Duo tossed his braid.  
  
"Heero can go fuck himself!"  
  
Duo was about to stomp somewhere else when he froze, sensing someone else in the room. Oh shit.  
  
"I'd rather fuck you."  
  
Duo spun around, braid snapping like a whip. His breathing was already laboured, an innocent grin plastered across his face. "Heeey Hee-chan."  
  
He expected a rebuke of the nickname, hoped for one. He needed it to stop himself from___ in less than a split second Duo felt a tightening sensation in groin as fire flooded up his body. His mouth fell open like a trap door, and he felt his every muscle clench.  
  
Duo did his best not to let his eyes wander. 'Best' meaning, he gave them free reign over every smooth, olive skinned plane of Heero's body.  
  
His breath hitched when he and Heero finally locked eyes. Those twin pools of liquid sapphire watched him with deadly, delicious intention.  
  
Duo bit his lip again. No. He wouldn't give in this time. It was little more than a few hours since Heero had used him and tossed him aside, Wufei had beat him up, and Duo had found Quatre... had found Quatre...  
  
"Duo." Heero purred.  
  
Oh shit. Duo's urgency increased when he realised he was naked. He desperately seized up the last remaining sheet from his bed and knotted it at his hips.  
  
"N-no Heero." Duo stammered nervously, struggling to hold his voice steady. He took a shaky step backward, watching with horror as Heero lips curved in the slightest smirk, and he began gliding toward him.  
  
"P-please don't, Hee-chan," Duo pleaded. He held up both hands to ward Heero off, cowering against the wall. He couldn't look away as Heero closed the space between them.  
  
He hadn't meant it. God he hadn't meant it. He wanted Heero more than he'd ever wanted anything in his life. He dangled by a thread to his self- control, once Heero activated his hands, Duo was a dead man.  
  
Duo gave a startled yelp as Heero's hand snaked out, grabbed the sheet at Duo's hips, and pulled him in with a sharp tug. Duo nearly fell into him, but pulled back as best as he could. Heero was faster, his arm slid around Duo's waist before he could run, the blanket loosening and falling away.  
  
Duo breathed hard. "Heero... Heero I-____ohhh," Duo felt a hand brush his groin, the lingering contact sending thrills all through his body, and hardening him even more.  
  
Heero steadied Duo's jelly legs, and then pressed both palms flat against Duo's chest and pushed him to the wall, his eyes acknowledging openly the reaction he'd caused.  
  
Duo felt tears staining his cheeks. He wanted this, needed this, yet the knowledge that Heero was so intent on his own pleasure and didn't give a fuck about Duo, was enough to make Duo beg for him to stop. Duo was putty in Heero's hands, he was about to surrender every part of himself, and he didn't want to be hurt again.  
  
Duo squirmed under Heero, only serving to rub himself against the Japanese boy's arousal. Heero's hand reached between them, and Duo hauled up every inch of his willpower to seize that hand and stop it in its course.  
  
"D-don't, Heero... you don't even care!"  
  
Heero let Duo hold his wrist there, he could have broken free at any time - Duo simply wasn't strong enough to hold it down. Duo tried to push him away as Heero's face came closer, but one arm wasn't enough.  
  
"Hai. I don't." Heero agreed flatly.  
  
Duo whimpered as Heero shoved him upwards so he was pinned above the carpet, trapped between Heero and the wall.  
  
Duo gave a cry and unleashed his fists on Heero. "No! I won't!"  
  
Heero caught both hands easily with one of his own, bringing them up over Duo's head. Duo hung his head in defeat. Heero slid his other hand around Duo's waist and cupped his ass. Duo gasped sharply as Heero pulled him against him.  
  
"You can't stop me."  
  
"I___" Heero crushed himself against Duo's arousal and swayed gently, "s- stop..."  
  
"Stop what?" Heero purred, his breath tickling Duo's ear.  
  
"S-st-s___ ohhhh."  
  
Duo writhed and moaned as Heero ground himself against the other boy, whimpering involuntarily as Heero broke contact with him, hating Heero but burning for him at the same time.  
  
Heero ran one predatory hand down Duo's smooth boy, ignoring the pleas for him to stop. Duo wanted this as much as he, he could feel it as blatantly as he could feel the need pressing against him.  
  
A whisper of a smirk crossed Heero's lips before he masked it, soon it would be impossible to cover expressions, but Duo would be too wrapped up in his own climax to notice. Heero pushed downward with his fingertips, kneading muscle with his palm.  
  
Obviously, the teasing was getting to Duo. His protests were warring with moans and sharp cries now; it was likely he was only repeating them now because the record in his head kept spinning.  
  
Heero released Duo with an almost theatrical flourish, and smoothed his hands along the insides of Duo's thighs. The urgency to take Duo was pressing, but he had been trained to curb such needs if the occasion called for it.  
  
"Oh God Heero stopp..." Heero felt his tension grow a notch as he was rewarded with a husky, drawn-out moan. It took all he had to contain the sounds in his own throat. He let his fingers fasten on those creamy thighs, almost painfully.  
  
  
  
Duo winced as Heero's hands locked on the inner sides of his legs. Trust the Perfect Soldier to mix pain and pleasure.  
  
His thoughts were diminishing with frightening rapidity as Heero's hands played. Now that Duo's own were free, he had the power to do something. Just as Duo began formulating an escape, he threw his head back and moaned fiercely as Heero bent down and licked his full length.  
  
When Heero came back up, Duo glared at him. He knew now, what Heero was doing. Heero had given him the illusion of power because it amused him. Duo didn't have any control at all.  
  
Duo hated Heero for making him think that. He needed release. He needed it terribly, his entire body thrummed, his skin burned and his cock was hanging like a rock from his abdomen.  
  
Heero was in complete control. Duo wouldn't cum until Heero wanted it. "___ohhh God!"  
  
  
  
Heero's gaze roved all over Duo's silky skin. His eyes locked onto a red smear on the boy's slender side and narrowed ever so slightly. Almost involuntarily, Heero brushed his fingers against it.  
  
They contacted with something wet and sticky. At first, Heero didn't recognise the red liquid. Staring, Heero stopped running his hands all over Duo, and brought the red swashed fingers back up to his face.  
  
The smell of blood ambushed his nostrils. Heero stifled a snarl. Without hesitation, he captured Duo's waist in hands tight enough to bruise, and spun the boy around.  
  
Duo yelped as he was stopped in mid-whirl, his chest facing the wall. Heero felt his eyes widen before he masked the expression. Duo's smooth back was practically painted in red. Albeit the source of this blood was grazes, Heero knew it was his fault.  
  
The wall behind Duo was bare brick, and Duo's unclothed back had been slammed and grated mercilessly against it. Heero ran his fingers gently across the marks, hearing Duo whimper without the usual allure.  
  
Gomen... Heero whispered on the inside. He was in the process of gently turning Duo back around, when a harsh voice seeped back into his consciousness.  
  
  
  
Duo flinched when Heero's fingers began to trace the grazed skin on his back. Confusion filled him when the gentle touches became more featherlight, they almost seemed to be imploring___  
  
Duo shoved that thought aside. He knew Heero, and Heero was never sorry. Duo cried out in surprise when Heero wordlessly whisked Duo's legs out from under him and up into his arms.  
  
  
  
Heero cradled Duo in his arms, not really considering the consequences of his actions. He was ignoring that voice in his head, ignoring every stupid training ritual it spewed at him.  
  
He focused on Duo, looking up him with those big child-like violet eyes. "Heero?" He asked, expression strained from need, but so confused.  
  
Heero uttered one monotone word.  
  
Those beautiful orbs clouded. "Why?" Duo's mouth twisted in a bitter smile. "You never needed a bed before."  
  
"Hn," was all Heero said back, but his voice was tender.  
  
He'd never admit the real reason.  
  
  
  
Duo's eyes were filling with tears again. Heero was laying him out on the sprawled mess of sheets - very gently. He couldn't begin to contemplate - even with a clear mind - why Heero would be so tender with him.  
  
"Wh-why are you being so nice?" Duo whispered.  
  
Heero's Prussian eyes seemed to glaze coldly, and his soft, sensuous mouth fell into that expression of bored impassivity. Good one, Duo.  
  
But the reply never came. A wave of pleasure ripped up Duo's body and all thought on the question fled him as Heero wrapped his hand around him. Heero pushed Duo down on the bed by one shoulder, only to find Duo all too willing to comply.  
  
Heero took his time, massaging Duo's legs and thighs, moving slowly closer and closer to the ultimate key of Duo's pleasure. As he always did, a millimetre before his fingers contacted, Heero stopped.  
  
Duo opened his mouth and eyes in protest. "Heero?"  
  
He promptly slammed both shut as Heero took Duo in his mouth hand slid an oil slick finger inside the boy in one smooth motion. Duo moaned and shuddered as sensation crashed through his entire body.  
  
Heero nudged Duo's legs apart and found them spread already. It was the invitation he'd been waiting for. Heero found Duo's spot and he massaged it, taking Duo deeper into his mouth as the boy arched up to meet him.  
  
Heero reached up with his right hand - still working Duo's body with his left and mouth - and threaded his fingers through Duo's chestnut braid. The strands of silk fell apart swiftly, parting into three, beautiful golden- coloured sections, and then relaxing into one iridescent cascade.  
  
Duo moaned, bringing Heero's attention back to his body. Heero had almost forgotten, so transfixed had he been by Duo's ribbons of undulating gold.  
  
The corners of Heero's lips lifted in a smirk as Duo called Heero's name and begged for him not to stop. Heero drew out the touches, waiting until the boy moved according to his stroke, adjusting to the new, marvellous sensations.  
  
After a while, he added another finger, sucking hard and feeling small hands bury themselves in his hair. Heero began withdrawing his lips with a satisfied smirk as familiar whimpers reached his ears. Duo's hands fisted as Heero dragged his tongue along the ridge of Duo's cock.  
  
  
  
Duo was swimming in a widening pool of pur bliss. No, he wasn't swimming, he was floating. Floating on air, on clouds of fluffy white heeeaaavvvv "en..."  
  
Heero raised his head in inquiry, but Duo moaned and tried to push the boy's head back down. The Japanese boy slid slyly away, seemingly oblivious to Duo's soft pleas.  
  
"Hee-chan?" He gasped.  
  
Heero's tongue had a drastic effect on Duo as it swirled up the centre of his abs and chest, the hand inside Duo not stopping. Duo lifted his hips in an attempt to encourage Heero, but Heero didn't appear to need any. He pulled his fingers out, and pushed into him.  
  
Duo gave a sharp cry and dug his fingernails into Heero's smooth back. Heero didn't wait. He began thrusting immediately with a painful amount of force. It didn't seem to both Duo however, as the boy wrapped his legs around Heero and squeezed him, eliciting a moan.  
  
Duo's breaths changed from short panting to shuddering gasps as their movements became faster, Heero, unable to hide his pleasure any longer, moaned with Duo in untrained chorus. He threaded his fingers through Duo's waterfall, delighting in Duo's moan of wonderful delirium.  
  
They pressed together, body temperatures feverish and glazed eyes meeting, the last time Duo came up. For an instant, their bodies were directly in tune with each other, their minds one and the same, their souls intertwined, and then, as fast as they had come together, they slammed back down, and Duo was lost to a blinding world of pleasure.  
  
  
  
Heero purred. Duo threw his head back as he came, his chestnut mane a glorious curtain of shimmering colour that pooled on the floor. The sight alone was enough to finish him and Heero felt a hot streaming torrent leave his body and fill Duo's as he collapsed on top of him.  
  
Heero didn't pull out, recovering for a moment.  
  
  
  
After the blinding side effects faded, Duo craned his neck to the side to see Heero. Duo was covered in a thin sheen of sweat, and his body was filled with that golden warmth one experienced after a wild night of untamed sex.  
  
Duo closed his eyes in bliss, his lips forming a soft smile. He needed rest, but he had to say something first... even if it cost him his life.  
  
He felt his eyes flutter open. "Hee-chan?"  
  
To Duo's utter amazement, Heero pulled out, and braced himself above Duo, his eyes softening as they fixed on Duo's. He even appeared ready to listen. "Hn?"  
  
The removal of that cold, guarded expression filled Duo with hope.  
  
"I know you won't say this back, but. I have to get this out." Duo paused and took a deep breath, "dai. daisuki desu, Hee-chan." he murmured. (I like you A LOT!)  
  
He wouldn't have been able to stand seeing that cold face unchanged, those Prussian eyes staring right through him as if he didn't exist. Darkness was preferable to that. Duo shut his eyes and steeled himself for the blow.  
  
  
  
For the briefest moment, it seemed Heero wouldn't hit him. Then he felt the impact of Heero's fist slam into his cheek. It jarred his entire head; he could almost feel the bone structure of his face disassemble, his eyes almost pop out of their sockets and the back of his head leave a permanent impression on the sheets. It was numb now, but fuck, that was one bruise that would hurt like hell later.  
  
"Nan datte.?" Heero hissed (What did you say?). Duo looked up hopelessly, his vision obscured by tears and locks of chestnut falling over his cheeks and face.  
  
"Gomen Heero... gomen nasai," Duo whispered, "I'm sorry Heero___"  
  
"Damatte!" (Shut up!)  
  
Heero spoke softly now, his smooth face indecipherable. "Duo no Bakana kono yaro." (Duo you stupid bastard)  
  
  
  
Heero looked deep into the pilot of Deathscythe's eyes. They were as wide as saucers, round violet orbs with tiny pools of silver in them, dancing with the soft, pained tears.  
  
Heero watched emotionlessly as Duo flinched at each slur, knowing his words cut the braided baka like a knife in the heart. He hardened his cold exterior, and locked his feelings away along with his heart. His lips moved of their own accord, a reflex action to a declaration of such magnitude, "Kisama."  
  
Why had he just said that? 'Because you're the Perfect Soldier.' Heero almost nodded, it was reason enough, wasn't it? Duo was the cause for this confusion, the cause for this... pain... He was not there to be befriended, loved, or bonded with, the boy only lived to serve the purpose of piloting a Gundam, had he lacked such skill he'd already be dead.  
  
  
  
Duo couldn't remove his eyes. His ears were still ringing, and truly, the only sense with enough non-demolished brain cells backing them were his eyes. Still, it was a sight to see, wasn't it?  
  
He watched Heero's streamlined form and rippling muscles as he stood, poising with the grace of a panther. It galled Duo that, even after Heero had shattered his body and his heart, Duo still had the ability to see him as beautiful.  
  
The need to sleep had fled Duo, just about the same time he'd been punched in the face. He was determined to conceal his pain. It wasn't right to let a bastard like Heero know how much he cared.  
  
Duo forced himself up onto his elbows and looked up at Heero's face, as if to acknowledge his superiority. The Asian boy's expression was a plain mask, unfeeling and colourless, like his eyes.  
  
"Heh," Duo feigned a crooked grin. "Didn't have to hit me so hard, Hee- chan, I was only jokin'." He placed a hand on his cheek gingerly. "Jeez, you need to lighten up."  
  
  
  
Trowa crossed his arms and closed his eyes. He leaned against the wall, going into a light doze, ready to snap alert at a moment's notice, or the slightest sound. He didn't know how long he'd been there, but he'd taken up the position ever since arriving back with Heero. Now, the beginnings of pink light were filtering through the kitchen shutters, casting slated shadows across the tiled floor.  
  
Beneath the sweeping arc of his hair, Trowa showed no emotion. His face was a plain, lifeless mask, his body as motionless as a sculpture. Had a person been able to disregard the veils, shadows and walls, look through those dead eyes and touch the vast mind behind them, that person would wish he'd never tried.  
  
Such was the degree of emptiness Trowa endured.  
  
What existed, or didn't exist now, possessed the verve of a barren desert, the vivacity in an abyss, the soul in a black plain devoid of hurt, pleasure and the hope to escape.  
  
It just, didn't matter anymore...  
  
"Beep, beep."  
  
One emerald eye flew open.  
  
"Beep, beep."  
  
Trowa let his arms drop to his sides. He'd never shown any interest in Heero's laptop, but he knew, the 'beep, beep,' meant an incoming mission.  
  
Abstaining from thought, Trowa raised the lid on Heero's laptop, and was about to select the popup message, when an automatic scroll distracted him.  
  
  
  
Rolling up the screen was a long untitled document. Diverting his attention to the article, he skimmed the first few lines. He kept reading, his eyes growing larger in realization.  
  
  
  
'Doctor J has not been informed. Procedure dictates that I report to him, but I am resisting. For what reason, I am uncertain. Pilot 02 continues to build conflict. I was warned of this. When the mission came, I was not affected. Three weeks, and I am losing strength. I will complete the mission. The treachery does not elude me. This betrayal can___'  
  
  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
Trowa jumped and spun quickly. Seeing who it was, he regained his usual cool composure. In a flash Heero was beside him, his hand coming down on the laptop lip with a sharp snap. Trowa turned to face him, suppressing a shiver at the glacial quality to Heero's eyes.  
  
"What did you read?" Heero asked softly, dangerously.  
  
Trowa replicated Heero's stare in his own eyes. "What is the mission?"  
  
"It involves me alone___"  
  
"And Duo." Had Trowa not been trained in recognizing telltale reactions, he would have missed seeing Heero flinch.  
  
His eyes narrowed. "Why were you looking at my laptop?"  
  
"Who are you going to betray?" Trowa countered.  
  
A long, lethal silence ensued.  
  
Quick as lightning, Heero whipped out his gun and pointed it at Trowa. "This does not concern you, Barton."  
  
Trowa's heart beat hideously in his ears, Heero had never threatened him before. He'd seen Heero bully Duo around and throw in a casual 'omae o korosu' just for good measure. But for him, it was different.  
  
Heero was deadly serious.  
  
His eyes were inhuman, that gaze burned his skin. But Trowa still didn't look away. "Who are you going to betray?"  
  
Heero simply stared at him.  
  
It struck Trowa then, in a moment of clarity that, he didn't really care whether he lived or died. The adrenaline seemed to whoosh out of him. Without his sweet-eyed angel, he may as well be dead. Trowa's voice came out soft, and thick with sorrow. "I've already lost my life, Heero. Kill what's left, if you like."  
  
"Is that what you want?"  
  
An overly cheery voice stung Trowa's ears. "TROWA QUAT'S AWAKE!!!"  
  
Strength rushed back into Trowa's arms. He watched as Heero's attention shifted, and he reacted instantly. Trowa began to withdraw his gun, but Heero saw the movement and was already turning back before the boy could level the weapon. Fortunately, Duo chose to intervene, and chucked a pillow over the railing. Heero reflexively dodged, and thus, gave Trowa enough time to meet Heero gun barrel to gun barrel.  
  
Two steady pairs of eyes fell on each other in deathly silence.  
  
"Um... um guys?"  
  
The End of Chapter Six  
  
That's it! If the Japanese doesn't make sense. sorry. if you HATE lemons. read more coz I used to hate them too.  
  
Ums, my webbys gonna have pix, clips, fanart, fanfics, please ppl if I can steal urs, can u tell me? N visit my webby (when its up) ill tell yas!  
  
Next time: duo realizations, trow quat complications, trow probs, wuffie ouchies, plot continues, heero.?  
  
Sorry for taking like 2 months.  
  
Chow : ) 


	7. How could this be happening? plot chapte...

Hiya!  
  
This is a crap chapter. I couldn't be bothered editing it, so... it's gonna sound gay. Plus, I suck at angst, sorry.  
  
It's mostly plot development, so if you don't like my story except for the sex, skip it.  
  
I'm really starting to get pissed at vulnerable Duo; I tried to keep him the same as I've been doing, but yea. If u guys want him stronger or sumfin, tell me.  
  
And for the record, I only watched like 3 eps before I began writing this story. Which is why it's so OOC! Sorry... Duo's quote 'boy's don't cry,' yup, I did a good one there.  
  
Oh yea, and if u guys r getting bored, I'll stop it.  
  
Good luck  
  
Warnings: language, sap, 1x2 3x4 teeeny, blood  
  
  
  
Chapter Seven  
  
Trowa watched Heero down the slender barrel of his gun. The Perfect Soldier's eyes rested on him easily, his handgun close enough to kill, even without Heero's expertise.  
  
Heero ignored the pistol aimed at him, and instead, he returned Trowa's stare coolly; the only feature in motion, his lips. "You know, Barton, there were times when you left Quatre's side..."  
  
Trowa stiffened, the words ringing in his hears. Though he made no reply, his heart raced. 'What have you done, Heero?' He asked silently, fear turning his blood cold.  
  
"...and I never understood until now," Heero continued in that cold, flat, monotone, "why you'd want such a weak fuck."  
  
Trowa said nothing. Rage narrowed his eyes to slits, and the fingers clutching his gun trembled with the effort to remain still. Heero was lying, he had to be.  
  
As though to ridicule that thought, Heero continued, "Quat___"  
  
Trowa lunged at Heero, knocking the Japanese boy to the ground so he wouldn't have to hear any more. "You're lying, Heero," he accused.  
  
He pinned Heero with his body, but the boy wasn't struggling to break free. A look of relief crossed his features as Trowa calmly rammed the gunpoint up under Heero's chin.  
  
"Admit it." Trowa demanded.  
  
Trowa's self-restraint already hung by a thread, and Heero's silence was not making it any better. Powerless to do much else, Trowa forced out his greatest conviction. "I know you Heero," he uttered, as though to convince himself.  
  
"Admit it."  
  
Heero just stared at him.  
  
In the past, Heero had almost always been readable. Even with that emotionless mask on his features, Trowa had always been able to see through him. So why then, was this time so different? Why then, couldn't he break open Heero's shell and discover his true motives?  
  
A shiver of doubt whispered up his spine. No... it wasn't possible, was it? Heero couldn't have.  
  
"H-hey you guys - stop!" A voice sounded. Trowa looked up sharply to be greeted with the sight of Duo. He was panting lightly from the sprint down the staircase, but Trowa barely saw that at all.  
  
He snapped his gaze back to Heero, back to that look of indifference, those cold, dead eyes. 'Were you lying, Heero?'  
  
  
  
A soft, inaudible sigh escaped Heero's lips. 'It's over,' he thought. 'It's finally over. I don't have to kill anymore.'  
  
The link of trust between he and Trowa had been utterly shattered about the same time Quatre had become involved. Heero knew what the blond boy meant to him, and Trowa knew Heero would never play that way, unless he was deadly serious.  
  
Heero ruthlessly squashed his regrets before they surfaced in his eyes. If he displayed any feelings at all, Trowa would know he was lying. Trowa wouldn't kill him, and Heero could not allow that.  
  
"Admit it."  
  
Nothing.  
  
"I know you Heero."  
  
Kill me.  
  
"Admit it."  
  
An uncharted voice broke the silence. "H-hey you guys - stop!"  
  
Heero's eyes skated past Trowa, and halted at a smooth fall of chestnut. Knowing what lay beyond that, he slid his gaze down until he met a big pair of beautiful violet spheres. His heart caught in his chest. His ribs hurt with the effort to contain that small word, but it slipped right past his lips. "...Duo?"  
  
  
  
The sound of his name startled Duo into snapping his gaze to Heero. He was sure his face was a model of dumb shock as he gazed openly at the boy who'd just fucked him, ditched him, and now had the nerve to sound so... small.  
  
Sandwiched between Trowa and the tiles, Heero's liquid eyes fixed on him desperately. What he saw in them, almost made Duo break down and bawl right then and there. The word 'pain' did not begin to describe the sadness Duo witnessed in those eyes. His heart was breaking, but he couldn't bring himself to look away.  
  
"Hee-chan?" Duo whispered.  
  
It was as though that was all Heero needed to revert back to his former self. Instantaneously, the tirade of emotions fled his hard face, and that cold mask of vacancy returned.  
  
Something caught Duo's eye, and his gaze flew to Heero's arm. The hand loosely gripping Heero's handgun was flexing dangerously.  
  
Duo panicked as Heero leaned forward, his lips whispering across Trowa's ear. His eyes reached back to claim Duo's as that sensuous mouth moved slowly, accentuating each word. For not the first time, Duo cursed his inability to read lips.  
  
Then Duo's eyes grew very large.  
  
  
  
'Please... you can't ask me to go back out there...' Heero pleaded. He didn't want to leave, he hated it out there. It was so much warmer inside, and it was so nice feeling again. Heero hated the thought of losing that niceness; he didn't want to be the Perfect Soldier anymore.  
  
'Let me go... let me die... just don't make me go back out there...' His voice begged. 'Please... I want to die...'  
  
The voice replying was deep and somber. It was his voice, but kinder, softer, laced with a compassion Heero could never possess. 'Not yet, Heero. You'll never die. I'm part of you, but I'm not everything.'  
  
'Come with me then! If I can't die, come back with me... just don't make me go alone...'  
  
'You have to; you have to live for the others. If you don't go back out, you'll fail the mission. If you fail the mission, they'll die.'  
  
Heero's thoughts vanished before he could voice them. They'd all die? He couldn't handle that, they made him feel... they made him human... he didn't want them to die.  
  
Heero's tongue became thick, his voice quiet, he had to know. 'All of them?'  
  
'All of them. Even Duo'  
  
'Duo...' Heero repeated reverently.  
  
He loved the sound of that name, even if he couldn't connect it with a face. In his detached state, Heero could feel what the Heero on the outside world wanted him to do. He knew this Duo meant everything to him.  
  
Heero closed his eyes and nodded. 'I'll go," he said softly, as he drifted out of the abyss. 'For Duo, I'll go...'  
  
  
  
Heero opened his eyes.  
  
Only a second had elapsed, and Heero had no recollection of that time. His body throbbed with an inexplicably fierce need to complete his mission, and the cold clarity of it felt wonderful.  
  
Heero analyzed his position. This was almost too easy. He swiftly calculated the distance between him and Duo. The American was close, but if Heero whispered, it would be heard by Trowa alone. He secured his grip on the handgun, mindful of those large violet eyes.  
  
As Heero lifted his head, he found his own eyes strangely fixed on Duo's. For some reason, Heero could not look away. Those enigmatic orbs had him mesmerized, even without their joyful character. Why?  
  
Heero shook himself, he could address that later. Right now, as Duo would've had him say it, Heero needed to piss Trowa off enough to want him dead. Heero pushed aside his emotional quandaries; feelings were inconsequential.  
  
He leaned forward, the cool circle of metal under his chin, following the movement. His lips brushed by Trowa's ear as he whispered. "On his hips..."  
  
Trowa flinched, shoving Heero's chin up with his gun. It didn't faze Heero in the least; death threats were insignificant. "Low..." He continued, slowly lifting his hands. Duo spotted it, but the wide-eyed American was rooted to the spot.  
  
"On the left..." Heero's hand stilled, hovering inches away from Trowa's right shoulder. The tip of his handgun sighed over skin concealing an artery in Trowa's upper left arm. Perfect.  
  
Without giving him time to react, Heero dug his fingers into Trowa's shoulder and yanked him close. His lips moved against Trowa's cheek, "Did you give him that scar?"  
  
Faster than lightning, Heero drew his arm back and punched. The blow caught Trowa in the shoulder, dislodging it, and throwing his aim.  
  
A sharp, "No!" distracted Heero and he foolishly lost his concentration, losing a precious second as he looked for its source. It was far too late when he faced Trowa again, the tip of the gun barrel pressing just above his right lung. So Heero did the only thing he could do: he braced himself for the pain.  
  
"Heero!!!"  
  
The sharp crack of gunfire exploded in Heero's ears, and he smacked back down on the floor as it hit him, sucking in a breathless gasp, as pain rang up his shoulder blades. He choked, feeling the bullet tear through flesh and muscle.  
  
'The mission!' His mind shouted.  
  
Heero aimed at Trowa's arm, and fired. The force of the bullet threw him backwards and he slammed against the tiles as blood sprayed across the room and showered his face.  
  
"Heero!!!"  
  
Red stained Heero's vision, and he blinked furiously in an effort to clear it. He knew he had to shift NOW or Trowa would finish him off. Heero struck blindly, shutting his eyes and wincing as he rammed his fist up into Trowa's middle.  
  
Forcing his eyes open, Heero slid out from under Trowa and staggered to his feet, favouring his right side. His eyes burned, and each time he moved, pain lanced through his chest and he lost the ability to breathe. But Heero had suffered far worse, this paled in comparison.  
  
A second later, Trowa rose and straightened opposite him, his eyes dead with hatred. Heero stared coldly, revealing nothing. Now that he'd provided Trowa with proof, there was no turning back.  
  
Blood gushed down Trowa's arm. The amount was unnatural, Heero considered. But it didn't matter. He had hit the artery directly, and Trowa would soon suffer from blood loss if it was not sealed. He had counted on Trowa's fury to distract him from such an obvious solution.  
  
Trowa leveled the pistol with his bloodied left arm, his dislocated shoulder making it impossible for him to use his right. The arm hung uselessly at his side.  
  
"Last chance, Heero." Trowa murmured motionlessly, but from the odium in his eyes, Heero knew his last chance had come and gone.  
  
Trowa's arm muscles tensed, re-rupturing the wound and sending a fresh burst of blood down his trembling limb.  
  
"Stop it!" Duo cried from the sidelines.  
  
Heero ignored the voice. Usually something so irrelevant would not have distracted him. It distracted him more, that it did. Unable to resist, Heero slid his gaze to the right. He started, lingering on the empty area where Duo should have been, a second longer than he had intended. Where.? A strangled yelp snapped Heero's attention back to the arena.  
  
"I don't want to hurt you, Duo, but you're in my way," Trowa warned. Duo had been knocked to the floor, a rivulet of blood trickling down his cheek.  
  
"I won't let you kill him!" Duo shouted, sounding more aghast than desperate.  
  
As if Duo's words had struck a chord, Trowa whirled around, his gun aimed at the original target. Heero paid him no heed. He was too busy watching Duo, enthralled by the transformation the boy was about to undergo.  
  
Though Heero's face remained impassive, his heart raced with anticipation. He stared in awe as Duo's usually clumsy appendages adopted a smooth elegance, and that dark, deadly character manifested inside him.  
  
Trowa didn't realize the danger until it pulled him down by the legs. His eyes flared with shock when Duo caught him before he hit the tiles, and he started rolling away to get to his feet. Duo, however, was quicker than that. He promptly knocked Trowa out, letting the lifeless body flop back into his arms.  
  
Mission, accomplished.  
  
Crimson spilled onto Duo's creamy arms, and by the startled panic in his eyes, Heero knew Shinigami had vanished. He stared emotionlessly as Duo frantically ripped off his shirt and began shredding it with his hands.  
  
Cloth fibers landed in Trowa's blood, sinking in the expanding pool. Trowa's death would be unfortunate, and the unending flow of blood was adding probability points to that possibility. The increasing intensity in his side was as unusual as the rate of Trowa's blood-loss, but Doctor J had predicted this.  
  
Heero discarded his blood-saturated tank on the floor. Where the cloth had touched him, his skin burned. He pressed two fingers to his gunshot wound, ignoring the ambush of pain as he did so.  
  
Heero's hand dropped to his side. It was exactly as he had thought.  
  
  
  
Duo wanted to throw up. He was kneeling in a pool of Trowa's blood, and his hands were drenched in it. Its coppery scent wafted up his nostrils as he applied pressure to Trowa's arm, praying to a nonexistent God that the day would turn out fine.  
  
Fat chance. The streets, plus Heero, had taught him to expect the worst. They'd also taught him virtually every medical practice you could execute without the proper instruments, and he'd be fucked if this was going right.  
  
"Heero what the fuck!" Duo shouted as he bundled a great wad of his shirt and pressed it to Trowa's arm. What the hell was that bastard doing? Sure he'd been shot, but it wasn't as though he hadn't nearly killed himself like a zillion times before.  
  
"Heero, what do I do!!" Duo cried, twisting around, his hands still clutching the blood-saturated cloth. That whole pressure thing wasn't working and___  
  
Duo let the material drop. "Fuck me..." he whispered, failing to see the irony in that comment.  
  
Heero bent to retrieve his crimson tank off the floor, allowing Duo only a transitory glimpse of his blood splattered face and wounded chest. It hadn't been that bad before!  
  
Heero straightened, presenting Duo with the full, uncut view of his injury.  
  
"Heero you stupid Fuck lie down!!!" Duo cried shrilly.  
  
He pushed himself off the floor into a standing position and latched onto Heero's arm, scanning the room desperately for a place to drag him. Superman just shook him off and loomed over Duo without even trying, making him cower and slip on the blood-slick floor to land on his ass.  
  
"It will stop." Heero said flatly.  
  
"Great! Thanks, I am soo reassured," Duo drawled sarcastically, his pitch bordering on hysteria.  
  
Duo rolled his shining eyes and spun off his ass, back to the rapidly increasing blood spill. At the sight, Duo hastily began binding more material around Trowa's arm. Even though he knew it was futile, what else could he do? Sit there and watch him die?  
  
Duo knotted the makeshift bandage with a quick jerk, choking when he realized that the blooms of dark red were already surfacing. Duo bit his lip. It wasn't natural to spill this much blood, he knew it wasn't natural. The technique should have worked, it should have stopped.  
  
"It's not stopping!" Duo burst out frantically, the barricade on his hysteria finally toppling loose. "Shitshitshitshit!" Duo shouted, his eyes filming with tears as he wrapped more cloth around Trowa's wound.  
  
Once the task was finished, Duo scrambled to his feet and whirled around. He seized Heero's arms, trying to make him look at him. "Heero what do I do!" Duo asked, a tremor betraying his desperation.  
  
A thick bubble of fear welled up in his throat, leaving Duo speechless when he realized he was practically holding the Japanese boy up. Heero swayed like a drunk, his Prussian eyes glazing. Duo wished it was that simple.  
  
"It will stop," Heero muttered, his eyes fluttering shut.  
  
"No!" Duo clasped Heero's shoulders, all memories of the reaction that usually provoked, forgotten. "Heero, you're weak, tell me what to do!"  
  
Heero opened and closed his eyes like shutters, whether it was with shock or disorientation, Duo couldn't tell. "Heero..." he said insistently.  
  
Without warning, Heero's eyes flew wide open, definite shock flashing through them. Heero seemed to be staring right past him; but call him stupid, but Duo didn't really care what was behind him right now.  
  
That opinion changed drastically after Heero uttered one simple word in his ear. Duo's eyes bulged, and he spun, his jaw working until he could echo it.  
  
"Relena..."  
  
  
  
Relena passed off knocking. Albeit she was prone to simple courtesies, such consideration eluded the Gundam pilots. If was forgivable, of course, when one considered the environments they had developed in. Relena needed no invite anyway. She was desperate to see Heero, and nothing would stand in her way.  
  
He'd become such an important part of her life. So important, that it hurt to imagine life without him. Death was preferable to a worthless life, and that's what hers would have been without him. Heero's existence gave her meaning.  
  
His successes were hers, and his survival strengthened her resolve for peace instead of war. He was such a perfect example for all that she stood for, a trained assassin, a child made a killer. What situation would call for such extremity? Relena had faith in what she preached, but without Heero, her words of peace were nothing but meaningless banter. Heero was her reason. He was her life.  
  
Relena had to see him. Just once, if that was all she was allowed. A few miniscule seconds at least, would restore her strength; return her to her post in the Sanq Kingdom. His image would renew her, revitalize her, and ready her to dictate her people in the way of peace.  
  
Relena strode through the corridor, surprised to hear someone's high- pitched voice. It sounded almost, distraught... She increased her pace, her heeled shoes crushing the carpet soundlessly.  
  
"Heero?" She called softly, rolling the 'r' on her tongue with delight. The call was more for her than he, he'd flee the moment he saw her, anyway.  
  
Relena lifted her chin, her pace slowing to a more dignified speed. If Heero was to encounter her, he would see the poised woman she had become, not the obsessed child of her past. All she needed was a glance. Just one glance, and then she would be gone.  
  
Relena stepped around the last corner, and closed her eyes. She walked forward a few paces, until the carpet underfoot became tile. Her heart pounded with anticipation as Relena popped her eyes open.  
  
Horror gripped her. Her stomach convulsed as her eyes scoured the room. The floor was washed in red, Trowa, ashen-faced, was lying in the middle of it, and Duo, shirtless, was gripping her Heero's arms.  
  
In a quick flash, jealousy wreathed through her horror, just as quickly banished by a wave of guilt. How could she be so pathetic, so lacking in self-control? How, in a situation like this, could she be jealous?  
  
Her eyes fell on Heero's, her heart breaking as it always did, when she realized he was gazing into Duo's. It was never her, always Duo. He always stood between them.  
  
But she knew they weren't lovers, only Duo had those affections. Suddenly Heero looked up, his eyes meeting hers, displaying shock at the sight of her. To Relena, her name left his lips like a sweet caress, "Relena..."  
  
Duo spun, his dumb, child-like eyes widening as he repeated her name. Relena disregarded him completely; her eyes were trained on Heero alone.  
  
Her heart raced. Heero was still gazing at her, was he going to ask her for help? He'd never done such a thing before. To help Heero, to be allowed to touch him, why that would be___ she quickly snapped out of her daze.  
  
'Jesus Christ, Trowa!'  
  
"What the hell did you do, Duo?" Relena snapped as she turned on him, her voice unintentionally severe. She couldn't help it, she knew Duo loved Heero, he was a rival. Even though inside his heart, Heero loved her, she couldn't bring herself to be nice to someone who dared love Heero too.  
  
Duo flinched, washing Relena in guilt as his face crumbled. His expression turned desperate, his teary eyes begging. "Nothing! I did noth___"  
  
"Exactly!" Relena spat, bending down next to Trowa's body. "Of course you did nothing, what good are you?" She knew it was her jealousy speaking.  
  
"Just help them..." Duo whispered.  
  
Relena resented herself for hurting him; she almost wished she could pull back her words. Her voice softened as she pulled out her mobile. "I am, Duo. I'll call a private doctor."  
  
Without thinking, Relena sought out Heero's eyes again. Oh they were amazing eyes, pools of bottomless blue, liquid sapphires that mirrored his soul, always masked from her.  
  
She met his gaze, a smile curving the corners of her lips. She traced his features with her eyes, just enjoying the sheer pleasure of looking at him. As the planes of his face came into sharp focus, Relena frowned, there was.... red paint?  
  
"Heero!" She gasped, the phone slipping from her fingers. Duo expertly slid under and caught it before it smashed to bits on the floor, but Relena raced past him, her concern too narrowed to notice.  
  
"Relena!" Duo called her in his irritating voice.  
  
"Oh God Heero..." Relena whispered tenderly, running her hands all over his impassive face. "What happened to you?" She asked. She pressed one palm to his heart, feeling sticky, dried blood on her hands, but not caring. All that mattered was that she was touching Heero, and he was letting her.  
  
"Relena!"  
  
"What!" She snapped, craning her neck around. In a rush, everything came back to her. "Oh, God!" She cried, slapping a hand across her mouth.  
  
She lurched forward and snatched the phone away from Duo, dialing with frenetic haste. A hand, however immediately clamped down on her wrist and stopped her in mid-dial, her fingers poised over the keys.  
  
"Heero?" She whispered, a bewildered look in her eyes. She raised them up to meet Heero's glacial ones, her gaze filled with confusion, "what is it, Heero?"  
  
"No doctors." Heero replied coldly.  
  
"But Heero! You need___"  
  
Duo swiftly whisked the phone out of her hand and away from Heero. Standing a fair distance away, Duo growled, "what's the rest of the number, Relena?"  
  
Relena stammered under Heero's icy glare. "I-it's___"  
  
"I'm not seeing a doctor, Duo. Drop the phone."  
  
"But I___"  
  
Heero pulled out his gun and clicked the safety off.  
  
"Duo, drop the phone."  
  
Duo dropped the phone.  
  
Relena snarled at Duo. "What are you doing, you idiot! Heero needs a doctor! He's in no state to fight you and he's not that cold-blooded anyway!" She lunged for the mobile, its loud buzzing signaling that it remained alive.  
  
Heero jerked her back by the arm, eliciting a short cry of pain and surprise as she almost lost her footing. As close to passing out as Heero was, his strength remained, when he desired it. He yanked her up so she stood beside him.  
  
Misinterpreting that as an invitation, Relena turned to him, her eyes naively understanding. "Heero," she spoke softly. "It's not just you, you know. Trowa's ill too, don't you see? Don't you care about Trowa?"  
  
Heero didn't look at her. He was watching Duo, that stupid, idiot, Duo, who now squatted next to Trowa, amazement mirrored in his eyes. Heero spoke in a flat, bored, voice, "he's stopped bleeding. All he needs is a blood transfusion."  
  
"You're right..." Duo said in wonderment, his hysterics dormant for now.  
  
"He needs a doctor!" Relena cried out desperately, biting back a retort at the insolent fool. She was losing the composure she had so meticulously constructed for the public. How could Heero do this to her?  
  
  
  
Something was happening to his body. The pain had spread like wildfire. Heero's skin was aflame, and it tingled and burned with sensitivity. Thankfully however, Heero had been fed this type of agony daily during his training.  
  
They'd taught him to block his nerves through countless sessions of excruciating pain, even though it really only depended on his body's capability. He knew there was only so much he could take, and if he stayed conscious for long enough, Duo and Relena would not call a doctor.  
  
Heero trusted that the pain would pass, but a lesson learned through experience burned at the back of his mind. Heero knew he could fall unconscious at any time.  
  
  
  
"Heero!!" Relena shrieked as Heero's body flopped limply in her arms. Duo just stared in shock, while Relena crumbled beneath the weight, her legs buckling. "Duo help me!" She cried, fear feeding her strength.  
  
Immediately Duo sprung into action, swiftly ducking beneath the pair and sliding Heero into his arms. Relena begrudged Duo stealing her burden, but there was nothing she could do.  
  
Duo cradled Heero, and started moving toward the door. Relena automatically turned to follow, but Duo turned on her, hissing, "Call the doctor!"  
  
"But Heero said___"  
  
Duo silenced her with a livid glare. His eyes were still wet, but his vulnerability had disappeared. "Which do you care more for," Duo began angrily, "Heero and Trowa's lives, or Heero's obsession with the mission? Trowa has stopped bleeding, but he's weak. If he doesn't get a transfusion, he may die. And Heero? Do you know what it takes to knock the Perfect Soldier out? He's probably dying as I waste time explaining to you." Duo glared at her a moment longer, and then turned his back on her.  
  
"Call the Doctor, Relena."  
  
Relena stared in dumb shock. Nodding, she stepped backwards and crouched down to pick up the phone. She couldn't tear her eyes away until from Duo and Heero until they disappeared through the doorway.  
  
Her pale fingers trembled as she dialed.  
  
"Good morning, this is Terri speaking." A woman's voice came through.  
  
"I-I need to speak to Doctor Andem, please." Relena replied tremulously, struggling to hold her voice strong.  
  
"Please hold the line."  
  
  
  
It was like Trowa and Quatre all over again. Duo gazed down at Heero bleary- eyed, dabbing speckles of dried blood from his olive skin with a towel. The plush white cloth was blemished now, dotted with scarlet. It was funny how he cared so much about the towel.  
  
His skin was still crusted with blood, but it had cracked. The red flakes kept chafing off and rubbing into the carpet, staining that, too. Strange, how easy it was...  
  
Trowa lay lifelessly under the duvet of Duo's bed. They hadn't slotted him in next to Quat, not yet. Duo didn't want him to see his Love that way.  
  
Duo let his eyes slide over to Trowa. Gaunt from so much blood-loss, his cheekbones jutted out from his face, and the delicate skin ringing his eyes had coloured a deep shade of purplish grey. Duo was so thankful Quatre hadn't woken yet.  
  
Relena, she was bustling about in the kitchen, doing who knew what. Who cared? Duo turned back to Heero, tracing the smooth line of his jaw with his fingers. You'd think, if she loved him that much, she'd have been by his side too.  
  
"Hee-chan," Duo whispered tenderly, banishing thoughts of Relena so he could enjoy the moment. "Dai suki des, dai suki des, dai suki des - Hah!" Duo grinned triumphantly, snatching his hand back. "You can't punch me now, can ya Heero? Not so tough now."  
  
Duo smiled bitterly. He was kneeling beside the bed as his fingers lost their grip on the towel and it dropped uselessly to the carpet. It made a wet, slosh, sound as it landed, dosing Duo's leg with water.  
  
His smile became more ironic as he leaned forward and folded his arms on Heero's bed. He laid his chin on them, listening to the soft groan of springs as they shrunk under his weight.  
  
"Why do I still care about you, Hee-chan?" Duo murmured. His eyes stung with tears as he turned his head to look at him. "Why do I even give a damn after what you did to me?"  
  
He raised his head up, and reached over to take one of Heero's hands in his own. Turning it, he planted a soft kiss on the palm, drawing his lips up the smooth skin of his wrist affectionately. "All you do is hurt me, fuck me, break me, and..." Duo stopped to smear the beads of warmth running down his cheeks. "And I can't stop feeling for you..." He pressed Heero's palm to his cheek. "I can't stop wanting you..."  
  
Duo released the hand, watching it fall back limply on the sheets. He rose off his knees, and gently lowered himself down on the bed beside Heero. Very tenderly, he laid one palm on Heero's cheek and leaned down to kiss those soft, sensual lips.  
  
An inch away from the silken pillows, Duo stopped. "What is it about you, Heero, that makes me want you so much?" He asked softly, breathing Heero's air.  
  
Duo leaned in closer, so close... "Just wanted you to know, I'm only doing this to piss you off. You'd never kiss me, Hee-chan, and I..." Duo trailed off, sensing someone behind him.  
  
Duo rolled off the bed and straightened, turning around. "Relena," he acknowledged, glaring at the shadow that blocked out the sun.  
  
"Hey, Duo," Relena responded, her voice surprisingly kind. She gestured with a wave of her hand, "come on Duo, let's get out of this room, it'll do us some good."  
  
  
  
As much as she regarded Duo as a threat, Relena couldn't help feeling sympathetic toward him. After all, they were in exactly the same position. 'And I can't stop feeling for you... I can't stop wanting you,' Duo had said, unaware of her presence then.  
  
Oh Heero, she sighed to herself. See what you do to us? Relena almost felt a kinship with Duo. He was trapped, like her. Only her chances were far better than Duo's, and that only made her empathize for him more.  
  
The Doctor was yet to arrive and patch the boys up, and Relena had to force her fear that he wouldn't come into the very pit of her stomach. She closed her eyes resolutely. Relena could not afford to think so negatively. For Heero's sake, she had to keep her head.  
  
Relena opened her eyes and looked around the room. She suppressed the insistent urge to wrinkle her nose at her surroundings. Though she had the funds to afford far better luxuries for the pilots; none of them desired such opulence. It was a foolish undertaking to offer gifts, for they were always refused politely, the pilots claiming such wealth could be traced back to her.  
  
But surely she could provide some assistance! This room's only adornments consisted of three straight-backed chairs, and an awkward hexagonal table between them.  
  
Relena seated herself with grace, crossing her legs daintily at the ankle, hoping the hem of her white dress wouldn't brush the floor. To distract her, she settled her gaze on Duo, who was sprawled languidly opposite her.  
  
"So Duo," Relena began politely, "how have you been?"  
  
Duo just glared at her darkly. He looked a mess. His supple locks of chestnut sprang out in odd directions and those usually sparkling eyes had a dull, defeated look about them. It was almost like that cheery part of him had been brutally blunted and locked away.  
  
Relena shook herself. Impossible. Duo was periodically foolishly optimistic, and that stupidity was so difficult to arrest he was frustrating at times. Duo could never lose his strongest personality trait.  
  
Then again, she considered, since when had Duo voluntarily ceased talking? Relena frequently sat with he and the other pilots, listening to him chatter endlessly about anything, the entire conversation was always an animated performance. But now, he simply sat. And glared.  
  
That look was starting to unnerve her. With nothing else to do, Relena lapsed back into the task of analyzing Duo's appearance. His pants were blotted with blood, and his shirtless upper body sported a large, fading, hand-shaped bruise. Relena was shocked to note another similar discolouration on his cheek. Where had they come from?  
  
Far too courteous to ask, Relena cleared her throat delicately. If Duo wouldn't answer a civil, standard question, there was no hope for him. She was a master of making light, of dark situations, but clearly Duo wasn't in the mood.  
  
Trying to pitch her voice as though it was an absent thought, Relena asked, "How's Heero been?"  
  
Duo wasn't fooled in the least. So he isn't as dumb as he looks, Relena thought, curiously. Perhaps they could achieve intellectual conversation.  
  
She perused him hopefully, wondering if he would answer. His voice came out with toned aggression. "Heero's been dandy, we all have." From his manner, Relena doubted the validity of that answer, but she accepted what small tidbits of dialogue Duo's intelligence offered.  
  
Relena cringed as she realized the path her thoughts had taken. It was pure envy obviously, that made her so contemptuous of Duo. Of course he possessed excellent mental capability; he was a Gundam pilot for God's sake!  
  
"Oh Duo," Relena sighed remorsefully, hating herself for how she thought. "I'm so sorry for what I said before..." she trailed off. How could she rectify what she'd said? "You were completely undeserving of the names I've called you and I know you always act in the pilots' best interest." She laid her hands on the table imploringly. "Can you forgive me Duo? I never meant what I said."  
  
Her heart skipped with happiness as Duo's austere expression softened. Gradually, a grin climbed up his amiable face, warming her to the core. "No sweat, Lena."  
  
The tension left her in a rush. She smiled faintly. That personal nickname had been adopted by a fonder Duo a long time ago; she'd thought he'd forgotten.  
  
"I know you were just worried," Duo smiled.  
  
Relena's smile detracted ever-so-slightly. She could sense a change in Duo, but she was in no mood to pursue it. It was probably a trivial matter anyway, where he wouldn't want her intervention.  
  
"I was worried, and I know that's no excuse." Relena sighed, "I love him so much, I just need him to show his feelings, that's all."  
  
Duo's form stiffened noticeably, and she cursed herself for her carelessness. She must bear in mind Duo's fallacies with Heero; she should have been more considerate.  
  
"I don't think that'll be happenin' soon, Lena," Duo replied.  
  
Relena forced an impetuous retort down her throat. Duo was entitled to his own opinions. Smiling tersely, she argued, "Oh I know it doesn't seem that way, but he's truly a kind heart, and I know he loves___ I mean... I know he loves life, he wants to live it."  
  
Duo cocked an eyebrow, his lips quirking slightly. "I'm sorry to break this to ya sweetheart, but Heero's not into girls."  
  
Relena's eyes widened at his audacity, how could Duo speak of such an indecent thing so casually? She cleared her throat again, her expression slightly irked. "Heero is not a... a homosexual, Duo, and," Relena paused, her voice honing to a dagger's point, "I am sorry to break this to you, but Heero loves me, and you... you can't change that by simply saying otherwise."  
  
Something stirred in Duo's eyes as he leaned forward in his chair, his braid slipping off his shoulder and tumbling into his lap. "Don't get me started, Relena," he warned.  
  
Stung, Relena bit her lip. She'd deserved it, but that didn't mean it hurt any less. Again, the fond nickname had been substituted for a cold, formal 'Relena.' The familiarity in Duo's eyes was gone. "Duo..." she began.  
  
Duo's smile didn't quite reach his eyes, "Don't, Relena. There's no point. Heero's gay, and there's no point in denying that either, but you seem to have found grounds, and I respect that."  
  
It was Relena's turn to glare, hot fury flushing her cheeks. Was he mocking her? "Now you listen here, Duo. Heero is NOT gay, and he does not love you. These delusions should stop; I've seen how Heero treats you."  
  
Duo's blasé expression distorted and she saw her words had hit the mark. A hint of regret tingled in the back of her mind.  
  
"And how do you think he treats me?" Duo asked quietly.  
  
Relena sighed, her anger swiftly replaced by pity. "I'm sorry, Duo. I wish I could lie to you, but it's for your own good. I've seen the way you look at Heero, and I won't let you mislead yourself any longer."  
  
A mixture of pity and regret etched in her features, Relena reached across the table, and took Duo's hands in her own. "Heero doesn't love you, Duo, he never did, and he never will. He threatens your life, he won't talk to you, he ignores you, and no matter what you do, he doesn't care." She paused, allowing her words to sink in. "If Heero loved you, why would he hit you like that?" She pointed at the contusion on his chest.  
  
From the shock in Duo's eyes, he hadn't expected her to know. "I'm sorry, Duo, but he doesn't love you. You don't hurt the ones you love. That's the way it is." She squeezed Duo's hand lightly.  
  
His eyes exposed hidden pain, the expressive globes shining with the beginnings of tears. Relena's heart went out to him. 'Now he knows,' she thought sadly. Although from the look in Duo's eyes, he had known all along.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Duo..." She crooned softly.  
  
Duo ripped his hands away from her. He bounded to his feet, knocking his chair over backwards in the process. Relena gazed up at him with sympathy in her eyes.  
  
"Duo..."  
  
He shook his head at her, "You're wrong, Relena." He said softly. He began backing away, tears spilling down his heart shaped face. "You're wrong, and I'll prove it to you."  
  
Duo staggered backwards, his unsteady steps catching on a chair leg.  
  
"Duo..." she tried again. Poor Duo...  
  
He smiled at her. "Tell me when the Doc comes, Lena," he said, his smile faltering. Relena nodded sadly and looked down at her shoes. She couldn't bear to see Duo this way; it hurt her to tell him, too.  
  
"Of course I will, Duo."  
  
She looked up to reassure him, but he had already left. "Oh Duo..." Relena sighed, putting a hand to her face. Her whole world would have collapsed, had she been told so harshly.  
  
"Thank God Heero loves me, I'd die otherwise."  
  
  
  
Duo didn't go straight to his room, where Heero and Trowa lay. Instead, he flung himself into the first empty room he could find. Leaning against the locked door, he squeezed his eyes shut, feeling tears roll down his cheeks.  
  
Damn her. Damn Relena and her cutting tongue. Her cruel, honest, cutting tongue. Those words, only laced with the truth really, had hurt him more than he would ever let her know.  
  
And when had Duo ever claimed that Heero loved him! Never! He had never presumed anything of the Perfect Soldier, not even to himself. She'd seen the way he looked at Heero his ass! It was lust in Duo's eyes, that was all. Simple lust. And Duo had never hoped for anything more.  
  
Duo opened his eyes, rocking his head back so he could see the ceiling. When his blurry vision refocused, he tilted his gaze to the floor. With a jolt, Duo realized he was in Wufei's quarters. Wufei?  
  
Wufei?! To have not heeded this morning's ruckus you had to be either unconscious, or stoned, and as much as he would've liked to see Wufei rocking on cloud nine, the latter seemed more likely.  
  
Duo scanned the room quickly, his gaze reeling back to a slumped outline on the candle-lit floor.  
  
"Wufei....?" He whispered, catapulting himself off the door and rushing to the figure's side. Once there, he dropped to his bruised knees with a wince, and cautiously propped Wufei up by his back, shaking him.  
  
"Wu-man, you dead?" Duo asked, trying to curb the anxious tone in his voice. He blinked away tears. Not another friend. If Wufei was down, Relena might try and talk to him again.  
  
Duo broke into a hysterical laugh. He held Wufei up, supporting him under the arms so the Chinese boy's back rested against him. Duo glanced at Wufei, biting his lip as Wufei's head lolled lifelessly against his chest. "Wu man?" Duo begged.  
  
He jerked him up, jangling him again. For once, he actually wanted Wufei to jolt awake and punch him. "Come on buddy, time for wakies," Duo grinned, his voice wavering.  
  
The Chinese boy's eyelids fluttered. Lightheaded relief swooped through Duo and he took a moment to calm his hammering heart. He tipped his head to the side to see Wufei. "You alright?"  
  
He felt his braid slip off his shoulder and swing behind him like the pendulum of a clock. Irritated, Duo caught it and tossed it around his neck, cringing when it hit Wufei in the face.  
  
"Eh, Wuffie, you there?"  
  
He squawked in surprise when a low growl rumbled in Wufei's throat and a tug on his braid jerked him forward. "You're not dead!" Duo cried, pulling Wufei into a fierce hug and squeezing hard.  
  
Wufei struggled weakly, but Duo just embraced him like a big cuddly Chinese teddy bear. "Wu-bear!" Duo squealed delightedly, pressing a sloppy kiss to the pissed off boy's cheek.  
  
A violent yank on his braid reminded Duo that Wufei still had some strength left. He yipped uncertainly and untangled his arms, grinning at Wufei's fierce, I'll-get-you-back-for-this glare.  
  
"Bleuh," Duo stuck out his tongue, the animation back in his eyes.  
  
  
  
Quatre awoke in complete darkness. He shrunk beneath the bedding, his eyes darting from side to side. "T-Trowa?" He stammered. The air around him was silent.  
  
He crawled out from under the damp sheets, shivering from the cold. "A-are you there...? Quatre whispered, extending his weak arms. Usually Trowa gathered him up in their divan, pulling him back to the bed. Quatre would smile and cuddle up against his body, feeling strong, warm arms wrap around him.  
  
There was none of that now. Quatre closed his eyes, growing scared. Edging backwards, he gasped in fright when his back hit the headboard. Quatre looked around, disoriented, and then curled his knees into his chest and hugged himself. He shuddered and ducked his head, holding back the urge to cry.  
  
Why was it so dark? Even at night, there should at least be a sliver of moonlight. Quatre trembled, he felt so terribly alone. Icy fingers came through a window he couldn't see and rifled his floppy bangs. He buried his face in his arms. "Trowa...where are you....?"  
  
  
  
Relena clamped a hand across her mouth as tears stung her eyes. She'd never watched anything so tragic. Why he, of all the pilots? How could God do this to him, how could he impair one of his kindest angels?  
  
She struggled not to make a sound. She didn't want to be the one to tell him, not yet. She couldn't bear too; the sight alone was just too much. To have to listen to him weep at his loss....?  
  
An inarticulate sound escaped Relena's lips. She gasped and pressed her hand against her mouth, but it was too late. The boy's eyes flashed wide, and he looked up, staring emptily into space.  
  
"Trowa?" Quatre called hopefully. He squinted as he tried to see past invisible barriers. "Trowa is that you? Please, can you turn on the lights, I can't see you."  
  
Relena bit her lower lip, tasting blood on her tongue.  
  
The lights were already on.  
  
The whole room was bathed in a yellow glow. The bulb overhead shined brightly, and the light streaming in through the door illuminated what that didn't. Quatre's pale skin was gold with it and his eyes turned quicksilver as the light hit them.  
  
"Oh Quatre..." she said mournfully.  
  
His smooth brow knitted with confusion. "Relena, is that you? What are you doing here? What's wrong? I can feel something's wrong, Relena?"  
  
She stifled a sob.  
  
Quatre uncoiled from his fetal position and came toward her, crawling blindly across the piles of bed sheets. "Relena, can you turn on the lights? It's so dark I can barely see..."  
  
Her lips wouldn't move.  
  
"Relena? Relena, are you there?"  
  
"I-I'm here."  
  
"Is there something wrong with the lights?"  
  
She was silent.  
  
Quatre pulled to a stop where he knelt, sitting back on his heels. "Relena?" He asked, scanning the room uncomprehendingly. "Why can't I see you?" Desperation was entering his voice.  
  
"Quat___"  
  
"Relena, why can't I see you?"  
  
"Quat..."  
  
"Can't you turn on the lights?"  
  
She said nothing.  
  
His eyes filmed over with tears as his voice rose shrilly. "Relena can't you turn on the lights? Please turn on the lights?"  
  
Relena pressed her lips together. How could this be happening?  
  
"Relena....?" His voice broke, "Relena, where are you?"  
  
She couldn't bring herself to reply.  
  
Quatre's lower lip trembled. First one tear, and then a second, rolled down his pale cheeks. He looked up slightly, glistening blue eyes staring unseeingly into her face. Another tear trickled down his face as his lips lifted in the slightest, softest smile.  
  
"Relena?" He asked quietly.  
  
"I'm here."  
  
His sweet gaze followed the sound of her voice, finally resting on a wall beside her. Her heart broke as he smiled, his sad eyes shining.  
  
"I'm blind, aren't I?"  
  
Silence.  
  
  
  
"I'm so sorry Quat..."  
  
  
  
The End of Chapter Seven  
  
Next time: duo realizations, duo bastardizations, wuffie gets it on with someone I wont reveal, maybe 3x4 sadness, angst for all.  
  
I no it was crap so pleeease don't review 2 say so. If u want me 2 keep going, can u say? N u don't have 2 b nice, just do it if u actually care  
  
Sorry, but I had 2 introduce Relena, which meant an extra 3000 words so I know that was a bit boring, but hey. I had 2 giv u guys a boring chap coz if I hadn't it'd be like 20000 words, and that's just too long.  
  
Oh and I don't actually know how you'd look after you lost lots of blood, so if that was wrong, just imagine it how it should be. Same with all the other medical stuff.  
  
Chowchow! 


	8. screw titles screw smmaries just read it...

Hellllooooooooo allll!  
  
3x4 sap, 1xR (euuu), _?x5, teeny language, bit of angst (overall not much)  
  
thankuu 2 every1 who reviewed last chapter!! U all nicied me out! I won't bore u guys by actually saying stuff individually but I really, really, really appreciated them!!!  
  
:D yayyayyay!  
  
Here u go, unfortunately its kinda short :( but I should haf another up soon. And duo's not a bastard yet. sorry!  
  
  
  
Chapter Eight  
  
Duo clasped the frail hand softly, towing his pajama-clad friend towards his lover. "This way, Quat, we're here___" Quick as lightning, Quat's hand clamped down on his wrist, his grip cutting off the circulation to Duo's fingers.  
  
Duo winced. "Ow."  
  
Quat's vice-grip didn't ease, so Duo, holding back tears, continued trying to tug the boy gently. Quatre was immobilized, his muscles were rigid with tension, and his body had turned as stiff as a board. Prying his own lips open, Duo urged quietly. "Come on Quat, Trow doesn't have all day."  
  
The boy showed no response, so Duo, getting slightly worried, nudged him with an elbow. Like a child waking from a nightmare, Quatre blinked owlishly, and his panic-struck expression vanished. Quat's fingers loosened, and Duo hastily made his escape, slithering around the boy until he stood opposite him. "Quat...?" He asked.  
  
A long silence followed before the blonde actually spoke. "You know, Duo," he began softly, his eyes drifting past Duo's head. "The worst part of this is, is that I won't ever see Trowa again. I'll feel him, and I'll know he's there but..." Quatre trailed off, smiling ironically. "I won't be able to play pretend anymore Duo. Trowa never loved me, but sometimes when he smiled, I could make myself believe he did."  
  
Duo was painfully silent, everything inside him screamed denial. Taking a step forward, he grasped Quat's forearms lightly, and inclined his head. "Quat, you don't know what you're saying, of course Trowa loves you, he's always loved you." Unwilling to let the boy chicken out, Duo placed a forefinger under his chin and lifted it. Although he knew Quat saw nothing but blackness, he hoped he was picturing Duo in his mind's eye.  
  
"Quat, listen to me." Duo ordered.  
  
"Yes, Duo?"  
  
Seeing as he was obliged to speak, Duo hemmed his hands around Quat's and added a squeeze for effect. "Quat, if Trowa doesn't love you, I'm not gay. And I'm sure we can all profess to that."  
  
The Arab stifled a soft laugh, but his eyes lacked their usual luster. "You're not that gay Duo, you've had girls before."  
  
Sputtering indignantly, Duo said, "Quat; girls are a thing of my past, I'm very much a faggot these days." The other smiled exasperatedly, and Duo grinned. "But that wasn't the point." Raising Quat's chin to get his attention, Duo spoke softly, "Quat, no one loves you more than that guy over there. I've seen the way he looks at you when you don't know. He stares at the back of your head every chance he gets, you think you're the only one who does that?" Duo added lightly, "now that you can't tell, he'll probably watch you 24/7 while you're sitting there pining away for something that's already yours, and has been yours."  
  
Duo laid a hand on the small boy's shoulder, rotating him en route for Trowa's bed. He gave Quat a gentle push forward. "Trowa gave you his heart a long time ago, Quat, you just didn't recognize it for what it was."  
  
Silence fell across them both.  
  
After several long moments had passed, Duo started fiddling with the tail of his braid. He ventured a swift glance at the blonde, and was instantly relieved to see a generous, lovely smile. "Thanks, Duo, I'm so lucky to have a friend like you."  
  
Duo snorted. And he was lucky to have a fuckbuddy like Heero.  
  
"-Can you take me to him please?' Quat asked softly, taking Duo's hand.  
  
Quat waited a moment, and when Duo didn't respond, his face puckered in a frown. "Duo?" He asked, puzzled.  
  
Quat released a startled squeak when Duo hoisted him up into his arms, and carried him the rest of the way to Trowa's bedside. Duo plunked his flailing victim down cheerily. "There you go, Quat."  
  
The rumpled pilot glowered at him. "I didn't mean like that, Duo."  
  
"I know." Duo chirped. Quat was about to make some half-hearted retort, but Duo put his hands on the smaller boy's shoulders and turned him so he was facing Trowa's bed. "He's right there, Quat."  
  
Duo started heading for the door, and then realized Quatre couldn't see his departure. Glancing over his shoulder before he slipped out, Duo called. "I'm leaving now Quat, holler when you need to... go somewhere."  
  
Quat nodded, though Duo doubted he'd comprehended a word. His trembling hand slid across a cushion, on a mission to touch Trowa's face. In respect of his friend, Duo slid out the door and shut it softly behind him.  
  
Grateful to be out of sight, he closed his eyes and leaned his back against the shoddy timber, willing energy back into his exhausted body. After recounting yesterday's tale to Wufei, being lavished with another delightful talk from Relena and spending a sleepless night, bawling and hugging Quat, Duo was spent. His emotional reserves were dried up. It was useless trying to feel, the only thing that could heal him now, was time. Like so many others.  
  
There was still one thing left to do, but Duo desperately needed to rest. Opening hot and gritty eyes, he clenched his teeth, braced a foot against the door, and shoved himself off it with an exaggerated heave. Telling himself he'd do whatever it was he'd planned to do, tomorrow, Duo dragged his feet down the corridor, retreated into the first empty bedroom he could find and collapsed on the divan, falling into a deep, exhausted, sleep.  
  
  
  
At the last, wavering moment, Quatre yanked back his hand and pulled it to his chest. He stared, wide-eyed at the blackness for a while, and then let his hand fall limply to his side.  
  
Rather unsteadily, Quatre smiled for the other boy's benefit. "Hey, Trowa..." he exhaled softly.  
  
Gathering courage, Quatre reached out to clasp the bed frame, and slowly lowered himself to his knees. He fixed his eyes where he thought Trowa's face must be, and continued quietly. "Duo told me what happened. We don't know why you shot Heero, but, according to Wufei, that justifies him shooting you."  
  
Trembling slightly, Quatre slid out a hand. He closed his eyes as it ascended the mound that was Trowa's arm, and as he moved to withdraw it, he found himself held there by an intangible force. Quatre sighed contentedly, lapping his fingers against the silky skin.  
  
Remembering what he'd come for though, Quatre frowned. He quickly pulled back and dropped down on his heels, folding both hands in his lap. Quatre ducked his head, bangs of blonde falling forward to hood his face. "I... I'm sorry Trowa." Quatre whispered. "I know you can't hear me, but... I'm sorry for what I did to you."  
  
Tears glistened in his eyes. "It's just... I thought you loved me. You always called me Love, and Little One, and yours, and that night when we came back from the mission and you were hurt... and I tried to kiss you, I..." his voice dropped to a whisper, "I thought I saw love in your eyes, I thought you wanted me too... I'd never been so happy in all my life when you kissed me back, Trowa but..." two tears spilled down his cheeks, "but then you pushed me away..."  
  
Quatre lapsed back into silence. He played with his hands, flipping them in his lap. He was glad Trowa hadn't heard his pathetic excuse for an apology. Trowa had spent 15 years of his life closed off in an emotional shell, and in that time he'd only ever allowed one person in. Quatre had wriggled beneath Trowa's armour, snuggled up close, and thinking too much of the friendship, had abused what Trowa had never given anyone else. He'd broken the rules, and had probably destroyed the only amity Trowa had ever known. And now this was all he could come up with?  
  
After a while, a small smile formed on Quatre's lips. Using a sleeve, he wiped his cheeks clean of the tear tracks. Thinking of the better days, or rather, nights, he said, "You used to sing to me." His voice was laced with happiness as he continued, "You thought I never knew, but I was always awake, and I was always listening."  
  
He opened his eyes. It didn't matter, shut or open; the room looked the same anyway. He sought out some shape along the black landscape, but sight was now only a thing of the past. "You know that night, Trowa, when we kissed?" Quatre asked, his voice almost matter-of-fact, "That was the first time you didn't sing to me."  
  
He lowered his lids, yearning for Trowa's warm embrace, that soft, soothing voice. "Little One..." Quatre murmured quietly, "Though you came from Heaven..."  
  
*Flashback*  
  
"To Heaven, you will return..."  
  
Quatre cuddled closer, sighing softly as Trowa's arms wrapped around him. "Little angel," Trowa whispered, "Though you'd fallen..."  
  
He paused to brush the locks of platinum back from his angel's forehead. He pressed a soft kiss to the exposed skin, not looking away as he murmured, "you taught me love, I'd never earned..."  
  
*End*  
  
Quatre smiled at the memory, his eyes sad. "You never called me Little One again, too."  
  
Quatre rose up, his fingers skating across the blankets until they found what he was looking for. Slipping his hand down Trowa's arm, Quatre intertwined their fingers with a relaxed sigh. He folded an arm beneath his head and lay it down next to Trowa's arm, closing his eyes.  
  
"Little love..."  
  
  
  
The Next Day  
  
  
  
*Heero's flashback*  
  
A six year old boy struggled in leather restraints, his head whipping from side to side with terror. "J? Doctor J?"  
  
One figure in a white jacket stood at each corner of the board he laid on, ensuring the four buckled bindings would hold him fast. Doctor J strode into the room, his coat billowing out behind him.  
  
"Doctor J! What's happening?" Heero called, his Prussian eyes filled with worry. "Doctor J!" He cried again when the old man swept past. He strained against his bonds, bucking off the angled board with clenched teeth. "Doctor J!"  
  
"Silence him," The scientist ordered.  
  
Heero's eyes grew wide as a man grasped his mouth in his hand, uttered two words, and then freed him. "Who are you?" Heero asked. Without hesitation the dark-haired man slapped him, cranking his head to the side. "Shut up," he repeated.  
  
Heero obeyed instantly, clamping his lips together.  
  
"Heero," a voice echoed out over the amplifier. Heero stiffened, listening intently for his next words. "Now I need you to hold still, Heero, this may hurt a bit."  
  
Heero blinked. Raising his face to the ceiling, he saw a huge circular sift- like object sliding toward him. It radiated an odd light, one Heero didn't recognize. He watched, fascinated as the edge touched his skin.  
  
His neck prickled.  
  
"Try not to make a noise, Heero."  
  
A burning sensation slithered across his body, under his skin, through his blood. It started as small pinpricks and grew until razor blades stabbed at every patch of skin and bone. It crawled up his neck and scorched his face, "It's almost over. You're doing good."  
  
Heero didn't hear him. All he could feel was the pain, the incomprehensible, untold agony. Heero arched his back in convulsion, violently snapping the leather on his left wrist. The others rushed forward to rebind him, and the voice echoed in his ears, "Calm down, Heero."  
  
Heero ripped the leather on his right arm, thrusting the men aside who tried to hold him. They were flung halfway across the room, but Heero didn't notice, slamming back down on the board as another fit of pain seized him. Strong hands dug into his flesh, holding him down, and the agony returned with vengeance. "Heero." the voice reprimanded. Heero couldn't stop himself, he couldn't bear it. His child's mind wasn't capable of holding back the sound. As Heero's world exploded, he threw his head back, opened his mouth, and screamed, and screamed, and screamed.  
  
*End*  
  
Heero's eyes snapped open and he pulled in a ragged gasp, pushing himself up off the bed. Pain lanced up his side like barbed wire, but he ignored it. Having re-experienced one of his earliest training sessions, it seemed pathetic to wince at something so negligible.  
  
In a glance he saw Duo, Relena and the Doctor by his bed, each pair of eyes growing wide with astonishment.  
  
"Heero!" Relena gasped, her shrill cry shattering the silence. She rushed to his side, fussing and propping him up with her hands. One supported him on the back, and the other fell lightly onto his abdomen. "Heero are you alright?" She asked, genuine concern in her eyes.  
  
"He's awake." Duo said, dumbfounded.  
  
Ignoring Duo's obvious pronouncement, Heero thrust Relena's hands away. She gave a little squeak, and before the pilot, Doctor or fanatic could stop him, Heero flung back the sheets and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Straightening neutrally, he didn't spare them a glance as he walked out the door.  
  
"Heero!" Relena cried, dashing out after him, "Heero wait!"  
  
  
  
Duo rolled his eyes as he watched her go. He could've told Relena there was no use chasing the guy, but since she got such a kick out of pursuing her potential killers, he let her leave. As much as Duo cared for his 'friends', he wasn't particularly partial to death by Heero. And so he figured he'd lay low for a while, chill for a few minutes, wait until Heero's destructive impulses were sufficiently subdued.  
  
"H-he sh-sh-shouldn't be able to walk..." Remembering the Doctor, Duo spun around, a huge grin replacing his shock. "Wh-who___"  
  
"Oh, Heero?" Duo cut in, backing towards the exit. "Nah!" He waved his hand wildly, "you don't have to worry 'bout him! He's a joker, you know? A real funnyman, you know the kind! Being a Doc and all you must have a lot of experience in that field!" Duo turned to look down the corridor, "Knowing Hee-chan he's probably playing a prank right now!!! HahaHA!"  
  
Duo added, "I better go help."  
  
Duo darted off down the hall, his grin falling away like a mask. That idiot! That damn hypocrite! Always accusing Duo of endangering the mission, and there he goes, trudging off down the hall like it doesn't matter that he was half-dead two seconds ago. By all rights, Duo now had the authority to whack Heero around, return the favour so to speak.  
  
He scuttled halfway down the stairs and threw his legs up and over the railing, free falling for six feet before he landed painfully flat-footed on an unyielding carpet floor. Now even more pissed off; Duo straightened and narrowed his eyes. But before he could transfer his foot from carpet to tile, Duo halted, the carpet burns on his heels throbbing.  
  
Duo stared, unable to register what he saw. Daytime sounds blurred together like dilute paint, and the only distinctive noise became the cold thundering inside his chest. Confusion rendered his voice unsteady. "What...?" He whispered.  
  
Duo squinted; hurt stealing across his eyes. Was that Heero and Relena? His eyes narrowed, it couldn't be. Heero hated Relena, or at least something close! So why was he doing... 'that' with her? One olive-skinned hand cupped the girl's head, while the other lifted her chin. The girl sighed, and a shiver rolled up her spine, his hand slipping gently down her waist and pulling her close.  
  
It wasn't possible! Duo rose up on the balls of his feet and strained to see past that head of sandy-blond hair. The boy's back was braced against the wall, his face so well hidden that Duo couldn't be sure of his identity. Then the girl tipped her head to the side, and her long mane swished to her shoulder, revealing that gorgeous, Japanese face.  
  
For a split second, those cold Prussian eyes stared at him, and then Heero turned away. Duo's jaw locked as Heero's eyes fluttered closed, and he lowered his lips to Relena's. He nuzzled Relena's lips softly, and that hurt all the more because Heero had never been tender with him. It hurt, and it burned, but Duo kept on watching.  
  
Relena moaned into Heero's mouth, her arms rising and winding around his neck as he deepened the kiss. Looking away with disgust, Duo decided he best leave before memories of Relena kissing gave him nightmares.  
  
Duo pivoted stiffly. But as he walked to the base of the stairs, he forced himself to relax. Duo uncurled his clenched fists, and loosened his rigid jaw. Now that he was sufficiently calmed down he could start thinking tactics. Duo began climbing the stairs. Heero wanted to play games? Fine. If Heero wanted games, he'd get them. That bastard could toy with Relena all he wanted, because Duo was the master at sex ploys.  
  
He wandered down the hallway, vowing something he was confident he could fulfill. Spying the bedroom at the end of the hall, Duo grinned inwardly. Duo had let Heero play with him for far too long, and now he was going to get his revenge. He pulled to a stop in front of a closed door, contemplating silently. What he was about to do, left no room for regrets.  
  
Duo clutched the door handle, turned it until he heard a sharp click, and slipped inside.  
  
  
  
He stared at her. Not strongly enough to make her wilt, but enough to make her squirm. "How long was I in coma?" Heero asked.  
  
Relena blinked. "Not long, two nights..."  
  
"Hn." Heero nodded, reaching for his laptop. He stopped a few-inches short, sharp pain spearing up his side. Willing himself to conquer it, Heero pushed on, shutting the agony out as it increased.  
  
"Heero!" Relena reproved, snatching the laptop out of his reach. "You mustn't stress your body before it's at its full strength." She passed the laptop gently into his hands. "There you go. You must ask next time, alright?"  
  
Feeling the needles in his side fade away, Heero took the offered computer without a word of thanks. He heard the muffled plunk of a painful landing from not far off, and recognizing that clumsiness, Heero smirked.  
  
"You know," a voice cut in. "Duo adores you, but he should know what's truly in your heart." Pressing a hand to her chest, Relena continued, "I tried to tell him, but he wouldn't accept the truth. You must tell him, Heero."  
  
Usually, Heero ignored her idle chatter, but her mention of Duo had snagged his complete and utter attention. His reaction disturbed him.  
  
"...Now I know you don't want to hurt him Heero, but you must prove you don't love him. I know it's hard, but sometimes we are forced to be cruel, to be kind. In this situation, it would be kinder to let him know the truth."  
  
Heero had stopped listening.  
  
Spying Duo out of the corner of his eye, Heero grabbed Relena and pulled her against him. She gasped, startled, and clung to him, her cheeks flushing a deep shade of red. Not leaving a moment to spare, Heero passed off her embarrassment as unimportant, and leaned his back against the wall, weaving his fingers through her hair until they cupped the back of her head.  
  
He felt no guilt using her this way; it would eventually go to the cause of peace further down the track, anyhow. Moving with deliberate tenderness, Heero slid a hand under her chin and lifted it, sensing those eyes still on them. "Heero," Relena whispered, not understanding the charade.  
  
She closed her eyes as Heero lowered his lips, and as her hair fell to the side of him, Heero couldn't help but look up. Duo's beautiful, hurting violet eyes bored into him, tugging at his heart. But this weakness he felt was dangerous, so forbidden in a soldier. Heero closed his eyes and met Relena's kiss halfway, strangling the instinct to thrust her aside.  
  
Why wasn't Duo leaving? Out of the corner of his eye, Heero could still see that black-dressed figure. He should have gone by now. Perhaps Heero needed to strengthen the fervor. Pulling Relena tight against his body, Heero invaded her mouth with his tongue, feeling paltry arms wrap around his neck as she moaned.  
  
He listened for the sound of rapid, desperate footfalls on the stairs, but instead, all he heard was a soft, controlled ascent. Had that been Duo? Relena's wet tongue caressed his, wrenching him back to a painful reality. Sickened, Heero excised the chains binding his instincts, and literally shoved her off him.  
  
A startled cry left her throat as she was thrown backwards, the table behind, saving her from a nasty fall.  
  
Heero took a step forward, whipped out his gun. "Who called the Doctor?" He asked her coldly.  
  
Relena's eyes widened. "Heero...?" She asked, so confused.  
  
"Why did you call a Doctor?"  
  
Relena blinked. "Well I." She floundered for words, "I___ it was Duo really, he told me___"  
  
"Duo." Heero echoed. He slid the gun back into his spandex, turning to leave. Relena opened her mouth to speak, but he ignored her, brushing aside her protests and hands. His pivoted on his heel, and began gliding out the door, 'Duo no baka.'  
  
  
  
Expecting to encounter a door, Quatre lost his balance and began to fall face-first into the floor. His arm lashed out and he clung to the empty doorframe in the nick of time. Scrabbling for a proper hold, Quatre hauled himself vertical again, breathing heavy. He swung around to the inside wall for support and laughed, his heart thudding against his ribcage, "Wow," he breathed.  
  
After a minute of recovery, Quatre was ready to venture out into the unknown again. He had almost died about ten times today, and there was no way he was stopping there. Facing the treacherous doorway, Quatre braced his hands on its frame. "Ow!" Quatre yelped, recoiling. Realizing what the sharp pain had been, he sighed. "Splinter..."  
  
Deciding there was nothing he could do at present, Quatre stretched out his arms. He took a step forward, and panicked as his foot plummeted far lower than he'd predicted. Just as he was reaching for support to halt his fall, the earth slammed back up to meet his foot, jarring his body and shooting fierce arrows up his shinbone. "Doorstep..." He groaned.  
  
His other foot followed the second more gracefully, and Quatre reached the outside yard without further injury. Smiling with pride, he gulped a lungful of Earth's precious atmosphere, feeling warmth - daylight - spill across his features.  
  
Quatre squatted down by the door, resting his elbows on his thighs. When his fingers brushed some feathery leaves, Quatre gave an excited yelp and flipped around into a crawling position. He reached blindly for the bush that his fingers had contacted, and, finding it, plucked a forget-me-not, careful not to pull the flower out by its roots.  
  
Sighing with happiness, Quatre turned back around and sat down. He twirled the stem between his finger and thumb, raising his sightless eyes to the sky. 'I should've asked Duo today,' he thought, 'is the sky blue, or overcast?' In the past, Quatre might've called a grey sky dull, but now? Now he'd give anything to see that colour again.  
  
Quatre sighed. Upon his arrival, and for many days afterward, he'd been awe- struck by the Earth's beauty. He'd observed it for many hours, simply watching, worshipping the colour and the life. He'd never seen anything more wonderful. Quatre closed his eyes, remembering those first few days.  
  
"I wish..." Quatre trailed off, and sighed. He shook his head, smiling slightly. You should never wish for anything.  
  
Quatre's smile broadened as a gusty breeze ruffled his hair. He hummed softly, enjoying the songs of the wind and the birds, and the texture of the forget-me-not spinning between his fingers.  
  
An aeroplane roared overhead and Quatre leaned his head back slightl___ "Ow!" Quatre rubbed the back of his cranium grudgingly. "Wall..." he growled.  
  
  
  
Tears sprang from Relena's eyes in an unabashed torrent. Heero had been so close to admitting his feelings, so close to accepting her! If she'd only had a second more she might've had time to convince him. Denying his wants wouldn't save him, it only guaranteed him pain.  
  
The stupid, white-clad Doctor toddled into the kitchen meekly, his skin blending in with his attire. "Miss Relena? I know this is a bad time, but there are other appointments back home, and I mustn't be late."  
  
Relena glared at him with the force of ten thousand daggers. Bad time? Bad time! This wasn't a bad time, this was a horrible time! Call the end of the world upon her and she could not feel any worse! Relena ignored him and collapsed back on the counter, her body shuddering with sobs.  
  
"Uh, Miss Relena? If you'll just sign this..."  
  
Incensed, Relena snatched the forms out of his hand. How could the man be so insensitive, couldn't he see she was distressed? Had it been her private doctor, Mr Andem, he'd have never bothered her at a time like this. Scribbling her signature next to the X, she left blotches of running ink all over the text with her tears.  
  
She handed the documents back to the man, and as he reached to take them from her, she yanked them back and began rifling through the forms.  
  
"Miss Relena...?" He stammered.  
  
"You haven't treated Quatre yet!" Relena barked, inadvertently loud.  
  
"Uh-what? I was told there were only two pilots___ er, patients to tend to."  
  
Relena narrowed her eyes. How did he know they were pilots? She opened her mouth to ask so, but he interrupted quickly, "I can treat him now, but it must be fast, I really am in a hurry." The Doctor offered.  
  
Relena nodded, brushing aside her suspicions. She swabbed her tears with a handkerchief, hopped off the counter, and began leading the way. "Well come along, I think he's in his room."  
  
  
  
It almost felt like Space. Not one noise infiltrated his concentration, and his body felt as light - no, lighter than - a feather. It was a remarkable and wonderful sensation, knowing that those mind-numbing headaches couldn't plague him here.  
  
One flickering candle illuminated the entire room, or rather, had been cursed with that impossible task. It burned low now, the short, melting rod on a slant like the Leaning Tower of Pisa, in a pool of cooled wax. As always, no sunlight penetrated this room, everything around Wufei was blanketed in darkness.  
  
If he had kept track of the correct time, Wufei had been awake all night. After the paralysis had seized him two nights ago, he'd sought out meditation like an addict sought out heroin. Wufei hated being helpless, and he truly had been that night.  
  
And now he found himself caught in a trance, enduring powerful temperatures and humidity. The odd thing was, not a drop of sweat beaded on his skin. His room had heated like an oven, and the air was so thick now you could swallow it. But his body was perspiration-free.  
  
In all honesty, Wufei knew where he was headed. Few had traveled this road, though the state achieved at the end was one worth dying for. Taught by the best, Wufei knew that that was just what would happen if he kept going. So being the fighter he was, Wufei rejected the land of pure bliss and all its promises.  
  
Beginning his return, Wufei retracted out of his semi conscious state, bit by bit, his body feeling more like a burden with each second. From lessons and experience, Wufei knew there was only one thing that could go wrong at this time. The consequence could be death, or worse, but for that to happen, there had to be outside intervention, and what were the chances of that?  
  
Suddenly a pair of sleek hands rolled over his shoulders, snapping Wufei out of his trance wickedly fast. He crashed back into his body with bone- breaking force, collapsing limply onto the person behind him. Wufei scrunched up his eyes and moaned, momentarily crippled because he'd come back faster than his body would permit. He felt as though he weighed a thousand tons, and his brain hammered violently against his skull.  
  
Wufei had escaped death by a finger's breadth, and though he knew he'd regain his strength in a minute, it infuriated him that he could not lift his eyelids to identify the culprit.  
  
Uneasiness whispered up his spine, as the hands holding him caressed his skin. He flinched when soft lips claimed his neck, sucking hard enough to leave a love-bite. "Wufei." a voice whispered. Wufei shuddered, trying desperately to move. Male fingers began slinking down his chest, and as something fell into his lap, his eyes widened in recognition.  
  
  
  
The End of Chapter Eight  
  
  
  
Next Chapter: _?x5 - though uve probably already figured out who the person is, relena's really dumb, mission, duo bastardization,  
  
Chowwwwwwiies :) 


	9. Love Kills

Huuulllooooooooooooo!!!!!!!  
  
I am so sorry... my compie... and this hasn't been edited well in case my compie stuffed up again  
  
But anyway, Thankyou so much!!!!!!!!!  
  
NOTE: since Enter doesn't work, I'm using '-' instead  
  
Personals to reviewers (I love you guys so much, every time I get a new review I'm like YEEEESSSS n then I start writing again!)  
  
Duo Folken TK: I never thanked u before for always reviewing!! Plz come back I love all my reviewers esp you *sniff *  
  
Izzy: Thankuuu tooo! I luv your reviews they're always so happy!!! Thankyoouuu heaps. I always write after you review, I mean ALWAYS!  
  
Hotaru: Thankoo, yours was my last review so I was full like, I've got to keep this person reading. : )  
  
Bakachan: ooo inspiring!! I saw that 1 and I was soooo happy, thankothankoo  
  
Wuffiesoujihone: thankyou soooooo much!! I love long reviews and after getting yours I was so swooning! Please don't abandon me!!  
  
Ryu-chan: thanksyou, I luv the coupling too bwahaha  
  
SHEBEARS25: hehe I thought this was a flame then im like yeeeahhhh! Thankyou heeps it's so good to get reviews, I was so happy!  
  
Myobsession: bwaha, thanku very much!  
  
AlovestarvedAngel: oooh sorry, Duo doesn't have much happytimes after all, hmm, but I'll bring him back!! Thankyou for your review!  
  
LuvTro3Ladies: yayyyy you've been following my plot! Thankyou very much, I know sometimes I can't be bothered writing reviews, but it makes me sooo happy when ppl do for me!!! (selfish - rite?) thankoo for always reviewing, I luv you!!!  
  
Redroe23102: hehe tanks : ) it's nice to get short notes too  
  
Robyn Williamson: I love you!!! You followed me!!! Yayyyyy. Please don't abandon me, it was the computer's fault! Thankyou so much for reviewing, I always write more when I get them! Omigosh u reviewed twicde!!! I love you moreeee!!!  
  
Animegirl1234: thankyou!! I hope I get my next up soon. thanks for always following me too, its so inspiring knowing ppl actually do look forward to it!!  
  
HELLCAT: I like you!! you're always suggesting plots n full changing my story. I'm like ooo good idea! Thankyou very much!! Plleeease don't leave me * hugs * I appreciate your reviews soooo much! I always take spec. note of what you say!! Thanks again!  
  
Last time: Quat visited Trowa. Heero had a flashback with Dr J. Heero woke up, kissed Relena (ew) Duo vowed evil. Wufei meditated, got half-paralysed.  
  
- CHAPTER NINE  
  
AC 192  
  
"Professor G, I don't believe we'll ever get to that stage. Why would I bother wasting 3 years of my life to counter it?" Doktor S challenged, reclining in a towering white chair.  
  
The Professor leaned forward, his scowl enveloping the entire laptop screen. "You're being naïve, Doktor S. This isn't some Civil War sprung by petty national idiots, or even a World War, which is confined only to Earth. It's the fight for Space, Doktor, an endless battle between Earth and the Colonies. The war will go on, people will die, and we may never see its end___"  
  
The other snickered, cutting him off. "Did you ever expect to see it end?" He inquired, lifting a plain cup and draining its contents. When he set the plastic thing back down, his eyes held a touch of curiousity. "But tell me, Professor. Why do you want to stop this procedure so bad?"  
  
The umbrella-haired man grew very serious. "I don't care about the pilots' quality of life." He began, sitting back. "If I did, I wouldn't have concurred with destroying their nervous systems in the first place. As I see it, if the pilots grow naturally, their bodies and brains will mature at a decent rate, they'll become even better soldiers than they will be at 15."  
  
Doktor S's expression darkened. "They're easy to control like this, they follow orders. As they age, they'll start to think for themselves, better to stop that aging process before they get out of hand, yes? And what will you do about the chemicals flowing through their blood? Do you expect them to survive with such high levels of poison?" Doktor S sighed. "The only reason I opposed Doctor J's idea, Professor, was simply because I didn't believe it would become necessary. I don't care enough to help you."  
  
"What better things have you to do with your time? Professor G threw back. "If you don't believe the procedure is necessary, why not aid me to stop it?"  
  
"You can't stop something if it doesn't begin," Doktor S stated. "Let Doctor J do what he wants, when this war is over, it won't matter anymore. To either of you."  
  
"It won't take long___"  
  
"I don't care."  
  
"Master O does."  
  
Doktor S's eyes narrowed. "What does he have to do with any of this?"  
  
The Professor paused thoughtfully, mulling over how much he should reveal. "I've swayed his decision," he told Doktor S, "Master O is now very much opposed. In answer to your previous questions, we've unearthed some very useful information." He smiled at the adjacent screen. "The pilots need the first half of Doctor J's procedure, it repairs the cells and neutralises any danger, but the second half..." he trailed off. "Will you join us?"  
  
Doktor S's face became stoic. "No, I won't waste my time. I won't interfere, but I won't be involved. What do you plan to do? Blow up the base mid-way into the procedure? You know that's the only way to stop it. The design is so complex, someone must be there when the base explodes, are you willing sacrifice yourself?"  
  
"Always," the Professor replied without hesitation.  
  
Doktor S shrugged. "I won't meddle with either of you unless it becomes necessary. But right now, none of this matters to me. That time of war won't come about." He stretched out an arm and pressed a button on the camera, ending the conversation abruptly. The image buzzed, and blanked out.  
  
- 'How could you? Destroy the only people that I cared for? Lived for?'  
  
With a short gasp Quatre felt his muscles convulse, his knees buckle and his heart fracture. He collapsed onto Trowa's bedside table, clinging to its edge. A tear began its journey down his left cheek and his lower lip trembled with the effort to keep still.  
  
'Loved? Now she's gone. She's gone, and they're all gone. I hate you. I HATE YOU. "I hopes this hurts, you bastard."'  
  
Quatre whimpered as his stomach reacted and he lost his grip on the table. Shaking with the effort, he flipped quickly onto his hands and knees just in time to feel his belly empty its contents all over the bedroom floor. He stayed in that position, trembling, tears dripping off his chin.  
  
'This is for my family.'  
  
Simultaneously, Quatre clamped his teeth down on his lip, dug his nails into the carpet and squeezed his eyes shut. Masses of someone else's pure odium crashed into him, thundered across his heart. Copper flowed across his tongue and the smell of blood wafted up his nostrils, yet he couldn't feel the stab of his own teeth.  
  
The pain was so intense, the anger so profound. He was about to capitulate and open his mind, when suddenly, it all stopped. A new, colder feeling flowed over the old, and this new grief was so much worse.  
  
'"I-I'm hit..." I'm hit... The monster got me, Zechs... just like you said it would. I failed my wife, my family... the child she carried... It was too strong, the Gundams were too strong. I'm sorry I couldn't save you... I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you... our child. I love you...'  
  
"Stop it!" Quatre lashed out shrilly. He smacked his hands over his ears and curled into a ball, his every muscle cording and quaking. "I didn't mean to..." He whispered, tears flowing down his face. "I didn't mean to..." Blood dribbled down his chin. "I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to... I'm so sorry for what I've done..."  
  
- An icy pad touched his shoulder. Quatre was up on his feet in a flash, teeth bared aberrantly. "Who's there?" He hissed, though it came out foreign between the empath's lips. He began to back away, and as soon as his heels bumped the base of a piece of furniture, he halted, shivering.  
  
"Why were you crying?" That impassive voice.  
  
Some leash on Quatre seemed to collapse. His harsh expression melted into a weary smile. "Heero," he confirmed, shaking his head in relief. "I should've known." Who else could cross the floor like a ghost?  
  
"What's that?"  
  
Quatre shivered. Was it he, or had the room just gotten several degrees colder? "What's what?" He asked, keeping his voice stanch.  
  
"In your hand."  
  
A meek furrow appeared in the blonde boy's brow. He looked down instinctively, and stomped on the pang of grief that rose to take hold of him when he saw nothing but black. 'At least I can still see with my hands,' he assured himself, uncurling his right fist. Using two fingers from his left hand, Quatre picked up the flimsy, broken stem.  
  
"Oh!" Quatre exclaimed in delight and surprise, his aqua eyes shimmering. "I picked it for Trowa," he told Heero cheerily, "a forget-me-not. I was going to write a letter for him too, so he'd find it when he woke up, but..." the halo around Quatre's head dimmed ever-so slightly. "I guess I can't write anymore."  
  
"Why?"  
  
Quatre's brow twitched. "Well you know, how I can't really see anymo-"  
  
"No," Heero cut in flatly. The blonde's heart fluttered nervously. "Why are you giving him a flower?"  
  
Quatre felt a hot flush diffuse up his cheeks. He lowered his unseeing eyes bashfully and the corners of his lips twitched. "Well," he said slowly, "I think, because I... I..."  
  
"You love him." Heero finished. It wasn't a question.  
  
A smile bloomed on the other boy's lips. "I do love him." He confessed, "I love him with all my heart-"  
  
As if on cue, Heero interrupted, "And your love would have killed you. Love makes it easier for us to die."  
  
Quatre looked up. "Oh Heero..." he mourned softly. "How can you say that when it's Duo's love that keeps you alive!" He paused, "You do love Duo don't yo-"  
  
"I'll write it for you."  
  
Quatre's brow puckered, "Huh?"  
  
"I'll write the letter for you," Heero answered flatly, the edge was gone.  
  
In an instant, Quatre's entire visage glowed with happy warmth. "Oh!" He squealed, delighted. All thoughts of Duo's unrelinquished love fled him. He would've shot across the room and enveloped the Japanese in a hug, but he didn't know where Heero was. So he settled for a huge, golden beam and a very heartfelt, "thankyou so much, Heero."  
  
The reply was simple, dispassionate. "Hn. Wait here."  
  
Quatre didn't care. In fact, he scarcely heard Heero leave the room he was so light hearted, and he was still beaming with pleasure when Heero returned.  
  
- Wufei paled visibly and swallowed hard trying to dispel the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. His quick eyes darted to the thick braid rolling in his lap, widening slightly as he recognized the person that extension belonged to.  
  
"What the fuck Duo?" Wufei snarled, trying to twist around. But Duo's hands clamped down on his shoulders like vices, holding him there with bruising force. His temper flared a couple of hundred notches, but knowing he wouldn't be able to escape Duo's grasp, he obeyed the American's silent command.  
  
The tolerance, however, didn't last long. As soon as Duo's finger slipped beneath his waistband, the spell of obedience was broken, and Wufei was furious. Snarling again, he tried to ram an elbow backwards into Duo's ribs.  
  
Duo must've somehow dodged the manoeuvre because his deft fingers snaked all the way up Wufei's torso and began caressing his shoulders in conjunction with the other hand.  
  
Hot colour flooded Wufei's cheeks, "Maxwell..." he growled. He wished he could say more, like maybe ask Duo what the FUCK he was doing, but his raging headache prohibited that special ability.  
  
Actually, that was the only reason Duo was still alive. It hurt to move, speak, even think, and there was currently a string of obscenities he really wanted to divulge, but couldn't.  
  
Wufei clamped his lips shut when a sound of appreciation slipped past his lips. Encouraged, Duo nudged the pressure points with his fingers again, and Wufei shivered. He gave an involuntary growl, struggling to suppress the hardening of the area between his legs.  
  
Wufei was incensed that his body was actually responding. He tried to turn again, but two hands gripped painfully onto his muscles and fixed him to the front. Wufei pretended to stay there only because he wanted to. He agonisingly folded his arms across his chest and pressed his lips together, shutting off Duo's increasing ministrations.  
  
Duo's strong hands pressed the spots in Wufei's back and shoulders more and more frequently, kneading, caressing, and sending delightful shivers all throughout his body. The whole time, Wufei suppressed every purr that tried to pry open his lips, every coo of pleasure.  
  
Refusing to show how NOT in control he was, Wufei concentrated intensely on the candle flame. If he'd at least been given complete control of his tongue, he'd have been cussing his head off by now. About to give that another go, Wufei opened his mouth.  
  
But the motions had stopped.  
  
Wufei cocked his head, puzzled. And then a surge of anger rocketed all the way up his body and he swore his face turned livid with fury. "Get off," Wufei snapped, referring to the lingering weight of Duo's hands.  
  
A few, uneventful seconds skipped by, and Wufei lost some of his arrogant confidence. Sure he could shift, and Duo's hands would simply slip off, but this was a matter of pride. Duo had to be shit scared enough to remove them himself.  
  
Wufei's voice dropped dangerously, "Maxwell-"  
  
He jumped at least a foot off the floor - or it felt like it - when a lock of cool silk brushed his overheated cheek. Wufei's eyes grew wide, and his ear tickled as hot breath stirred the lobe. "I think you'll like this, Wufei," Duo whispered.  
  
Wufei's heart rate increased tenfold and his instincts screamed at him to be on guard. Duo never called him Wufei. If he'd called him Wu-man, Wuffie, or fuck, even fucking Wuffikins, Wufei would have been a happy man. The fact that Duo had just called him 'Wufei' was just... wrong.  
  
He balked when soft, wet lips claimed his earlobe. Cold fear rose up his chest like bile up his throat. 'Something is wrong...' he thought. Duo licked, sucked, nibbled... 'Duo never jokes this seriously--'  
  
Wufei flinched when Duo bit down on his neck, lapping at the mark and then running his tongue along Wufei's jaw. A hand fluttered to his cheek, angling Wufei's face towards his as Duo began closing the short distance between them.  
  
Wufei's eyes grew huge. In the nick of time, a split second before contact, Wufei jerked away. The movement was slight - it was the most he could manage - but Duo noticed.  
  
The slender boy retreated a little, a faint look of confusion flitting across his face. His brow furrowed and his eyes cleared - just a tad, like he was trying to understand something, but couldn't quite grasp the concept.  
  
Wufei couldn't have cared less. Using all his strength, he spun and flung himself out of Duo's reach, scooting backwards on his ass until his back hit the wall. The movement caused a raging migraine, but it was worth being at a safe distance. Wufei narrowed his ebony eyes, forced the fear out of his system and glared a thousand daggers into Duo's clouded, violet spheres.  
  
The small boy blinked at him like a lost kitten.  
  
"Fuck," Wufei snapped, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"  
  
Duo disappeared. Wufei started, realising the boy had somehow merged with the shadows in the room. But he wasn't about to fall for the same trick twice. Dread filled the time between Duo's departure and his reappearance, and that hard lump in Wufei's throat returned to choke him.  
  
When he did come back, Wufei wished he'd been more prepared. At the sight before him, his eyes widened slightly, mouth dropping open just a little as he sucked in a sharp breath.  
  
"Duo..."  
  
Shadows slid off Duo's creamy shoulders, as he emerged, naked and crawling on all fours. Candlelight lit the smooth contours of his face and muscles, his chestnut mane tumbling animatedly down his back, slipping with the smooth grace of silk over his shoulders.  
  
Wufei stared, mesmerized, unable to look away. He couldn't summon the fury he knew he should be feeling, and in its place, fear was wrapping around his heart like a python, constricting, making it hard to be breathe. Fear because he wanted Duo. Fear because he didn't.  
  
"What are you doing?" He murmured.  
  
Duo smiled.  
  
Almost instantly Wufei snapped out his trance and tried to back away. His back slapped the wall immediately, and since there was nowhere else to go, he pressed against it and bared his teeth like a wild cornered animal, coal eyes narrowing to mere slits.  
  
"Fuck off, Maxwell," he growled, "I'm warning you."  
  
"Warning me?" Duo taunted.  
  
Seconds later, Duo's knees were wide apart and his fingers tilted Wufei's chin up as he made an arc over him. For a split second, Wufei found himself staring into glazed violet eyes, barely two inches from his - and then, Duo was kissing him.  
  
Oh my god.  
  
Wufei shuddered beneath him as Duo ran a hand up his naked torso. Duo's tongue brushed his lip, and Wufei found himself opening his mouth, gasping as Duo's body sunk onto his. His head spun and his pulse raced and for a moment, he remembered that he'd never wanted this; he'd never wanted Duo. And then Duo was kissing him again, nipping at his lips, and he didn't care.  
  
He moaned when Duo tore his swollen lips away, quickly leaning forward to catch them back in a frenzied kiss. Duo complied without resistance, their mouths clashing together as their tongues swiftly met. Wufei was lost, drunk on the taste of the other boy's mouth.  
  
"I know you need this," Duo whispered into the kiss, smiling.  
  
A hiss whistled through Wufei's teeth because he knew it was true, but Duo never gave him the chance to pull away. The American pressed his crotch against him, and Wufei sucked in a sharp breath, his eyes shuttering half- closed as Duo squirmed a little. Ha-"ate you..." Wufei growled, cursing his body for betraying him.  
  
It didn't matter. A second later he had captured Duo's lower lip and had pulled him back into another fervent, passion-filled kiss. Duo's hand moved lower, down to the most traitorous part of Wufei's body. The Chinese shuddered lightly when Duo touched him, his body rocking up slightly as heat filled his groin. Furious that he couldn't hide his pleasure, Wufei grit his teeth. Feelings of anger and shame flamed in the back of his eyes, but Duo's hot tongue soon pried apart the seam of his lips, distracted him, and he was drawn back into another passionate battle of their mouths.  
  
"Silly," Duo tutted softly, pushing him back against the wall. He slid a hand back up the chest as hairless as his own, holding Wufei's narrowed eyes until he found what he sought. Duo plucked Wufei's left nipple, rolling his thumb over the stiffened nub. At the same time he brushed his tongue over Wufei's shoulder, nipping at the muscles lightly, and then ducked his head to lick the hard nipple.  
  
A moan slipped between Wufei's parted lips as Duo swirled his tongue tenderly, and then fastened on the nub and sucked. Moving his lips to the other nipple, he circled the untended one with his fingers, grazing the nub inside his mouth with his teeth.  
  
"Duo..." Wufei gasped.  
  
Encouraged, Duo slid a hand between them, eliciting a harsh growl from the boy beneath him. He silenced the sharp sound with his lips, sliding his tongue back into that warm, wet cave. Wufei welcomed Duo's tongue with his own, his hands moving to grasp Duo's firm rear.  
  
Duo whacked the hands aside playfully, trailing his mouth down Wufei's chin and neck. He scooted down Wufei's legs and began gliding his tongue over the shuddering muscles of Wufei's torso, massaging his thighs with his palms. When Duo reached his lower abdomen, Wufei unwittingly dug his nails into the floor and opened his mouth in a moan.  
  
The Chinese boy pushed his hips upward off the floor, and taking that as an invitation, Duo immediately set to work. Duo hooked his fingers under the waistband of Wufei's pants, and was in the process of tugging the stubborn material down over his hips, when a hand clamped down on his wrist.  
  
"..." Wufei tried to speak, but nothing came out.  
  
He tried again. "Stop."  
  
The urgent jerks on his pants halted. Wufei's heart battered the inside of his ribcage and the blood pounded inside his ears. He had to think fast. Wufei hadn't stopped Duo before because he'd been too caught in the moment. But now, Wufei was sane, painfully hard, but sane. And there was no way he was going through with this.  
  
Wufei cleared his throat. "This was a mistake."  
  
He pulled himself up onto his elbows and saw Duo, half-straddling his clothed legs. Wufei captured Duo's sloe-eyed gaze. "We don't want this."  
  
He blushed when Duo fixed his eyes on Wufei's obvious state of arousal. Yes, he wanted Duo. Shit, he wanted Duo. But... Wufei gasped as a blast of cool air hit his heated skin when Duo yanked his pants down to his knees, freeing him.  
  
Something like cold panic shot up his system. "Duo, stop!"  
  
His eyes widened in disbelief when Duo didn't. Instead, Duo slid his hands up Wufei's thighs and bent over his cock, ready to take him into his mouth.  
  
Wufei's voice leapt and he tried to pull away. "Duo! You don't want___"  
  
"But you do," Duo cut him off, holding him there. He yanked Wufei's pants off the rest of the way, threw them somewhere.  
  
Wufei just stared, stunned,  
  
The American's voice was bitter. "When I showed you my body you wanted it, you looked at me the way Heero looks at me. I'm just a quick fuck, or in your case, a quick blow, that's all this body is."  
  
"Duo..."  
  
Wufei never had a chance to protest. He groaned as wet heat enveloped his erection, electric shocks of pleasure streaming through his blood.  
  
"Fuck," Wufei threw his head back as Duo bobbed his head up and down rapidly. He clenched his eyes shut and bit down on his lip, tasting his own blood. 'Fuck,' he thought again.  
  
Wufei willed himself to focus. "Duo..." he growled, bringing his hands down either side of Duo's head. His eyes flew open as he tried to concentrate. "Duo stop-" His words turned into a loud groan as a wave of pleasure washed over him.  
  
"Duo," Wufei tried again, fisting Duo's sweat-matted hair. He moaned, body spasming as Duo took him again and to the hilt. He could feel the height of his pleasure coming on, but he wouldn't let Duo humiliate him this way.  
  
He yanked on the strands of Duo's hair, but Duo didn't even flinch. Instead a second pair of hands seized his and pinned them to the floor, and Duo's mouth kept working its magic, plunging down, taking in the full length of his hardness.  
  
Wufei couldn't help it. He had to submit. But even as Wufei thought it, he felt his humiliation grow. Every thrust tolled little-by-little of his self- respect, every wave of pleasure fuelled bit-by-bit his hatred for Duo. Soon he pushed deep into Duo's mouth to distract himself, pushing with enough force to make Duo gag, not caring if he ruined the boy's throat. Harder and harder, faster and faster, his heart pounding like it was about to explode.  
  
And then, panting as he thrust one last time into Duo's mouth, his breath caught in his throat. Suspended for a split second with his back lifted up off the floor, Wufei had an instant to feel all the shame, humiliation and disgrace come back to him, and then time resumed and he was in euphoria; he groaned and exploded in Duo's mouth. Wufei shuddered once, and then collapsed back down on the floor, his body trembling with the force of his release.  
  
Duo swallowed rapidly as a hot stream of thick liquid flooded his mouth, and gave a startled cry when he was flung violently across the room.  
  
His back smacked the wall with a slap.  
  
There was deathly silence.  
  
Wufei turned over and staggered to his feet, shaking. He snatched up his pants and braced his arm against the wall for support, not bothering to cover his nakedness. Eyes unfocused, he stared blandly off into space, skin chilled with the cooling sweat.  
  
A short, heart-wrenching sob shattered his empty concentration, and out of the corner of his eye, Wufei saw Duo. Without the braid, his long, straggly mane lay free and bedraggled around his naked body, hiding every bit of insulting bare flesh, and thankfully shrouding his eyes. Duo mewled and wept.  
  
Red swam across Wufei's vision.  
  
"You bitch!" He shouted as he spun around.  
  
Rage flooded Wufei's body as he glared down condescendingly at the pathetic figure. It took every scrap of self-control not to haul Duo out of that corner and beat him senseless with his fists, beat him far beyond the realm of pain. The nerve. How DARE Duo cry when he, HE has been the one who had been stripped of all his pride. When he, HE had been the one who had been raped of all his honour? Trembling with fury, Wufei clenched his teeth and stood immobile, his muscles locked with tension.  
  
"Say something!" Wufei demanded, the blood thrumming in his ears.  
  
There was no response except for further recoil.  
  
It meant nothing to Wufei. Nothing. His eyes flashed with rage as he stormed forward several paces and loomed over Duo. "Say something," he hissed, "you fucking faggot."  
  
Duo kept silent, not even looking up. He wasn't pleading for Wufei's forgiveness; he wasn't even defending himself. How could this be a fellow Gundam pilot? What weakling would cry in the face of this insult, wallow in self-pity? Wufei had never seen anything more pathetic.  
  
"I pity you," Wufei spoke his mind. He hauled his arm back, ready to pummel Duo into dust, when a flashback of Duo's naked form struck him. Hand-shaped bruises, bite marks, dark, purple contusions scattered all over his chest, back, shoulders wrists.  
  
Wufei vacillated, his arm wavering in mid-air. Finally, after a few tense moments, he let it drop. "I guess Heero got to you first," Wufei sneered.  
  
Duo flinched, and at last, looked up. His face was a puffy mess, eyes swollen and bloodshot. "I-I'm sorry Wu-man..." He whispered.  
  
Good, let him regret. Wufei stepped into his pants and pulled them up over his thighs and hips. Then he stooped down and picked up Duo's discarded boxers. He pitched them at the shaking, pale boy, and the silken material slapped his side and flopped back, useless, on the floor.  
  
Tears rolled down Duo's cheeks as he unravelled his unruly limbs. "I-I'm sorry Wu-man... I messed up... I-"  
  
"Don't call me that shit," Wufei hissed sharply. He whipped his head around, his voice bitter. "And yeah, you messed up. What the fuck were you thinking? What the fuck did you hope to accomplish? Why would you do that shit, Duo? You fucking, idiot."  
  
"I'm sorry Wu-man-"  
  
"I said don't call me that shit!" Wufei snapped, sharp enough to make the air bleed.  
  
"I... I don't know what I was thinking... I just saw Heero... and Relena, and I wanted revenge," Duo started shuddering, his voice cracking up. "He knew I was there... he knew I was watching... and he didn't care... He just kept kissing her." His eyes filled like buckets, "I wa-wanted revenge so badly, I wanted Heero to feel something, I wanted to make him wish he'd never gone to her, I... I wanted to hurt him... like he hurt me."  
  
Wufei stared cruelly. "Nothing you do will ever hurt him, Duo. You have to love the person before you can be hurt. But you're just a guy Heero likes to fuck. That's all you are to him."  
  
Duo's eyes became blank. Silent crystalline tears fell down his cheeks.  
  
"You wanted to be a whore? Now you are one. Congratulations, Duo. I hope you're fucking happy. You can try and go get all the fucking revenge you want, I don't care. Just DON'T bring your shit out on me."  
  
Duo watched his ex-best friend cast him a look of pure hatred, swivel on his heels and then exit the room. It hurt. It hurt to have betrayed your best friend, and know you could never take it back.  
  
- AC 195 (1)  
  
"Five minutes until we receive the transmission," Professor G said, glancing at the laptop timer. He switched his gaze to Master O's face on the laptop screen and waited for confirmation.  
  
"What if they find out he was sent by us?" His counterpart questioned.  
  
Professor G cocked an eyebrow. "They won't."  
  
"And if we don't receive the transmission?"  
  
The Professor glared. "We will."  
  
"How can you be so sure?" Master O growled. "There are a million things that could go wrong. If this drug doesn't work, what then? That's 3 years of research and planning, gone to waste."  
  
"Stop acting like such a fool." Professor G scowled. "If it hasn't worked, we'll send someone to kill Pilot 04, just like we planned. 3 years is nothing to us."  
  
Master O appeared unconvinced, but he nodded anyway. "You're right."  
  
- "You know, I'm going to talk to Doctor Andem about you," Relena said superciliously as she stomped around a corner.  
  
She furiously yanked her tear-damp hair back into a low ponytail and bound it tautly at her nape with a blue ribbon. She wiped her tear-stained cheeks with her palms and pouted.  
  
"You think you can just, enter this safehouse, and do whatever you want to do? Treat people-me! However you want to treat them?" She raised her chin aloft her crossed arms, "humph! We'll see about that!"  
  
At least he'd stabilised Trowa properly, he should be convalescing right this moment. For Quatre, though, she worried. Who wouldn't? The petite blonde was, after all, the weakest of the five pilots. And the almost-loss of his lover wouldn't have helped his recovery much either.  
  
"Here we go," Relena announced as she skirted around the open door to Heero and Duo's bedroom. As soon as she stepped inside, her eyes flew to Heero's face and her heart leapt to her throat. "H-hey Heero!" She blurted, startled.  
  
"Relena," was the usual passionate reply.  
  
"Hi Relena."  
  
Diverting her gaze, Relena started. She'd been so dazed by Heero's presence, she'd fleetingly lost her sense of purpose. "Oh hello, Quat!" She exclaimed quickly.  
  
"Why are you here?" Heero asked, slicing off the end of her greeting.  
  
Her eyes swerved nervously to Heero's side - his hand, holding a sealed envelope. "Well-I er," she prevaricated, "you know, wanted to see if the -um, Quatre's blindness was... permanent. You see... the doctor I-Duo ordered came..." Relena trailed off, her lips pursing.  
  
Heero looked pissed. Sort of. "Why did you bring him here?"  
  
Moving with her royal prerogative, Relena braced her hands on her hips and stated intrepidly, "to help Quatre. To see if he will regain his eyesight."  
  
When nothing but silence met her gallant defiance, Relena's arms flopped to her sides and her shoulders sagged. "Please, Heero. This doctor is first- rate, "I'm sure he'll find out what's wrong with Quatre's eyes. I can't stand to see him this way. Did you know he has no memory of his dreams? Do you know how badly this may affect him? It could be trauma! Shock! Why you should be thanking me-I mean, Duo... for um, calling him."  
  
Relena did her best pleading look.  
  
"No doctors," Heero replied monotonously. "And don't let him leave."  
  
Now it was the doctor's turn to object. He surged forward, his eyeballs practically bulging out of their sockets. "But I must! I have other patients to tend to, others who need my help..."  
  
Heero turned and placed an envelope on Trowa's bedside table. "Hn," he responded mechanically, wishing the needles in his side would abate.  
  
"Heero-"  
  
"Shut up."  
  
Looking startled, Relena opened her mouth impudently, but was admonished before a single word escaped her lips.  
  
Heero settled his glazed, Prussian eyes on her. He spoke without moving his mouth. "You and Duo were not supposed to call a doctor. The doctor should not have treated Trowa." His eyes slid to the man's, razor sharp. "If you attempt to analyse Quatre Winner in any way, or try to escape, I will kill you." Heero pulled out his shotgun.  
  
Several gasps filled the room.  
  
"Please... guys." A soft, lilting voice said. Everyone in the room turned to look at the blind boy, silenced. Quatre continued, "Don't be angry with each other, it... hurts when you guys get mad. I'd rather just rest, if that's alright with you all?"  
  
Relena's guilt climbed a happy notch and her eyebrows shot up a few thousand pores. She felt like a fool. "Oh," Relena flushed gracefully, "Of course you can rest Quat... I'm sorry, I'll just go-"  
  
Heero brushed past her coldly, jostling her aside. Relena flashed her beloved a concerned look before casting Quatre a fond, sad smile and then ducking into the hall after Heero.  
  
The moment she set one foot outside the bedroom, something swift and tense like coiled steel came thundering past. Relena gave a startled yelp and pressed her back to the wall, her eyes following Wufei's rampage down the staircase.  
  
As soon as he left her sight, there was a tremendous crunch. With a start, Relena gasped, hand flying to her mouth. She spun toward the staircase, eyes wide with concern. "Wufei," she whispered, and dashed down the stairs after him.  
  
When Relena found him, he had two hands literally inside the kitchen wall. Where his fists had struck, there were gaping holes. Bits of plaster littered the tiles below, and a dark crimson river dribbled down his left wrist, a token of his temper. Wufei's shoulders shook visibly, rising and falling with his ragged breath.  
  
"Wufei...?"  
  
His whole form tensed. The breath became shallow. Back muscles rippling, Wufei turned, slowly. He yanked his hands out of the wall; not making a sound or face despite the pain it must've caused him.  
  
Relena's eyes flicked to his hands, dripping in blood, and back to his face again. "Wufei," she said softly, "what's wrong?"  
  
Bitterness flashed across the Chinese boy's face. "What's wrong?" He muttered resentfully. "Duo Maxwell, he is wrong-And you!"  
  
Relena gave a short gasp, and then realised that Wufei's finger was pointing just a hint over her right shoulder. She spun around, her frightened eyes softening as she saw who had stopped in Wufei's line of fire. It was Heero. Standing there in all his perfect glory, her saviour once again.  
  
"Heero..." she swooned quietly.  
  
Both boys ignored her. Heero's voice was soft, yet it cut like cold steel. "I am wrong?" He asked.  
  
The voice caused a flicker of apprehension. A look of fear crossed Wufei's face, before it was quickly masked with a scowl. The Chinese spared no mercy on the boy opposite. "Yes, Yuy, you are wrong." He hissed. "Maxwell is too, but at least he has an excuse for being fucked in the head."  
  
Heero stared emotionlessly. "And what is that?"  
  
There was no mirth in Wufei's laugh. "Don't you see? His excuse? His reason?" He emphasised on the last word.  
  
The Perfect Soldier didn't blink.  
  
"It's YOU, Heero." Wufei's eyes flashed as the words tumbled from his mouth. "You are what makes Duo wrong. Without you, he's perfectly sane, but with you... How can you not see it?" His scowl deepened. "Duo would do anything for you, he'd die for you, sacrifice the mission for you, and all you ever do is hurt him. You do nothing for him, and yet he loves you, relentlessly, forgivingly, like the baka he is, getting nothing in return." A bitter smile stretched across Wufei's lips as he regarded Heero. The Perfect Soldier had no expression, surprise, surprise. Wufei continued anyway, "And now it's too late. You shouldn't have kissed her, Yuy. Duo came to me, and now you two are dead. There's nothing between you anymore. Does that make you feel better, Heero?"  
  
Heero said nothing.  
  
Wufei spat through clenched teeth. "Does it?"  
  
Relena dared to find her voice. It came; quiet, unsure. "H-Heero? You don't love Duo, you..." She filled her lungs, exhaled. "I can give you so much more!" She hesitated, tears beginning fill her eyes. "Duo-"  
  
"Damatte Relena," Heero hissed, whipping his head around and bestowing the Glare of Doom on her pale unsuspecting face.  
  
Wufei felt a twinge of surprise, but kept his coal eyes narrowed, his face scowling. Was that an emotion he saw? His brows knitted.HH  
  
Light bounced off Heero's eyes. Or had it reflected the film of water across them? Wufei shook himself. No, never. The Perfect Soldier never cried.  
  
"What did he do?" Heero spoke coolly, slowly, like it took effort to keep his emotions shackled. The only sign that he was falling apart was his wavering on the last word.  
  
- "Does that make you feel better, Heero?"  
  
Heero locked his smooth mask in place, kept his eyes cold and inhuman. 'Don't remember.' The Perfect Soldier told him. If he remembered, if he spared a flicker of a thought for that braided baka, he might remember why he remembered.  
  
"Does it?"  
  
Pure odium wreathed through his thoughts. Heero swayed under the onslaught. Cold dispersed across his limbs, flowed softly, lethally through his blood. The same, scathing voice resonated in his ears, 'You do nothing for him, and yet he loves you, relentlessly, forgivingly, like the baka he is, getting nothing in return.' Nothing.  
  
'But I have nothing to give,' Heero whispered inside himself, remembering. Loving, violet eyes. A layer of his mask fell away. 'Don't make me remember. Don't make me remember. Don't make me -'  
  
A girl's piercing voice. "H-Heero? You don't love Duo, you... I can give you so much more! Duo-- "  
  
'Don't say that name! Please, I can't lose what I am. My mask... That name means nothing to me.' 'Hey Hee-chan!'  
  
"Damatte Relena!" Heero hissed, whipping his head around and glaring. Too late. He was remembering. Masks slipping, so many shields he'd held for ten years of his life, shattering. 'Not now,' he whispered. 'Not now...'  
  
'You shouldn't have kissed her, Yuy. Duo came to me, and now you two are dead.' So much pain. Warmth, like fire, filled the sockets of Heero's eyes. 'Duo... What did I do to you?'  
  
"What did he do?" The words slithered out like vile snakes. Heero didn't want the answer, he didn't want to know. 'Don't tell me Wufei, please, I couldn't bear it.'  
  
He didn't want to die on the inside. Not again.  
  
- Wufei hesitated to reveal it. What he said now - if he spoke the truth, it would destroy the tenuous love between Heero and Duo, forever. Despite all that Duo had done, Wufei wasn't ready to kill him yet. And losing Heero would kill him. But Duo deserved no better! What difference did it make that Heero; that foolish love, was what had made Duo act so recklessly. It made no difference at all!  
  
Still, Wufei vacillated. Duo had been his best friend, the only friend he had ever known. And lost. Wufei steeled himself. They weren't friends anymore, what did Wufei owe him? He owed him nothing. Nothing at all! "After you kissed Relena," Wufei began, strong. "Duo came to me. He was hurting... desperate." Wufei's voice faltered. It was now or never. "We-"  
  
Knock, knock, knock.  
  
Heero's head snapped toward the door, his bangs brushing over his eyes. Prussian glaciers pinned all attention on the door, as if Heero possessed some X-ray vision to see through it. The perfect mask was back in place.  
  
Wufei swooned in relief. 'Thank God,' he thought, 'I don't have to tell him.'  
  
- Relena, at a loss for words, started towards the door. She was never given the chance to take her first step. A lean arm lashed out in front of her, freezing her in mid-walk.  
  
The arm, undoubtedly Heero's, was connected to a fist, clutching a shotgun. As usual. Relena suppressed a heavy sigh. It was probably just some helpless wanderer. Using her toleration voice, Relena cooed, "Heero, put down the gun, I'll get the door."  
  
Heero ignored her. He signalled for Wufei to follow, and glided forward with the grace of a panther. Relena shrugged and rolled her eyes, boys and their war-toys. Would they ever learn?  
  
An instant later the door was open and Heero stood beautifully in the doorway, shotgun poised and finger on the trigger. Relena ogled, she couldn't help it.  
  
"A-ah, hello." There was a rustle. Heero's face remained expressionless, his body immobile. The man's throat cleared. "I'm Miss Relena's doctor, Mr Andem. I-ah, knew I said I was sending another, but I got back just in time. So I just turned up." Nervous laughter. "Is she in?"  
  
"The doctor you sent is here already." The voice was deadly.  
  
Relena's heart began to thump in her ears.  
  
"The doctor I-No, you must be mistaken, I sent no one. I'm Mr Andem, the one and only, Sir. Now if you please, lower that instrument of destruction, and, is Miss Relena in?"  
  
The blood in Relena's veins crawled like sludge. Her heart was thumping, furiously.  
  
Wufei, narrow-eyed, turned to face her. "Relena, is that Mr Andem?"  
  
Relena nodded, slowly, slightly. And as if the gears in her head suddenly clicked into place, she slapped a hand to her mouth. Relena whirled around, facing the staircase. If Mr Andem hadn't sent another doctor, then who was upstairs, alone in the room with Quatre?  
  
"Quat," she whispered.  
  
- THE END OF CHAPTER NINE  
  
I'm not sure of the timeline, assume 195 is the present.  
  
Yay me! I finished it! Omigod! Like it only took me 6 months.  
  
Actually, this chap is not edited mostly, so... sorry. But I wanted to get it up before my computer blew again, so you know.  
  
Next time: there's lots of fighto, Duo and Wufei have a tiff, Heero doesn't know the reason behind the tiff still. He's all nice to Duo, for once. But of course conflict gets in the way. No Relena, no Trowa, teeny Quat. 1x2 yaoi  
  
Chowchow! I luv u all!  
  
Thanks soooo much for reviews you have no IDEA how much they affect me!!! Please review some more even though I understand if you think I SUCK, but humour me!  
  
: ) 


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